You will never run from anything in your life faster than you’ll run from trying to figure out how to let go of someone you love and miss everyday. It goes against your DNA and the very fiber of your being. How can you just let go of your home, your engine, your wheels, your legs… your emotional air supply – HOW?
Although it’s not easy, we can deal with finding out that we have to get surgery to repair something that’s physically broken, but if we’re told that we need to get a limb amputated immediately… that’s obviously a whole different story.
We aren’t wired to emotionally digest having to amputate that which is not only essential to fully functioning on the everyday basis that we’re used to, but that which is a part of our body – be it emotional or physical.
So what do you do when life suddenly gives you a diagnoses of emotional amputation?
Where’s the manual for how to carry on as an emotional amputee?
HOW do you live with a missing emotional limb? A limb that was essential to getting you back to a home that you’re now locked out of.
And just.like.that, you inhabit a colorless existence – alone, homeless, scared, cold and placed on a never ending treadmill at a speed that your heart hasn’t built up the strength or endurance yet to sprint.
For me, writing this blog is my definition of vulnerability. I find that the more I share, the more connection, meaning and healing is manifested. And where there is meaning and connection… judgement, disconnection, re-traumatization and destructive patterns are no longer able to survive.
Remember: weeds don’t need anything to grow; they’ll grow through the f*cking concrete without a drop of water. The most rare, fragrant and beautiful flowers need consistent attention and nourishment.
The day that I stopped trying to believe that my weeds would one day, magically turn into orchids, was the day that I had the courage to uproot the weeds.
EVEN IF that meant facing my fear of having an empty garden for the time being.
So, with that intention… I’m going to share a little more of my story with you.