And because the common denominator of successful dating and romantic relationships is in-tact self esteem, the real root of my obsessive and very specific questions was always:
- Finding a cure for feeling like I was never enough.
- How to stop my obsession with winning and being chosen. I was always in some sort of passive competition to be chosen by a f*cktard. And when you’re in a position of someone having to choose you, you come to the relational table without any leverage. The requirement of being able to stay at that table is handing over your dignity to the person across from it.
- How to stop being affected by every.single.blow of the emotional and relational breeze.
- How to be confident enough to not only listen to but act on my instinct instead of remaining in the misery of prosecuting, negating, and avoiding it.
- How to run out of f*cks to give when it came to my fears, insecurities, and just put an end to my unlucky-in-love “streak,” which had become a fancy word for “life.”
- How to stop always being at everyone else’s emotional beck and call when no one was ever at mine.
Through the years, I’ve been asked so many dating, self esteem, and relationship questions from men and women that I’ve written about at length. I don’t ever write from any sort of psychological high horse. I’m human and I’m fallible. I still get painfully insecure, massively triggered, and I make mistakes every day.
The only difference between now and then is that I allow these things to be the experiences that they are instead of definitions to subscribe to. I no longer attract circumstances and people who cater to and affirm that subscription because I have unsubscribed.
I write to solidify what I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made so that I can help as many people as possible. I also write to remember my own advice.
Relationships fascinate me – always have; always will. And as much as I love to go in depth with singular questions and topics, I wanted to address 25 of the top dating, self-help, and relationship questions I’ve been asked through the years. I initially wanted to do 50, but I think it’s best to answer the second 25 in a future post.
I also made it a point to keep the answers as simple, quick, and accessible as the questions are real and relatable.
A long explanation isn’t always needed for something to click within and initiate a life-changing epiphany.
So here they are…