For this New Year’s post, I wanted to bring back my best friend and greatest teacher: My Mom, Tarane. My Mom came up with the concept of the white horse and wrote a very personal guest post a few months back about where the white horse resides. We have been wanting to collaborate on a post together for a while and the New Year seemed like a great opportunity. So, we decided to keep it simple and create a master list of our most powerful motivational quotes, things to remember, and rules to live by going into the New Year.

Each one of these motivational quotes have not only transformed our own relational luck and lives, but they have transformed the relationships and lives of thousands of men and women we have been lucky enough to work with around the world.

These motivational quotes are all directed toward folding from the toxic and mastering healthy relationships – The relationships that we have with our friendsfamily, romantic partners, and most importantly, the relationship that we have with ourselves.

If you are sick of…

  • The mixed signals and mind f*ckery.
  • Feeling like you always have to be providing something for your friends, your family, and/or romantic partners for them to notice you in the way you do them, give you the time of day, and treat you with any kind of regard or respect.
  • Turning terrible people into collages of your excuses instead of acting on their behavior.
  • Outsourcing your empathy and self-worth by investing in “loaf factories” that turn out to be a few moldy crumbs.
  • Being the emotional training wheels for f*cktard people in your life that you may be having a hard time cutting off/letting go of.
  • Never feeling like you’re enough for anyone (yourself included).
  • Being a people pleasing doormat, who inevitably gets ghosted – literally and/or emotionally.
  • Attracting narcissistic partners and then feeling like their selfish behavior is a result of something that you did/didn’t do or are/are not.
  • Always getting screwed over in your friendships and romantic relationships. You get crucified for doing one fraction of what others have done to these people. And you feel like you’re always at risk for abandonment, judgment, cheating, and for them to recoil without any explanation or clear communication. You’re sick of the relational eggshell walking.

And this year you want to…

  • Set healthy boundaries that boost your self-esteem and attract quality people.
  • Flush the bullsh*t.
  • Feel GREAT about a now clean psychological toilet instead of guilty and beating yourself up for flushing the crap.
  • Get rid of crippling anxiety and self-sabotaging insecurity.
  • Be able to embrace failure and allow it to propel you into success – Instead of allowing the shame of falling off your white horse to freeze your emotional assets.
  • Start calling your own relational shots.
  • Get everyone who dishonored you, disrespected you, and broke your trust/heart to regret what they did while you become indifferent to them and their relational amateur hour.
  • Feel more confident than you ever have and turn your pain into unf*ckwithable power.

If these are the things you want…

Then this post and these motivational quotes are for YOU.

Here are our top 25 motivational quotes, things to remember & rules to live by to make this New Year your year…

Motivational Quotes & Rules To Live By In The New Year#1: As far as motivational quotes go, this is one of my favorites. I discussed this in my last post and put it on my social media last week. “Words mean nothing without action backing them up. And just like actions supersede words, PATTERNS supersede action. Everything you ever wanted to know about someone’s character and emotional intelligence can be found by taking a look at their patterns. Actions are great and all but remember… ANYONE can do something chivalrous. Anyone can make a buck, spend a buck, book a flight, open a door, put on some lingerie, buy a ring, send flowers, write a card or physically show up. The ability to recognize patterns is what allows you to separate the emotional nostalgia that’s tied to the grandiosity/chivalry of their actions from the TRUTH of their patterns.” – Natasha

#2: “Words and actions are the denominators of personality. Patterns are the denominator of CHARACTER. Always choose character over personality and looks. I grew up being taught to go for a winning personality over good looks. This is a great starting point, but life has taught me to go for character and integrity over personality. A winning personality can be so addicting because it looks impeccable on paper – You can talk all night, finish each other’s sentences, laugh, the banter back and forth is unlike anything else, the flirting, the chivalry, etc. Having character is allowing the other person to know that they can trust you based on patterns that match non-grandiose words. There is nothing sexier than a man/woman with character.” – Natasha

#3: “People will ALWAYS consciously and subconsciously, through their patterns, show you exactly who they are and how they feel about themselves. This has nothing to do with you. Broken people break people, insecure people make others feel as insecure as they do. Happy people are genuinely happy for the success of others. People who gossip to you will gossip about you. Those who feel worthless will always have you questioning your worth. If you felt happy with someone who was toxic, that is nothing more than YOU creating that happiness by pining over potential instead of getting up from the kid’s table you’re sitting at and moving over to the adult’s. Always remember… You are so much more than the people who could not love you, value you, be honest with you, or see your worth. Their blindness is not a reflection of your value – It’s an affirmation that you were the mirror and that they hate their reflection.” – Natasha

