I never knew what emotionally unavailable meant until a few years ago. I had heard about it before and thought it was just some bizarre psychological term that seemed too diagnostic and inapplicable to explore further. How could anyone be emotionally unavailable? What did that even mean?
I began to think about the relationship I was in. I thought about how much I had started to question my reality and how down on myself I had become. I couldn’t help but wonder… “is he emotionally unavailable?”
Emotionally unavailable men are the guys that you feel like you can never read.
They are the main reason Sex And The City had the dialogue that it did.
You will always be trying to analyze and decipher an emotionally unavailable man. Because they are unable to tap into their emotions, they lack empathy. These guys always seem to have a lot of women attracted to them because they are so ambiguous, hard to lock down, and always keep you on your toes. You never fully know how they feel or where they stand. And you can never fully write them off because they’re not quite a great guy but also, not quite a jerk.
Emotionally unavailable men will always give you excuses as to why they don’t want to jump into a relationship right away. They will blame their last breakup, current job, new job, old job, school, sports, commitments, bad timing, trauma, illness in the family, their dog dying, their lack of money… and the list goes on and on and on. They will blame one or all of these things on why they aren’t able to fully commit right now (as if you’re asking for vows to be written and a ring to be purchased).
These guys don’t have any problem with reaping all the benefits of having you as a girlfriend, while not even being a real and committed partner who can answer a basic question. To keep you hooked, they will give you dose after dose of false hope for a future together. They will wreak havoc on your emotions, send you mixed signals, and completely f*ck with your head and heart.
In the beginning, he will be the man of your dreams. He’ll give you all of the attention and care you’ve ever dreamed of but once he has you hooked, he’ll turn cold and confusing. You won’t be able to read it or understand. You’ll think that maybe you did something wrong. So, you further invest and stay in an attempt to understand him better and prove how much you love him. He will then throw you a few crumbs for your efforts and make you feel like the real him (the version that you first met in the beginning) is coming back. It never happens and if it does, it never sustains. Continue Reading