The hardest thing to do when you’re in the midst of a breakup, going through drama¬†with friends, having disagreements with family or coworkers; are a hormonal mess, hate the world, want to tell everyone to refrain from doing absolutely anything but completely f*cking off, etc. is to stay on the white horse.

The white horse and I didn’t used to be friends.¬†I thought the white horse was stupid, weak and not even an option.

Now, the white horse and I are besties.

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So, you snooped. All the way through your boyfriend’s phone, his iPad, his laptop… everything.

Obviously, snooping isn’t the best thing to do. It’s a violation of privacy, trust and it isn’t morally right. If you snoop and you let your emotions associated with the information that you uncovered get the best of you, 10 times out of 10 you will be the one that ends up:

  • Looking/feeling crazy, angry & like a fool
  • Accused of having “major issues” and being told to “check yourself in” / “get help” (followed by a door slam or being hung up on, unfollowed on social media, sh*t talked about, etc.)
  • Abandoned and alone. Again.

Yes,¬†all of the above is definitely true, but we don’t give a f*ck, we snoop anyway. We snoop harder. We snoop smarter.¬†We have to.

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“Should I stay friends with my ex?” –¬†a question I get asked a lot.

Welcome to the NO FRIEND ZONE, or as I like to refer to it, the title of Chapters 2-5 of my autobiography that chronicles my elementary, middle and high school years.

I don’t know why (and I am so guilty of this), its so.f-ing.comforting when after a breakup, inquiring friends and family come to you and say “I heard about the breakup…” and before they can even get another word in or ask you how you’re doing, you immediately reply “It’s okay. We’re still going to be friends.”

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One of the worst feelings in the world is when you take a flight and right when the plane hits the runway, you immediately turn your phone back on¬†and…nothing. Not a single text or voicemail. No one wondering if you arrived¬†safely, nada.

Last week, the complete opposite happened to me when I flew back into Los Angeles after a quick business trip. I landed, turned my phone on and had 19 texts and 2 voicemails all from the same person – my best girlfriend who I’ve known for 20+ years.

She noticed that her ex had unfollowed her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest (guys are on Pinterest??).

It was right out of one of those old western movies where the bad guys come and level the entire town in 15 seconds flat. This was a massive, rapid, drive-by unfollowing. She was in a complete freak-out-lockdown panic mode.

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