#4: “Someone could give you all of the physical attention in the world, but if they are ignoring you emotionally, losing them will never be a loss. It’s a giant win. Stop telling yourself that you ‘lost’ a toxic person that you gave everything to. You WON. You GAINED a second chance.” – Natasha

#5: “If you don’t ACT on the recognition of being a toxic person’s victim, you immediately become a volunteer by default. Never volunteer to be the diapers for emotional pants sh*tters.” – Natasha

#6: “If someone shows you through their patterns that you’re Plan B, show them through your actions that they’re Plan BYE.”

#7: “Get rid of anyone who treats you giving them a chance as though that means they’ll have multiple ones.” – Natasha

#8: “If you wouldn’t be turned on by and date a physical deadbeat who lacked ambition, stop dating emotionally unambitious deadbeats.” – Natasha

#9: “Unless you want to be crazy-labeled and feed the ego of the person who dishonored you, never explain what the consequences of their behavior ‘will be,’ SHOW them. You should never feel like you have to motivate someone to keep a promise that THEY made to you before they got their needs met. I’ve had people hurt me (I’ve done my fair share of hurting too) and then realize what they did, apologize, and shape up. And that’s great, especially when it’s genuine. After that though, they wonder why I’m not the same. Bottom line – there are long-term consequences to breaking someone’s heart and trust. Especially if they broke it more than once. Think about it like a bone – If you break your arm once, you will most likely have a full recovery and recover relatively quickly. But, if you break it multiple times, it will not only take longer to recover, but there will be long-term effects of the multiple breaks.” – Natasha

#10: “Up until a few years ago, I empathized to a detriment with people’s INTENTIONS – especially when it came to family members and lovers. I knew that their intentions weren’t bad and that deep down, they loved me… But I always ended up short-changed and heartbroken in the end. I realized that family, lovers, and friends can love me with all their heart. They could never INTEND to hurt me, but you will never live a life on your terms if you continue to put up with other people’s dysfunction as a result of an intention that you may know deep down, but that their actions and subsequent patterns negate. Just like you can’t be someone’s crutches if they aren’t able to walk, you can’t finish people’s emotional sentences for them. Stop trying. Start WALKING. I was NOT the victim here. Remember – Your boundaries and tolerations go hand-in-hand. You will only tolerate people who treat you no worse than you’re ALREADY treating yourself. My problem was that I was allowing the good intentions of others (because we had history, they were related to me, I knew they weren’t a “bad” person, they were nice to other people, etc.), to fog my vision in regard to the hurtful dysfunctionality of their actions and patterns.” – Natasha

#11: “Recently, my best friend (I wrote a blog post about one of our text conversations here), told me that I’m the most empathetic person he’s ever known and that I am also the most unempathetic person he’s ever known. This made me laugh because we know each other so well, I knew exactly what he meant. Because I don’t outsource my empathy, I’m able to love, empathize, and connect with people on a level that most can’t. Conversely, I don’t empathize to the point that it starts to cost me – my health, sanity, happiness, self-respect, boundaries, and sense of reality. This used to induce a lot of guilt because we are taught from a young age to empathize with everyone at all costs. The moment that someone dishonors you, you are under no obligation to continue to put yourself in their shoes to try and figure out why they did what they did. The only obligation you have is to take care of yourself, maintain healthy boundaries, and get the f*ck out of dodge. I don’t make a big production out of it and kick and scream, I just fold. This is how you become the one that got away and this is how you get people to regret how they treated you (remember: if they had the capacity to treat you terribly, they are ONLY going to be capable of selfish regret, not genuine remorse). I may not outsource my empathy but because of that, I live a much more peaceful, drama-free and happy life. I’m also able to love, connect, and empathize that much deeper.” – Natasha

#12: “Keep in mind that life is a sexually transmitted syndrome. It’s terminal and we are all inflicted. We begin to die from the moment we are conceived. Keeping this in mind enables you to stop wasting your precious time and energy trying to change/convince someone that you’re worthy of their love.” – Tarane

