When your ex wants you back… Before I even begin, I want to say that this post DOES NOT just apply to romantic relationships. This applies to friendships, familial relationships and professional relationships as well. This applies to any and everyone who was on the receiving end of heartbreak, betrayal, disrespect, selfishness, etc., and is now faced with the offending party wanting to make it right in the form of getting back into your emotional bed (with monogamy, consistency, respect, care, communication, trust and follow-through in supposed tact).
This is something that I’ve dealt with many times; something that I’ve FAILED MISERABLY at handling in a healthy/dignified manner and something that on so many levels, I am dealing with in my life right now. It’s hard, it’s heartbreaking and it’s an all-out WAR between your gut, your head, your heart and oxytocin.
There’s so much material out there on “how to know if your ex wants you back,” “signs that your ex wants you back,” “does he/she want you back QUIZES”, etc. The reason I’m not delving into all that is because I feel like if it gets to the point where you have to take a quiz or become Inspector Gadget to decode whether or not someone actually wants you in their life… it’s not cute, it’s not flattering and it’s definitely not worth your time.
It’s a red flag.
But what do you do when your ex wants you back for real (& makes it very clear)?
How are you supposed to proceed with the one person who’s now assuring you, won’t break your heart in the same way – or any way – that they ALREADY have?
You’re suddenly hearing everything that you wanted to hear and seeing everything that you wish you could have seen before the tornado hit. Or maybe you’re just getting more crumbs, but because they’re so.much.bigger than the few, “hear-and-there” crumbs that you got in the past… It stops you right in your emotional tracks.
Because these crumbs are substantial enough for YOU to construct a loaf out of. So… Is it still a loaf if you’re the one constructing it?
Welcome to the depths of back-and-forth, emotional-philosophication limbo HELL.
Whatever the case may be, the other party has either done or said enough for you to at the very least, stop and think about wtf to do and how to proceed. And because we are energetic beings, this usually happens right at the moment when you’ve made the decision to surrender to what is, accept, let go and do your best to move on with the picked up pieces of your broken heart in tow.