How to stop missing someone is one of those subjects that I’ve tried to avoid writing about, just because of the sheer impossibility of it. ALL I want to do is help people out of pain, suffering, self sabotage and patterns that I know all too well. So, how could I reduce to a light switch, the kind of pain and longing that hijacks your joy, your consciousness, your thoughts and your heart?

How could I remedy through my words, a wound that runs so deep, it allows your deepest fears to burst out of a closet that you thought you had bolted shut?

I didn’t think I could I compete with that kind of wildfire, until I found myself in the middle of a blaze bigger than ever before.

I get asked everyday, “How do I stop missing him/her? I’ll do anything. I just want to stop feeling this pain. I’m exhausted… but I just can’t.let.go. HELP.”

And I’ve been there. OMG have I been there.

I get it, I feel your pain and I’m feeling it with you right now. Although my current pain isn’t rooted in romance, it doesn’t matter. Pain is pain. This isn’t a competition, this is something that we ALL feel and every ounce of it is valid because it’s OURS.

Since my Grandma died a few weeks ago, I wake up every morning feeling like I’m drowning. I have good moments, but the pain of missing her seems to have a radar that extinguishes any kind of inch toward movement. Experiencing the death of a loved one is excruciating, but at the very least, comfort can be found in the finality that death embodies. Finality is an extremely painful and difficult reality to accept, but you can rely on the knowingness that it’ll never change and thus, organically and at your own pace, accept, appreciate, grow and evolve.

I truly believe that breakups can be harder to deal with than death because with breakups, there’s never really a finality. Death by breakup is always subject to resurrection. It’s weird. You could be completely moved on, a year down the line enjoying yourself at dinner and all of a sudden, you get a “happy birthday!” text.

And just like that… they’ve resurrected from the graveyard. If only for a moment.

When it comes to figuring out how to stop missing someone, what do you do when you’re mourning the death of someone that’s living and breathing?

I miss my Mom everyday. I miss the person that she was before cancer. Most people wouldn’t notice much because she doesn’t skip a beat, but I do. I miss her and I struggle with how to turn off, or at least lessen that yearning for what was and for what my heart hopes will someday be again. I can never fully trust that hope though, because there’s always this looming fear of the cancer showing up somewhere else, just as it did after her first surgery last year. I beat myself up and feel guilty for even expressing these feelings when her situation could be so much worse.

That’s the thing with pain though. Not only does it NOT discriminate, but once it permeates… guilt, self sabotage, fear, anger & a destructive level of MISSING, will take on a life of its own as long as you continue fertilizing it.

This got me thinking about past relationships and missing exes. I remember missing an ex so much, everyone that I encountered did nothing but highlight every detail of his absence. My decisions, lack of maturity and lack of honesty were a big reason for the relationship ending. Because of that, I began to disproportionately beat myself up after he dumped me, sinking lower and lower into “I’ll-never-get-over-him-or-love-again,” hell.

& that’s when the sh*t really hit the fan.

As I sunk lower and lower into the self blame, I didn’t realize that because I had sunk so low, I would have to look up higher and higher whenever I thought of him. This inverted pedestaling, not only upped my feelings of hopelessness, but it caused complete blindness to his shortcomings.

Because I was so busy beating myself up and doing everything I could to re-traumatize and reaffirm that I was indeed forgettable, discardable and worthless, I failed to remember that there were 2 PEOPLE in the relationship with their OWN shortcomings and faults.

There was nothing I could do except watch (through a fake social media account because I had been blocked), how his life was so much better without me in it. How could he not miss me and just be so okay? How could he just forget about me and everything we had?

It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to figure out how to stop missing an ex that wasn’t good for you, an ex that was the love of your life or if you’re dealing with death or another kind of loss.

WHAT REALLY MATTERS: you need a way out of the pain, out of the stagnation and OUT of the life-robbing MISSING-ness.

Here’s how to stop missing someone when you’re so heartbroken, you feel like you’ve already died an emotional death.

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Referring to myself as a beauty junkie is about as much of an understatement as describing boiling water as warm.

Whenever I find new products or have been using a product for a while that has stood the test of time (which is hard in my makeup case, it’s a very tough crowd; only the best make it out alive), I immediately want to share it with you guys because why not? 

When I find products that not only live up to the hype, but make me feel happier, more radiant, confident and beautiful, I can’t NOT share.