#13: “Go for actuality and stop hoping for the potential to actualize. Know what your deal- breakers are and don’t compromise. As women, most of us are raised to fall in love with potential. To see enough possibilities in the frog and the beast, to fall in love with the prince they may become, to kiss them and ‘break the spell.’ Consequently, we master the ability to infuse emotion into just about anything. We then romanticize it, sexualize it, idealize it, potentialize it, dramatize it, fall in love with it even when we know it’s not good for us. We gradually convince ourselves to ignore the red and pink flags. Even in the face of personal negative experience with the frogs and unmistakable misbehaviors of the beasts, we doubt and deny our very own reality. Instead, we must know what our deal-breakers are before becoming involved with someone and not negotiate or settle for anything that compromises those deal breakers and our boundaries.” – Tarane

#14:  “Trust and listen to your gut. We have all heard this but what does it really mean? Your gut or intuition is made up of several components. Your gut is comprised of your thinking mind, your feeling heart, and your sensing body as they experience the external and the internal world. We are bombarded with a steady flow of internal triggers, external demands, information that separates and distracts us from paying mindful attention to this amazing trio. Instead of paying attention to what our minds, hearts, and bodies are telling us about the person we are in a relationship with, we obsessively invest more time, energy and love in an attempt to convert the nonbeliever to believe in our love and our relationship. We become emotional and relational missionaries who continue to work hard to convince him/her to become a believer in our worth and value. We argue, defend, cry, beg, barter, negotiate and even threaten, hoping that with enough effort, the infidel will believe. When he/she refuses to believe and even disgraces us and the relationship, we stay in denial, ignore the signs, ask why they won’t believe after everything that we have done for them. Eventually, we either break up or break down. This why we rehash the past – all the effort, the pain, the arguments, the drama of converting the nonbeliever.  We rehearse the future when he/she fails to convert– We can stay in this time zone for very long periods of time. Listening mindfully to your inner compass, your guiding trio, your gut can help you stay away from the none- believers. Choose to invest your time and energy in someone who sees your worth, your value, and does not need you to be their emotional missionary, converting him/her to believe in you/ your worth/your relationship.” – Tarane

#15: “Stop giving people credit that they haven’t earned. I was 28 years old when I discovered that regardless of who I am and how I present myself, there are basically 3 groups of people!  Group 1: Those who like me. These folks give me positive credit that I haven’t earned. They like me because I or something about me reminds them of a positive experience with someone I remind them of. Group 2: Those who dislike me. These folks assign negative credit that I haven’t earned to me. They dislike me because I or something about me reminds them of a negative experience with someone I remind them of. These two groups have a psychological allergic reaction to me. It has nothing to do with me. They are reacting to what I trigger for them positively and negatively, respectively. Group 3: Those who can be objective. These folks will give me positive or negative credit based on my actions, our interactions, and our relationship. We all have psychological allergies to some folks and can be psychological allergens to others. Loving someone begins with loving oneself. Loving oneself is not possible without self-knowledge. You must know your psychological allergies, look for people from group 3 who are not triggered by you, and learn how to deal with the other two groups.” *more on this later – in another post 🙂 – Tarane

#16: “Never ask a question that your gut already knows the answer to. The Red flag is having to ask that question. Act on it.” – Tarane

#17: “Value your most prized possession: Your time. Flush the relationship and emotional toilet when you’re done. Spending valuable time, effort, and energy with what your mind, body, and emotions need to expel will not change or improve what’s in that toilet. If you’re done and have already had the talk, then don’t explain over and over again. Wipe, get up, and just flush. Don’t forget to wash your hands.” – Tarane

#18: “If you don’t love and respect yourself enough to act on red flags, you’ll never respect anyone who truly respects you. No matter how much you claim to want it.” – Natasha

#19: “The moment you give anyone’s deception the time of day is the moment you activate your own self-deception.” – Natasha

#20: You are not what happens to you. You are who you choose to become because of what happens to you” – Tarane

#21: “Make your dignified actions after his deception be his karma and allow that deception to be your northern star – pointing you on your way to better.” – Natasha

#22: “Healthy relationships require mutual respect, mutual trust, shared purpose, and mindful communication. Don’t ever let fear, loneliness, desperation or a perceived lack of options overlook disrespect, distrust, opposing goals and ineffective communication.” – Tarane

#23: “The success of a relationship is not measured by how long it lasts. If you are able to answer the following questions, then the relationship is/ was successful even if it ended: Did I learn about who I am? Did I face and overcome any of my fears? What is/was my source of power in this relationship Do/did we mutually respect and trust each other despite opposing goals?” – Tarane

