I think pain is something that’s as necessary in life as happiness. I am grateful every day for my pain, even those times where the pain was so consuming, I never thought I’d ever be able to learn to let it go. I honor my past painful experiences because they have proven to be my greatest teacher and have birthed so many accomplishments, instilled emotional availability, transformed, and taught me more than my happiness ever has, for sure.
Feeling, owning, working through, and eventually letting go of my pain was hard, but the end result was an existence beyond what I ever thought was possible.
If I had never experienced pain, I would be nowhere near as appreciative of every detail and every little aspect of myself, my life and the people in it.
Pain heightened my appreciative awareness.
If I hadn’t experienced pain, I wouldn’t have the level of empathy that I have now because I know what it’s like to be in a place that’s so dark, you feel like you’ll never get out. You can’t see, you can’t feel, you can’t trust… you’re frozen in heartbreak.
I remember many summers ago, I was so distraught from a breakup that I felt cold every day. I’m talking like the shivering, freezing kind of cold that only tea and a hot shower can shake… for the whole SUMMER (& summer in LA is HOT).
It’s like I didn’t even see in color anymore; everything was de-saturated.
Everything had lost its appeal to me.
If my life was a balloon, it would have been a deflated one on the floor.
I think that a lot of times, we look to escape pain, even with the best of intentions. We try to do cleanses, workouts, mantras, meditations, gno’s, etc., and we still feel that emptiness. Or, we try to “tackle” pain like it’s a wild dragon that needs to be conquered and tamed.
You can’t exercise, sleep, drink, party or cyber stalk pain away.
The truth is, you can’t escape pain and the more that you try to, the more it will compound and end up hurting you in the end. The only way you can learn to let it go, is to feel it through and commit to doing something positive with it rather than go off the deep end and ultimately embarrass yourself.
The hopelessness and heartbreak that you feel right now is not going to be the way that you will feel forevermore. It’s not. I was broke as a joke, no access to any healing activities, no good advice (or friends), no direction and no confidence during one of my worst heartbreaks and if I got out of it, so.can.you.
You can put an end to the bs right now. Not tomorrow, not after exams, not next year, not after you get that job, not after you move, now. You can. The buck CAN stop here.
You can break the cycle and tell yourself that this doesn’t have to continue.
You can’t escape pain but maybe, just maybe you were put in this place of pain to evolve.
Maybe you have to feel this out right now; maybe you needed to be cracked open and maybe… this could be the start of a whole new you.
Be good to you. Be kind to you. Love yourself first, because when you do, you’ll actually start to meet those people, live that life and feel that REAL happiness that you have to work so hard to attain right now.
Everything will change. The fakery and emptiness with dissolve. Believe it, commit to it and watch what happens. Can’t wait to say “I told you so.” 🙂