Post Male Syndrome is all about inclusivity; ALL facets of looking and feeling your best – which includes wellness, fitness and beauty – inner & outer.

Today, I’m focusing on the outer. 

As much as I love makeup – lashes, red lips, dramatic winged liner, a nude lip and smokey eyes, a BOLD brow… ALL of it – Lately, I’ve been going for a no makeup look. The photo below was taken about a year ago when I was headed to a fancy dinner and first tried the “no makeup look” out (& now I suddenly want to get more blonde highlights and cut 3 inches off my hair. Going to book an appointment tomorrow).


I’m loving the healthy, dewy, minimal makeup trend right now. It gives a chance for your outfit, hair, nail color, shoes, etc., to really shine and have more of a center stage. I also think it’s really refreshing. I went out to dinner with a girlfriend last night and did the exact “no makeup look” routine that I’m about to share with you.  Next week, I’m invited to a wedding and going to do it again, except I think I’ll add a bold, burgundy lip (loving the shade: high drama).

A really cool thing has happened since I’ve slashed my makeup routine in way less than half: Besides having more free time from not endlessly watching YouTube makeup tutorials, I actually get complimented now on ME (my skin, hair, nails, etc), instead of how beautiful my makeup looks and how flawlessly it’s done.

So, I obviously want to share my “no makeup look” routine and what products, when used together, have worked wonders for my complexion (and time management. HA).

Let’s get right to it: My “no makeup look” routine + products (& how to use them)…

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No matter how much it’s rationalized and explained, being friend zoned sucks. And trying to figure out how to get out of the friend zone when you’ve been through it so many times that you’ve acquiesced to the identity of “professional friend,” isn’t worth it because at that point, what’s the point?

Figuring out how to get out of the friend zone seems impossible because the friend zone is, in and of itself, an impossible situation.


The friend zone is built upon the foundation of an unwavering discrepancy in feelings – whether both parties are aware of this, or just one.

In the friend zone, there’s generally an abundance of auditioning on your end, an abundance of receiving on his end and a painful lack of the kind of connection necessary for more than “just friends.”

If you struggle with confidence and suffer from low self esteem like I used to, being friend zoned is one of the most potent, “I’ll-never-be-enough” affirmations out there.

The whole process of being perpetually friend zoned catered so well to my fears, belief system and insecurities, it literally robbed me of an identity. I had no authenticity left and got resigned to the emotional sidelines of a story that should have been recognized as MY life.

What else was there to do other than waste more time looking for someone to “make me happy” and “complete” me?

Because of past “friend zone” impositions, I couldn’t take care of my own emotional needs. So, I went out into the world, trying to be this “BFF with massive potential,” hoping to find a human bandage for the emotional cancer of “I am not enough.”

Although the friend zone does indicate an obvious lack of connection, if you’re wondering how to get out of the friend zone, there are things you can do to ensure that you don’t end up in that awkward, embarrassing, self-esteem-obliterating zone again.

Here’s how to get out of the friend zone (for good!) in 5 easy steps…

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Mixed signals are one of the most seemingly complicated, yet completely uncomplicated aspects of relationsh*t territory that you will ever encounter.

& they’re completely non-discriminatory when it comes to relationships.

Mixed signals can happen in dating, romantic relationships, friendships, professional, and family relationships. The pain that they cause however, is only a prelude to the damage that subscribing to them inflicts.

Relationsh*ts that are plagued with mixed signals generally result in:

  •  Ghosting 
  • Romanticizing of f*cktards (because if you have low self esteem & nonexistent confidence, you’ll interpret the consistent mixed signals as mysterious/alluring, in a “please-validate-me-while-I-throw-away-my-dignity-trying-to-solve-your-contradictory-puzzle,” kind of way).
  • Delusion in the Land of Limbo. Stay in the circus long enough and you’ll no longer know what you can trust/rely on and what you can’t. With an emotional compass missing and a sense of reality in shambles, your fear of loneliness, rejection and abandonment will begin to mute your instinct (& sense of reality).

And because there’s no solid foundation underneath your relational house, you’ll never want to leave the house for fear that it will all come crashing down if you take so much as one STEP toward the front door.

  • Self-blame. Because if you only base your value one someone else’s ability to recognize it, what else is there to do?

It kills me to acknowledge the extent to which I let confusion from mixed signals (& the subsequent need to investigate/answer seek), waste my time.