#24: “Stop getting flattered by endless apologies and take note of repeated offenses by the same or different offenders. If you keep facing the same offenses (like lies, cheating etc.) by different offenders, then stop. Seek to understand and know yourself instead of getting the other person to understand you. Get to know why you keep finding the same challenges with different people. Stop defining commitment as taking someone back after their patterns have shown they are incapable of honesty, love, and respect. Losing someone should not be the prerequisite for noticing his/her value” – Tarane

#25: “Embrace the permanence of impermanence. Everything good or bad is temporary. Simplify, be kind with your words and actions, love and forgive yourself and stay on your white horse.” – Tarane

I’ve got so much for you guys in 2019 that I can’t wait to share 🙂 Thank you for being a part of this tribe. Wishing you all a New Year as incredible and beautiful as you are.

xx Natasha & Tarane

If you need further and more personalized help, please look into working with me here.


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Dearest Natasha and Tarane,

This is a true blessing to receive. I relate to all of it, it’s so beautifully written – truly succinct yet powerful words.
It reminds me so much of my own journey in life, of lessons learned, and how when negative things run on repeat, there’s something still in it for you to grasp.

I really am quite lost for words, it’s an incredible gem what you have both created here. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for it, and it’s a piece that will fill anyone up, in all the places they need it to. Powerful words. Words full of truth, words that promote self love and strong boundaries.

I can’t say anything else other than thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Blessed are those who read these words. Written with love and wrapped in compassion. Full of wisdom and self empowerment.

I love you both so much. Happy, happy,happy new year. Sending love, peace and everything wonderful to you two.

Namaste xxxxx


Hi Lorelle,
Happy New Year . Thank you for your kind acknowledgment and heartfelt comments. Your words here and in your previous blog posts delight me and touch my heart. I believe that we ail and heal in communities . I am so grateful to be a part of this tribe and a part of healing each other. To connect with like minded and like hearted incredible people like you is a Blessing and to be considered of service and value to you and anyone here is an honor and pleasure.
Looking forward to our continued collaboration.
Much love,


Thank YOU Lorelle! We love you too and feel the same way about you and the posts that you have written here on PMS. Truly 🙂

Love you so much soul sister. XX


This quote “You are not what happens to you. You are who you choose to become because of what happens to you” and the one that life is a sexually transmitted syndrome are my favorite from you and always keep them on mind. I’ve learned that it is true and try to always remember them! Love this post ?


Thank you so much Paola!! We are both so grateful for your love, support, and for being all that you are. Much love to you and your beautiful daughter who is the spitting image of her beautiful Mom 🙂

XOXO – Natasha & Tarane


Hi Paola
Glad you still remember my sayings lol.
Thank you for your kind comments. Love to you and Isabela.


The apple doesn’t fall far……

Just look at you two so radiant and beautiful! And it’s absolutely from the inside out, in addition to your natural physical beauty. Your mother is so elegant she looks like a true queen, and a kind and compassionate one at that. And one can tell from this photo you are so close and love each other so deeply. ? And that’s just the photo! Your words are so powerful and inspiring.

What a gift to have a mother who speaks such eloquent truth and lives it out in her own life! What a gift to have a daughter who soaked in all that truth over the years and changed the course of her life to help other women find their own identity, inner beauty and peace, and a an unf*ckable with strength and power!

This was the perfect start to a new year: the two of you speaking from the heart out of wisdom and experience. I usually feel so overwhelmed and repelled (and annoyed) by resolutions, but this was so motivating and refreshing. Thank you! I hope this year is a great one for you both!

P.s. Tarane, I love your name!


Dear KP,
Awww…you’re so sweet. Stop it, some more please. Lol
Thank you for your heartfelt comments, your kind acknowledgment , for liking my name and for making my day. You and other PMS readers are what lights up my heart and are the true gifts to Natasha and I . We had a lot of fun writing this together and are so happy that it spoke to you. I am so blessed to be able to connect with such wonderful PMS readers like you and to write with my daughter. I am looking forward to doing more with her and to connecting with this community in person soon.
May 2019 be filled with good healthy, joy and amazing relationship/s for you.
Thank you again.
With love,



Thank you 🙂 This brought me to tears. I feel the SAME WAY about resolutions and am so glad that you got out of it exactly what we wanted to give and provide <3 I love you so much KP. Thanks for being you xoxo


Incredible. Bookmarked.

Happy new year to both of you.


