It doesn’t matter how much potential you see. If your gut is telling you “I like him more than he likes me,” you have to address it or it will eat away at you. I used to always feel this way in romantic relationships, with friends, and even with some family members.
Instead of trying to figure out the degrees to which anyone is interested in and committed to you, listen to their patterns (which are made up of their actions), instead of their words (which your insecurities are wired to latch onto).
If you don’t ACT on how others treat you and make you feel, you will always end up reacting from a place of desperation.
When a guy is interested and into you… you will know. There will be no more “I like him more than he likes me” investigating.
If you feel like you are more interested in him than he is in you, it’s probably because you are. And that’s okay. What isn’t okay is being with someone who won’t communicate, is totally fine with wasting your time, and is comfortable reaping all the benefits of being in a relationship with you, without any effort and limited interest on his end.
For me, it got to the point where if I felt very interested in a guy, that literally meant that he wasn’t interested in me. When I began to get real about other people’s behavior and made the decision to let them own their own (just as I had begun to own my own), I got to the point where I am now: I’m only interested in people who are interested in me. This isn’t about wanting to be around “yes!” people. It’s about not wanting to have to work so hard to be noticed, loved, respected, and communicated with.
And the people who aren’t so interested in me? That’s okay too. It no longer activates this internal alarm that I have to immediately start my validation seeking cabaret show and “get them to like me.”
The only thing that will allow you to stay in a relationship where you have to always fight and work to be given a scrap of time, attention, respect, and honesty is fear. It is the fear of not being enough. This goes back to the trauma associated with rejection, abandonment and having a need to be chosen in your childhood.
A decent guy that is not interested in you, won’t use you up and throw you out. He will have enough respect for you (and himself) to see that there is a difference between what you want and what he wants.
And he will be able to communicate that clearly to you.
When you start getting interested in yourself and loving and respecting who you are, you’ll take someone’s disinterest in you much less personally. You’ll realize that it’s never personal. It’s about them.
Commit to being about you and just SEE how your life changes for the better. You deserve it.
+ If you need further and more personalized help with your relationship, please look into working with me here.