Thankfulness is a feeling and gratitude is an action. To me, they are one and the same because if you truly feel thankful, you won’t be able to not act upon those feelings.
Gratitude naturally happens when thankfulness is felt.
I don’t like talking about gratitude because it seems so cliché. I think the term is overused, outplayed, and in many ways, like forgiveness, it can have this stigma of being unattainably zen.
I can’t NOT talk about gratitude though. It saved my life.
Today is Thanksgiving and although it’s not celebrated everywhere in the world, this is the start of the holiday season. The holidays are great until they’re not. Yeah, it’s the best time of the year but it can also be the most painful.
Nothing activates your triggers and highlights your heartbreak, loneliness, single-status, insecurities, and dysfunction more than the holidays.
The holidays do a really good job of making us feel guilty for not responding to them in the merriest way possible.
If right now you feel hopeless, heartbroken, and like you have to pretend to be happy through this holiday season, you are not alone.
For this post, instead of writing a brand new one, I wanted to add to and update my post from last year with more thankful quotes of mine.
Here is a master list of thankful quotes I’ve put together from the years of writing about heartbreak during the holidays…
- #1: If you’re alone and missing an ex who treated you poorly, be grateful that at least you don’t have anyone cheating on you, lying to you, pulling the wool over your eyes, mind f*cking you, mixed-signaling you, drunk/high texting you, potentially giving you an STD, or deflecting blame.
- #2: Feel thankful for the fact that you make your own emotional money. You are a person of high value and you produce your own emotional currency now. And because you know the value of your emotional dollar, you’re able to invest wisely. You never accept nor tie your value to disproportionate returns. And just like with literal dollars, because you have your own emotional riches, you don’t need to rely on anyone to foot the bill. Be grateful that you also know when to fold. You opt out of situations and relationships that are non-mutual and exclusively on your emotional dime.
- #3: Even if you don’t have any true friendships, be grateful that you no longer have any more friendsh*ts. You’ve decided to flush the toilet instead of wasting your time spraying air freshener that never lasts over the crap that is a fake friend. Also, be grateful that you actually have the ability to flush and are no longer a slave to your disease to please.
- #4: Give thanks for the knowingness that you are a person of high value. Be grateful that because you know how high your value is, you have no problem making a dignified exit on your white horse when you find yourself in friendsh*ts, relationsh*ts and situations that devalue you.
#5: Be grateful that you can you feel your feelings independent of reactivity. Feel a deep sense of gratitude for the fact that you’re a responder, never a batsh*t reactor. Response is rooted in action, reactivity is rooted in emotional impulse.
- #6: Be grateful for the f*cktards and the pain they have caused. I mean… it lead you here. You’re in a tribe made up of love, understanding, support, empathy, and badassness.
- #7: Be grateful that you aren’t the new girl he’s with because he will end up doing the same thing with her. And be grateful that you respect yourself enough to go no contact with anyone who participated in your dishonoring – Regardless of the holidays, a birthday or whatever it may be.
- #8: Be grateful for the fact that you now allow people to own their own behavior, words, and actions independent of your perceived lack of value. Thinking that it has something to do with you is not only reverse narcissistic, it negates reality – Reality that you no longer choose to argue with.
- #9: Be grateful that you can do the one thing your ex can’t: Speak with your actions.
#10: Feel thankful that you stopped equating passion with potential and are now attracted to people as they are in the present moment.
- #11: Feel thankful that you’re never going to be anyone’s emotional, financial, psychological, and/or empathetic training wheels ever again.
- #12: Be grateful that you no longer miss your wet bathing suit. You wore this bathing suit all day – you sweat in it, went to the pool in it, the ocean, the bar, the club… you went everywhere it in. When you finally got home, you realized how dirty it was, hung it up and decided to shower. Just because someone else came along while you were getting clean and mistook your wet bathing suit for it being new/fresh out of the wash, she/he is STILL wearing your wet, dirty, used, sweat-in bathing suit (the bathing suit = your ex). Been there, done that. Unbothered.
- #13: Feel thankful for knowing that no matter what anyone does/says to you – good or bad – it’s a window into their perceived shortcomings, dysfunction and pain, not a knife into yours.
- #14: Give thanks for the allergy that you now have to f*cktards, bullsh*t and petty gossip/drama.