Glad you liked it. Happy New Year Dana.


🙂 !!! Happy New Year Dana! I hope that we can meet this year. You are so loved and appreciated. xx


Hi Natasha and Mama! Happy New Year to you both!!! I loved this so much! Every year I make a list of goals and accomplishments I want to obtain/achieve and I’m pleasantly surprised you did a lot of the work for me this year with your list. I couldn’t agree more with the things you said. Numbers 12 and 16 spoke to me the most. It’s a good reminder to continue to build trust within ourselves and follow our instincts as we navigate through the remaining time we have left. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. You both seem to know exactly what to say at the right time. Finding this blog was one of the best things to happen to me and reading content like this further affirms I was meant to grow and learn from incredible women like you. I hope you both have an incredible 2019. Much love.


Hi Spozhmai,
It takes an incredible woman to know another ?
So delighted that you found the post useful. Thank you for your heartfelt comments. Wishing you the very best of life in 2019 and beyond.


Happy New Year 🙂 So happy that the post helped!

We both love you very much <3 I am thankful every day for everything you have survived.

Maybe one less moment of it, and my life would have been so much less enriched without you in it. Love you. xx


What amazing quotes to live by in not only 2019 but always!!! Thank you for featuring your incredible mom on this post! She really hit it in with the trust your gut (#16)!!! Xo to both of you!!


Dear Desiree
So happy you liked the post. Thank you for your kind words.


Thanks Desiree! 🙂 I’m happy it helped! I am definitely going to have my Mom back on here more in 2019 🙂

Right back at you sister XOXOXO x a million. Thank you for being here.


Hi Natasha and Tarane, I’m filled with so much gratitude and love. This post is so powerful and so beautiful. I just want to say thank you once again to Natasha and to you Tarane. You have raised and nurtured a wonderful wonderful human being. Thank you both for holding our hands as we go through our own unique journeys and for holding up the mirror to show us who we all truly are. There’s not enough thanks in the world for me to give. I love you both❤️❤️❤️ And to everyone at PMS happy new year. We got this??


Hi Denise, Happy New Year to you and to all PMS readers.
Thank you for your heartfelt sentiments. You touched my ? heart. I share your feeling of gratitude. I am so very thankful to you and every one that has taken the time to comment, to those who just read the post and even to those who may not have liked it because we are all students of life on a journey of self-awareness and self-discovery. Our paths, hearts and journeys are interconnected. We learn from and heal each other whenever we share our stories and our museums!!
Thank you again for crossing my path.
Much love,
T ??


Happy New Year!

We love you too Denise and cannot wait to meet in person one day 🙂

You are never, ever alone. And YES… we got this and we have each other <3 ALWAYS. xox


Get it, got it, good!! Thank you again and again.


Thank you Bella.
You go girl!!


YAAAA Thank YOU, Bella 🙂 Happy New Year! XOX


Dearest Natasha and Tarane
You are two stunning women – I loved this post, and the clarity, humour, authenticity and pragmatism of your reflections. This is like a checklist for freedom !! – and something to check out in those moments when in all our glorious humanity we slip over into the dark side!!! I hope 2019 brings you all you wish for – you do wonderful work and your big hearts and clear voices are a gift for us all. Much love Helen xxxxxxx



Wow. I now want to retitle the post as ‘a checklist for freedom.” What a compliment – Thank you so much <3

Freedom from bs (and the peace that comes with it), is all we set out to give when writing this post. I'm so glad that it served you 🙂

Wishing you just as much love, joy, FREEDOM, and peace in this New Year and always. You are so loved, appreciated, and adored. XOX


Dearest Natasha and Tarane,

WOW and Thankyou❤…just everything I need to hear to start as I mean to go on in 2019. You are both SO inspiring and just thinking about this post helps me stand a little taller. I aspire to keep my metaphorical toilet spotless and flush regularly!
So much love and respect to you ladies ??

Lara xxx


Hi Lara,
Thank you for your comments. I think we PMS folks give a new meaning to “Tidy Bowl “….lol
Much love,


Y-E-S!! 🙂 I’m so happy that it helped! Love you Lara and wishing you nothing but what you deserve – THE BEST – this New Year and beyond.