Looking back, the saddest part about it is that I devalued the preciousness of my own time far greater than anyone’s mixed signals ever did.

Here’s why mixed signals happen, how to decode them & what you need to know…

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The good news: this is the END. The end of the holiday season that highlights being single, heartbroken, feeling insignificant and alone.

The bad news: (as if New Years Eve wasn’t hard enough), it ends on the one holiday dedicated to completed hearts and happy couples.

I think the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day does a better job of highlighting the heartbroken and heightening the “I am not enough” factor, than it does in celebrating the most rare of all rarities: true love.

Whether you’re single, just broken up or in a relationship, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been in relationships before where I’ve felt more alone than if I were to be physically alone in a cardboard box. Yoga really helped facilitate this awareness for me. You could be in a crowd of hundreds of people and if you’re heartbroken, lacking connection and emotionally isolated, you will feel more alone than physical isolation.

Big events, holidays, friendsh*ts and relationsh*ts can heighten our alone factor to an extent that supersedes the physical.

With physical aloneness, there’s this black and white, concrete evidence that supports the mentality of “I am alone.” With emotional aloneness, you become grey-zoned; a circumstance-imposed pariah, the Dumbo (one of my favorite movies of all time), in the middle of the three-ring circus. You may be immersed in surrounding company and “connection,” but if theres no emotional one, the circus you’re in will only highlight the pain and heartbreak associated with emotional isolation.

This is why big cities can be some of the loneliest places to inhabit.

& this is why Valentine’s Day can be so difficult when you’re heartbroken.

Feeling that heartbroken aloneness 24/7 is tough enough. Having to go through a day that’s KNOWN for its grandiosity in celebrating the very antithesis of your current emotional state? No Thanks. 

If you find yourself heartbroken on Valentine’s Day, here are 3 things to keep in mind…

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Just pairing the words “social media and relationships” together gives me anxiety.

Although the topic may seem naïve, silly or immature, it’s not. It’s a real issue – an issue that I wanted to write about because when it comes to social media and relationships, there isn’t much out there.


The topic of social media and relationships is one of those guilt and shame-inducing unmentionables that we’re too scared to admit we have an issue with. We’re scared because there’s a part of us that feels like we have no right to impede upon someone else’s right to do whatever they want with their OWN accounts.

A big reason why this topic never gets discussed: whenever it starts to become a problem, we automatically generate a bandaid-on-cancer excuse, with the ease of breathing air:

“He had these accounts (and a life!) before me. Who am I to have a problem with it?”

“I FINALLY have what I want. He’s an amazing guy in every aspect. I need to get over this pettiness before I loose him and fail at yet another relationship. I’m not getting any younger. This is just me trying to self-sabatoge a good thing.”

“It’s better than him cheating on me! At least he feels comfortable enough to create relational discomfort right in front of my face.”

“All guys do this! I have no right to be embarrassed or feel shameful about it. He’s just being a guy. It’s not like he’s sexting/DM-ing or Snapchatting these Instagram models and a*s/boob accounts. It’s FINE. I need to work on MY issues and  insecurity, not obsess over trivial things that don’t matter in the long run.”

And the list goes on.

So, we give ourselves the excuse pacifier and seek to work on becoming “more understanding,” “less sensitive,” and “stronger.”

Yet, there it is – this omnipresent, unknowing, shameful, “if-I-was-enough-he-wouldn’t-have-to-follow/comment/like,'” lingering, mind f*cking MADNESS that you just can’t shake no matter how many excuses you try to douse the voyeuristic fire with.

Is there an Instagram/Facebook etiquette for dating and being in relationships?

What are the pink flags that precede the red ones?

How do you know if YOU are being the unreasonable one?

When does “normal” social media activity become a deal breaker?… When does it become wrong?… When does it become creepy?

I’m fortunate to have dated men that could care less about social media. All it took was dating ONE guy that was extremely “active” on social media, to unearth my most humiliating behavior, reverse-narcissistic mentality and deepest insecurities (that I didn’t even know I had in me).

The thing about social media and relationships is that, if you’re being disrespected, it’s the ultimate indirect and passive slow motion torture.

There’s nothing that’s being DIRECTLY aimed at you, so if you ever call your partner out on it, YOU look like the unreasonable, boundary-less a*shole.

When it comes to social media and relationships, here are 5 red flags to look out for:

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