Throughout everything I’ve experienced in my life, few things have been more transformative than empathy. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes, to see something from their point of view and to understand what they’re experiencing because you have either experienced or felt the same way before.

Whether it was what I like to call “empty empathy,” genuine empathy or an absence of empathy altogether, they have all proven to be serious game changers that have taught me, humbled me and added so much unapologetic joy and gratitude to my once lackluster (depressing, unlucky, insecure, OCD insane, people pleasing), existence.

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Tell me one person who doesn’t want to have clear skin, better moods and doesn’t care about looking good naked…

…crickets…

Everything that I eat and do, I try to make sure that it contributes to my joy, my health, my confidence, my self esteem and my emotional well being.

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YESSSS. Soulmates. I love this topic and I have a lot to say, especially if you’ve ever worried that your soulmate is either nonexistent or nowhere to be found.

But first… Is anyone else really tired? I’M EXHAUSTED.

How is it that we’ve had two holidays in a row, time to chill, hopefully some free time, a weekend behind us and yeah… I could go back to sleep right now. The holidays do that to you I guess. SO this week, apparently, we’re back in business – New Year’s resolutions, heartbreaks, lessons learned, goals, hopes, wishes and dreams for 2016, all in tow.

These past few days have been rough. I needed to dig really deep. Looking back, I realize that when we are going through something difficult, we become so desperate to get the outer circumstances to change, we convince ourselves that we should attempt to control what is beyond our control. What happens then? We end up further victimizing ourselves and finding ourselves in more of an emotional rut a sh*tstorm than ever before.

I realize that over the past few days, while I’ve totally had the right to feel sad, hopeless, scared, etc., I needed to take care of my own thoughts and not do things to subconsciously look for attention. That’s not me. Did I slip into that a little? Absolutely.

Yeah, I’ve been scared and I am scared in a lot of ways. Thankfully, I am good to myself (I take care of my body, I get acupuncture, I meditate, I do yoga, I eat well & I am mindful of my emotions – more posts on all that + beauty stuff to come), but I’ve learned that all of the affirmations, unsent letters, “don’t jump” books and friends in the world won’t shake loneliness and fear of the unknown.

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This is the last post in a 3-part series of posts on Narcissism. In part 1, we established what a narcissist is, in part 2 we discussed the difference between an emotionally unavailable and a narcissist and now, in part 3…

I want to discuss my own narcissism (yes, you heard right) – why I was a narcissist, how I identified my own bullsh*t and how I conquered it (“conquer” may have been a bit too strong of a word here. I just like how powerful it sounds. As you can tell I’m in a mood today. Reality is, I’m still a work in progress, but I have progressed out of my past narcissism. I still have slip ups, I’m human).

So, was I all those things that I defined a narcissist to be in my previous posts? Well, in a way, YEAH. I totally was.

Guys I’m telling you, the emperor really has no clothes over here.

Do I still find myself repeating old behaviors that are that of a narcissist? Definitely. The only difference between then and now is that I’ve gotten to a point where when I slip back into old thought patterns, I can catch myself before I act on those thoughts. I can talk myself off the “let-me-just-humiliate-myself-further-and-hand-over-my-dignity-on-a-silver-platter,” ledge.

Was there ever a time that I thought people should feel lucky just to be graced with my presence?

Never, not one time in my life.

So how the hell was I a narcissist then and how might you be a narcissist, even though you’re not going all out of your way to let the world know how fortunate they are to be in your atmosphere??

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