Thank you for being here and thank you for existing. I really hope that we can meet in person one day soon. Big love to you sister. xoxo


Happy New Year to the tribe! Loved this wonderful post, Natasha and Tarane ❤️

Yes, yes, yes – been learning that’s is ALL about patterns. Observing and acting on the patterns of others, but also examining our own. My favorite words of wisdom recently: “Patterns happen when we’re living unconsciously. ” My new year’s intention is to shift into the ONLY pattern I ever want to be in: notice, heal, grow, transform – over and over again. I want to be become a master at filtering out the noise THROUGH self-awareness in order to better tune in to my inner voice/GPS/intuition/gut. It’s our GIFT that’s left unused so often we sometimes forget about it. That’s when the subconscious unhealthy patterns assume the reins. It’s like we’re replaying and re-enacting an old background track/movie that we never asked to star in to begin with. And yet, we continue to faithfully follow this false script. We listen to and allow ourselves to be passively led by fear, criticism, ego, and all sorts of other external/internal chatter when we’re already WIRED to know what we need to do, what feels good and right for us, and what will bring us into alignment with our character.

I love Tarane’s term “guiding trio” – we get so caught up in carrying out a reaction when we’re triggered that we miss it’s actually the feeling triggered itself that we should seize on. It’s also in these moments where I believe a lot of self-awareness and pattern-breaking can start to take shape. Instead of getting lost in our external/internal reactivity, we can ask ourselves why do I feel this way? Is it true? What am I afraid of? Do I have any external corroborating evidence? Where (or who) did THAT limiting/demeaning/abusive/straight-up crazy thought/comment/belief originally come from? None of this is easy or comfortable to put into practice of course but that just means we’re cultivating REAL change within ourselves. All those long-held fears or, as Natasha has put it – the “cynical audience” in your head, will be damned if you just suddenly stopped listening to them and taking their direction, so embrace the discomfort and uncertainty of change. After all, I doubt any of us truly want to be where we are right now in 10, 20, or 30 years. I used to (and in many ways still do) HATE change. But I’m realizing more and more that it’s nothing to fear or loathe. Change may be painful but it’s also necessary. It’s natural. It’s how we stop living in the past, how we shed old versions of ourselves, and how we ultimately get to our future selves. It’s LIVING. Love #25. We all have a present to catch up to and a future to get to! ?

Here’s to putting an end to self-perpetuated cycles of BS and living more consciously in 2019 and beyond!

Amy xx


omg CHEERS to that! (and YOU!) 🙂

Thank you so much Amy. You and these beautiful comments of yours always mean so much to me. Not only because your comments could be posts in an of themselves, but because they elevate the concepts and shine a light on how these feelings/experiences/patterns/relationsh*ts do not discriminate.

You help people heal – which is what I live for besides carrying out everything that I have learned from my Mom and my life. You just get it and you are incredible. Thank you for being here. I love that quote and if you don’t mind, I am going to make that my New Year’s intention too.

Love you forever my dear friend/sister on a soul level. XO


Hi Amy
Thank you for touching my guiding tri with your comments. Loved your comments. I agree with and love your intentional pattern of : heal, grow, transform – over and over again. I have found that simply noticing the noise and then focusing on the “NOW” is all it takes to live noise free.
Much love and Light to you,


Thank you for this. You both live in the light of my heart. So grateful that you both exist to lift us out of the BS.

When I read this, I could hear toilets flushing around the world. Who needs fireworks when we’ve got a whole community of empowered, boundari-ed, unfuckwithable people watching BS swirl down the commode, washing their hands, and taking on 2019 with our badass, survivor hearts forward?


LOL I love this and you 🙂 XOXOX


Dear Irina
Love your words and the image of a spotless commode. Thank you and looking forward to an amazing 2019 for all of us.


Happy New Year Natasha and Tarane.

What a beautiful a picture. It shows the true love you have for each other.

Thank you for these important words of wisdom. Every single one of them applies to me. I think back to all the relationships or the lack of relationships I spen so much time in. There were red and pink flags flying so high but yet I ignored the flags, my gut, the actions all to try and make the situation something it was not and never would be.

I know that I have become a better person for finding Natahasa and PMS and the added bonus of Tarane. The wisdom and knowledge encompasses by the generosity of sharing it all is priceless for me. I came here in pain, heart torn out and spirit broken. I healed here and I continue to do so. This came at a perfect time because I found myself regressing about him and missing hm and feeling everything all over again, I’m not sure why but reading this helped.
Thank you bot for this and giving me oxygen again. I love you both and wish you a very Happy New Year full of blessings and all great things. I look forward to reading more and becoming stronger.