#15: Be grateful for the red and pink flags. Even if you didn’t act on them right away, it’s better to be alone now than to be in a relationship where you feel more alone than physical aloneness.
- #16: Be grateful for your privacy and your health. They are sacred.
- #17: Feel thankful that you’re using the dysfunction of others to motivate you out of your own.
- #18: Be grateful that you were his karma and he was your northern star.
- #19: Feel thankful that you are no longer wasting time shining your light on f*cktards and marveling at their illumination.
#20: Feel thankful for other people’s allergic reactions to your evolution. It’s a sign that you’re on the right path. Keep evolving and be kind along the way. The world will adjust.
- #21: Be greatful that you already have the best friend you’ll ever have. The secret to the solid friendships I have is that I let go of expectation. When I learned to love myself, I naturally stopped being so touchy, so hypersensitive, so offended and so let down in my relationships. I let go of soul-eroding jealousy and my constant need to “win” and be chosen. I realized that no matter who rejected me, abandoned me, or hurt me in my life, I’d always be with the one person who would never let me down or leave my side: ME.
- #22: Feel thankful for the
bulletnuclear bomb that you dodged. Be grateful that it didn’t work out with your emotionally unavailable ex. The shadow of the next person will be brighter than your ex’s light at it’s fullest amplification.
- #23: Be grateful that you fell off your white horse and have decided to set boundaries as a result.
- #24: Be grateful for your failed relationships because they mirrored the relationship that you had with yourself. They showed you what you needed to work on and what you no longer needed to tolerate.
#25: Feel thankful for your pain. Knowing pain allows you to appreciate happiness that much more. It allows you to stop taking others more seriously than they take themselves. The most beautiful people in this world are the ones that know pain, suffering, failure, loss, rejection, abandonment, and have found their way out of the darkness. These are the most incredible people you will ever meet and guess what? You’re one of them.
- #26: Feel thankful that you’re existing, right now. Our time is not a given, it’s a privilege.
- #27: Be grateful for your intuition and that you now act on it instead of prosecuting it to invisibility. He was this way before you, with you, and he will continue to be who he is after you.
- #28: Feel thankful that you’re done tying your worth to the actions and inactions of others.
- #29: Give thanks that you’ve run out of sh*ts to give. Seriously. You’re done giving a sh*t about sh*t that doesn’t matter. You now have standards and limits. And it feels fantastic.
#30: Be grateful that you can speak with your actions and stay on the white horse. Most people can’t. Don’t give anyone the opportunity to label you as the resident psycho who needs a leash and a muzzle. Let your actions speak. Silence is louder than any word known to man.
- #31: Feel thankful that your ex didn’t value you because it allowed you to learn how to value you. It also made you realize that he/she didn’t value themselves.
- #32: Be grateful that he’s with her now. You have not only put an end to the f*cktard era of your life, but you now know what you don’t want and what you won’t put up with. She is a non-entity in your life. Be kind to other girls, always. It’s not her fault that she can’t see yet what you already know.
- #33: Be grateful for your health. It’s all you have. If you’re like me and your health got affected when you were going through heartbreak, be thankful that you have the opportunity to reclaim it and take care of your beautiful body that has never let you down.
- #34: Be grateful for your resilience. Your success rate for getting over trauma is 100%. If it weren’t, you would not be reading this right now.
#35: Be grateful for the people in your life who value you, show up for you, have your back, and match their words with their actions.
- #36: Feel thankful that you will attract what you now exude.
- #37: Be grateful that your ex made you feel worthless. Why? Because that was the last time he/she or anyone else ever will.
- #38: Be thankful that you are the adult, best friend, advocate, savior, hero, mother, father, and inspiration that you needed when you were younger and didn’t have.
- #39: Feel thankful for your ability to ACT upon those feelings with gratitude – Even if you feel like you have a long way to go. “Without gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. As soon as you truly commit to making something happen, the ‘how’ will reveal itself. When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. Live every day with an attitude of gratitude.” – Tony Robbins
#40: Be grateful for your strength. “I am thankful for the struggle because without it, I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” – Alex Elle
Be thankful that we all have each other. You are never alone.
Choose gratitude because gratitude is the only emotional life raft there is.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate. I am so grateful for each and every one of you, all around the world.