Last year, I wrote about how to cope with being heartbroken on Valentine’s Day. This year, I wanted to focus on self love because it’s the one thing that I have struggled with the most in my life, as the lack of it simultaneously robbed me of one.
I also wanted to share some things I’ve been struggling with the last few weeks.
If you lack self love, you will always feel this undercurrent of insecurity, misery, doom, a lack of control and no matter what, you will never feel like you’re able to call your own shots. Life just kind of happens to you as you watch everyone else make sh*t happen. It’s an undercurrent that for a really long time, I felt like the only way to conquer was through superficial gains – following the follower, wearing clothes I couldn’t afford, dating powerful men, having celebrity friends, etc. Basically, anything I could piggyback on so that I could feel significant by association.
I became a professional hypebeast for the delusional band-aides I had put over the cancer that was my lack of self love. Everyone had a cheerleader in me but me.
All I had was a box of what I convinced myself, were cancer curing band-aides.
It doesn’t matter if you’re single, in a relationsh*t, a friendsh*t, an almost relationship or if you’re with your soul mate. If you lack self love, you’ll lack fulfillment because you will lack the ability to adapt, change, grow, execute, succeed, empathize, and evolve on your own.
And contrary to what we see in the moves and on tv – Because no one can do these things for you or ever make you feel “special enough” to do these things for yourself, you will always be chasing your own emotional tail – entertained to an extent, but never fulfilled.
You may be able to attract true love, but you won’t be able to maintain it because you can never keep a fire burning that you can’t ignite within.
You’ll also lack the ability to do the one thing that separates the Emotional Jedi Masters from the Emotional Bed Sh*tters: Allow others to own their own behavior, actions, bullsh*t, decisions, lies, inconsistencies and empathetic bankruptness – independent of your value.
If you don’t believe that you have any value, you will always be so hungry for a buyer that you’ll become blind to the discount you consistently agree to.
Your gut will always know though. And it will eat away at the core of your being until you meet the universe half way.
Decide to set your standard/price instead of asking f*cktard people to set it for you, by deeming you “special enough” for them to transform into someone that they’re not even capable of being.
If you had 10 million in the bank, would you really care if someone didn’t believe you or didn’t “see it?” No.
Because you know what’s in your bank and that’s all that matters.