Dearest Natasha and Tarane,

This piece is the guiding star for the new year. I echo the sentiments of my fellow PMS sisters and can’t thank you enough for the community you’ve created. Your kind honesty about yourself and your habits have been the mirror I had been searching for. True self love is getting real with yourself and it can be scary (probably the scariest thing a person will ever do but thee most rewarding ) but the work you’ve provided has made the journey more bearable. I can’t wait for what 2019 has in store for PMS and you, Natasha!

Love and light to you both!


I am in tears Brie. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for connecting with me/my work and affirming that I am not/was never alone. We always have each other <3

I'm so glad that this post served you as much as it did us as we wrote it 🙂 Happy New Year! Would love to give you a big, in-person hug in 2019 🙂 XOXO


You go girl!! ??
Much love,



Happy New Year Sister 🙂 Thank you so much <3 This post served me just as much - both writing it and reading my Mom's powerful words.

We have all been there. The best part is that you are never alone in this and through all the pain and bs, we found each other + countless men and women have been helped from you having the courage to share your story and truth.

I hope that you, me, and my Mom can meet this year. I love you endlessly. xox


I can hardly wait Natasha, it would be my honor. ??


Dear Linda,
Know what you mean about finding oxygen. BREATHE with every pore of your skin and love and forgive this breathing vessel, this body that you live in. Delighted to be s part of your healing journey and thank you for being a part of mine.


Tarane – I will remain forever grateful for the day you published your “Museum of Me” post. The morning I read it I was perilously close to falling off my white horse, and your words snapped me back into a sense of focused purpose. It also prompted my first comment on PMS. I love quote #24 – it summarizes the work I needed to do to feel better. Look forward to reading more of your contributions in 2019.


Hi Brandon,
Thank you for your heartfelt acknowledgment. I am utterly overjoyed to have been of value to you. I have been working with people and their museums for over 40 years and it is still an honor, a privilege and very humbling to be allowed to step into anyone’s museum. Thank you for taking me into yours and stepping into mine. A happy and healthy 2019 to you. May you and your white horse travel in peace and joy.
Much love,



I (and countless others) WILL forever remain grateful for your comments. They have personally healed me and inspired so much of my work and book.

Brandon, you have my heart, love, and gratitude forever. Looking forward to hopefully meeting this year! 🙂


Thank you both very much. Exactly what I needed to read today. Happy New Year!


I could relate to your sentence in the previous post ” This is the biggest single mind f*ck I have ever been thru”. YEP! I am post one year 8 months of him discarding me like trash and I still look back and think “WTF was that?” Nothing about it was normal. It’s not a typical story of someone not having the same feelings as you and it ends, this was a mind f*ck of hot and cold, of being pursued some days only to be ignored for weeks. I am having a difficult time even finding words to describe it. And I waited for a year ( I worked with him ) for any kind of apology or remorse. NOTHING.
It has been 3 months since I left that toxic situation behind, and I am slowly becoming indifferent. As time goes on I look back at him and his behavior and I feel a shudder go down my spine at the person he really is behind the mask. And I become grateful it’s in the rearview mirror.

I hope 2019 brings you peace, healing and clarity as well as indifference. Stay strong my friend. You really are not alone.
xox Christine


I love seeing this love & support. Love you both xoxo



Happy New Year to you too! 🙂

I absolutely love seeing you here and miss you every day. So happy that the post helped and looking so forward to meeting you this year!


Happy New Year Brady!!
Hope it’s the best year ever.


Ladies –
I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said by the tribe here. The only thing I can say is Thank you both for the words of wisdom and being a great big light for me personally as I learn to heal from the pain and loss that has overwhelmed me at times. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover my gratitude or respect for you both as you have opened up your hearts and shared your stories with us all so that we feel less alone in the world. I believe both of you have found your true calling. You have a gift for helping others out of their darkness and have created a place of solitude for so many of us that had nowhere else to turn or felt no one else would understand what we were feeling inside.

Natasha – you are like a best friend to me and even more a soul-sister who has helped me more than you will ever know. I carry your words with me always. You are such a incredible human being and I know how proud momma T. is of you. Both of you are beautiful from the inside out. I can’t wait to meet you both and give you the biggest hugs.

Tarane – thank you for Natasha… just THANK YOU. I wish you nothing but love and blessings through the year and I pray for your health.

With love and light …ALWAYS.


The pleasure/honor is all mine Vicki 🙂 My gratitude for you is endless, and I love you with all my heart.

