Ignoring an emotionally unavailable man can feel harder than having to ignore someone who is emotionally available. You’re more unhappy than you are happy and feel like you can’t move on after this breakup. You don’t know what to do because deep down, your gut knows that he isn’t right for you. It’s awful because you’ve seen him be so amazing. At times, you’ve seen him be everything that you want.
You are convinced that there must be something wrong with you that you need to work on because why else would this have happened? You may have heard from him since the breakup. You may have heard a ton of excuses and “this will never happen again.” But you know that you need to move on.
Is ignoring an emotionally unavailable man the only way to move on?
First, you need to understand that obsessing over and missing anyone who doesn’t recognize your worth is like crying because you took a crap and now you have to say goodbye to it and flush. That’s how ridiculous it is.
“He knows that he’ll never get better than me. He’s just going through a lot right now.” Really?
Do you know when a man realizes that he actually can’t do better? The moment you realize how much better YOU can do.
It’s when you translate through your actions that you are a person of action. It doesn’t matter how many talks you have with him or how many proverbial powerpoint presentations you put. Your actions are what people ultimately go by. He knows that he can get away with doing what he’s doing because you are always there. No matter how poorly you get treated.
The only way that you can move on, process your feelings and get your sanity back is by being real about who he is, who he’s been and who he will never be. This is a guy that no matter who he is with, will never change and be capable of emotional availability. Ignoring an emotionally unavailable man is the only way to go as long as you are going into no contact for your own emotional well-being and not as a vengeful tactician. The is no revenge that is more debilitating to an emotionally unavailable ex than your indifferent success.
Do not beat yourself up for all the chances you gave that were never earned. You kept giving him chances and making excuses because you were in a relationship that reflected the nonexistent one you had with yourself. You are on your way to repairing that now.
We attract people that mirror how we feel about ourselves. If you felt better about and were honest with yourself, there’s no way that you’d put up with this – no matter how much time you’ve invested.
Your ex knows the difference between right and wrong. And not only does he not care to change, but he makes you feel like there is something wrong with you that “causes” his disconnectivity and immaturity.
Emotionally unavailable men are all about themselves. You’re having trouble letting go because you want to be “The One.” You know you can’t fully “have” all of him, and there lies the “chemistry” and “passion.” Emotionally unavailable guys are so alluring because even when you “have” them, it never feels like you fully do.
Walk away, comment on here, talk to a trusted friend, write your feelings out and realize that ignoring an emotionally unavailable man is the only way to go when it comes to moving on.
The key to slaying your pain, obsession, and addiction lies in ceasing to argue with reality and working on having a healthy relationship with yourself first.
I am not asking you to start a smear campaign and buy a voodoo doll. What I am asking you to do is remember how he’s acted towards you, how he has consistently made you feel, and what that all means for the possibility of the relationship you know you deserve.
You have this one life that will pass by quicker than you could ever imagine. Don’t spend it chasing, destructively empathizing, and trying to understand someone to the point that you start feeling bad about you.
+ If you need further and more personalized help with your relationship, please look into working with me here.