Still feeling insecure after the last post

That’s because the last post was about insecurity in your relationships and we haven’t yet tackled feeling insecure about yourself. Clearly, if you’re feeling insecure in your relationships it’s because deep down, you feel insecure with who you are. Feeling insecure at times in life is inevitable. You could have the healthiest levels of self esteem, self love, confidenceboundaries, and it doesn’t matter. Sometimes insecurity just creeps in and hits you like 10 tons of bricks.

Like I said in the last post, if you have healthy levels of self esteem and boundaries, you’ll be able to talk yourself out of drinking the insecurity sizzurp and move on. If not, and you’re like I used to be (a shaking, sweating, self-sabotaging, f*cktard-magnet-wrecking-ball), keep reading.

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If you’ve gotten to the point where you’re wondering desperate to figure out how to stop being insecure in your relationships, it’s probably because on some level, you can see that your insecurities are ruining your life.

{This is part 1 of a 2-part series that I’m writing on insecurity. This first post is about to how to stop being insecure in your relationships and the next post will cover how to stop being insecure with yourself – your looks, your life, your beliefs, etc.}

I’ve been insecure my entire life. I’m human and of course there are times where I find myself feeling insecure, but I’m now able to put down the insecurity joint when it suddenly appears in my possession. I don’t remember one time in my childhood where I ever felt confident, accepted or like I was worthy of fitting in. I never felt secure. If the lack of confidence wasn’t already enough, I had crippling anxiety (and would sweat and shake profusely), due to the uncertainty that I always felt about myself, my relationships (especially the one I had with myself), and my life in general.

When I faced problems in my relationships, I never knew if it was me or if it was the other person that was in the wrong, but I always ended up blaming myself. I had no clue how to stop being insecure and put an end to the sh*tty luck, relationsh*ts and the lack-luster, sub-par groundhog-day that my life was.

How did I finally figure out how to stop being insecure in my relationships? 

Get ready for an “aha!” moment orgy…

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Even in the relationships where I felt happy, was told that I was loved and there were more good times than there were bad, I still found myself at times wondering, “does he love me?”  and if so, “how do I really know?

Stupid, right?

How could I be wondering “does he love me?” if he tells me that he loves me multiple times a day? It didn’t make sense but for some reason, my mind stayed on it.

Yeah, I was happy in what looked and felt like a good relationship on paper, but I had also become: competitive, jealous, hyper-insecure, stalkerish, validation dependent & was a magnet for drama.

This wasn’t me. Why wasn’t I happy? How could he continue to do those little things that hurt me in such profound ways? Why wasn’t I special enough for him to understand that sometimes he was really insensitive? Was I being too sensitive?

So how do you solve the Chinese Finger trap equivalent of relationship questions…

Does he love me? & if so…

how do I ever really know? 

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How to get what you want in life… hmmmm. What if you don’t know exactly what you want? You’ve reached the point where life feels unfulfilling, your relationships can best be described as a promo for a Dr. Phil show and you’re not comfortable in your own skin. You don’t like who you are because you don’t like what you’ve become. It feels like everything has been dimmed and deflated.

But somewhere deep down, you know you want out. You want a better existence, better relationships, better luck and a better you – even if you don’t think it’s possible. 

Is there a clear-cut answer for how to get what you want in life? 

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