I hope more than anything, that this year bring you, my Mom, me, Lorelle, and Linda physically together <3 So happy that you love this post (and us!) as much as we loved writing it (and as much as we truly love you).

You are forever the #whitehorsewarriors creator and always in my heart. Happy New Year to you my dear soul sister. XOXOX


This checklist is gold! Natasha, I can’t reiterate enough how grateful I am to have found this wonderful community this past year. Your words have touched so many and I can’t wait to see what you have in store with us for 2019, especially excited about your upcoming book! I started off 2019 fulfilling a resolution I never thought I would have the courage to do – flushing the emotional toilet and officially blocking my ex-fucktard on all social media platforms so now I feel truly free. I can honestly say I would not have been able to reach this point had I not found PMS – I would probably still be clutching desperately to my delusions about him, yearning for those mouldy breadcrumbs lol! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you and your wonderful mother, Tarane, a happy and healthy new year <3 xx


LOL molding bread crumbs! YEAAAAHH!!! Hazel, this made my day 🙂

Your happiness, freedom that a bs-free life is, success, and peace truly is mine. I am so happy to have helped in any way and glad that this post helped solidify it all for you. Thank you for being a part of this tribe. All my love to you soul sis. xx


This was such an engaging, beautifully-worded, inspiring, motivating and captivating post. I truly cannot express enough at how much of the right time this was posted, because I am sooo ready to give up all the situationsh*ts that are not worthy of my time nor attention in 2019. I want to become the best version of myself, and this is definitely something I’ll be referring back to on a regular basis for the inspo<3


Dasha! I am so happy it helped. We love you and I can’t wait to give you a big hug in person.

You got this – 2019 is YOUR year beautiful. Love you! XOX


Natasha and Tarane,

Reading this post was a perfect way to start the new year. Every quote was powerful, moving, beautifully written, and touched the soul. This post is one of my favorites.

Natasha, you are truly your mother’s daughter. You both are so beautiful, intelligent, regal, compassionate, strong, and inspiring. Thank you for starting the blog and all of your love, it truly saved me. I love you so much.

Tarane, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and for raising the most beautiful daughter inside and out. I only hope I can do half as well as you when God willing I have my own daughter someday. I love each and every quote and they truly lit my spirit on fire. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post, it’s absolutely incredible.

You are both in my prayers for a happy and healthy 2019 and beyond.



You are one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you. You have no idea how incredible of a Mother you will be one day and how lucky that baby girl will be.

Thank you for being born. You matter to me more than words could ever express. xox


You’re couldn’t be more right – people are ALWAYS showing you who they are. My ex had a winning personality. He was funny, intelligent, charming, interesting, outgoing, and downright magnetic. He had the ability to make everyone fall in love with him. And I fell hard. But I paid attention to my ex’s actions instead of his words, his character instead of his personality, I would’ve saved myself a whole lot of heartache. Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom <3


Hi Jen!

Yes, Exactly. Patterns always tell the truth. So happy that this post helped! 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to share and THANK YOU for being a part of this tribe. All my love to you sister. xoxx


I keep returning to this column Natasha. Even although you posted it at New Year it’s still what we should all be aspiring to. Thank you and Tarane for putting into words what I already know regarding taking someone back and looking for another ending. Someone who doesn’t want any commitment and is happy to drift in and out of my life when it suits him and he needs a fix. As a woman in my 60s I still feel there is a prince disguised as a frog just waiting to be kissed. Life is full of so many possibilities and after reading your posts you certainly bring self-confidence and worth into people’s lives. Thank you. Sheila


Hi Sheila!

We are so happy that this post helped 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to share and for being a part of this tribe. You are not alone. Big love to you.


Tarane & Natasha


Thank you for this post (and by extension, this gem of a website). You all have inspired me to change how I interact with myself and the world, for the better. I have known for a long time that I have low self esteem, don’t value myself, etc. but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why, or how to fix that. When I looked for answers, the best I could find was “well, you just need to value yourself!”, which sounded kind of vague and empty to me, and didn’t answer the question of HOW to learn my own value. It just made me more confused and frustrated to read that kind of advice. I needed to see ACTUAL examples of what it means to value yourself. I am so thankful for what I found here, since it finally makes sense to me. Thank you so much 🙂


Your happiness, success, confidence, and self-love is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. So happy and honored to help 🙂

Thank you for being a part of this tribe Ari. You are loved, supported, and never alone. xox

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