I’ve been avoiding having to write about how to stop stalking your ex, but I’ve gotten so many requests to write about it, I had to. So here I am, finally doing it.

Why didn’t I want to write about how to stop stalking your ex?

Because my answer to the “how to stop stalking your ex” question, is the most seemingly a*s backwards, insane and completely opposite-of-everything-that’s-out-there advice… but what’s new?

If you Google “how to stop stalking your ex,” here are a few things that immediately come up…

  • Delete/unfriend/block him.
  • Ask your friends for some tough love.
  • Implement a “stalk jar.”
  • Stay busy.
  • Instead of stalking your ex, stalk a celebrity.
  • Find a habit to replace the stalking.
  • Get out there and start dating! Get back in the game!

Umm…. yeah. Let’s go through this one-by-one.

Delete, unfriend or block him? Good advice but needs to be more specific considering that this is nearly impossible post-breakup.

Ask your friends for some tough love? Your friends are in your life to be your FRIENDS; your partners in crime. They’re not there to be your mommy, daddy or the moral police when you’ve sh*t your emotional shorts or broken some breakup “law.” This sets the friendship up for resentment, deceit down the line, an uneven playing field and just isn’t worth it.

Implement a “stalk jar” (??!!). I’m not sure wtf a “stalk jar” is specifically, but I’m assuming it’s the same thing as a swear jar? My advice: Please don’t. You may feel emotionally helpless, but you’re not a baby. You don’t need to implement tangible punishment that’s meant for children, so that you can translate to yourself and the universe that you need to be treated as such.

Stay busy? IMPOSSIBLE. I don’t care if you’ve got the busiest schedule known to man. If your brain is set to “must stalk ex” mode, trust me when I say that you’ll find the time to cyberstalk. You could have have every minute in your day accounted for, but as long as your not emotionally busy, there’s no point in trying to get physically busier. You’ll just end up feeling worse and creating dis-ease within your body.

Instead of stalking your ex, stalk a celebrity? .. Why? So you can feel even more unattractive, unworthy, out of shape and depressed? I’ll pass.

Find a habit to replace the stalking? I would advise against this because when you’re in a compromised emotional state, you’re most likely not going to find a constructive habit to replace a destructive one (stalking). Why set yourself up for further destruction and failure?

Get out there and start dating! Get back in the game! No. HOW? That’s the last thing you need right now. And even if you’ve tried it or want to try dating, until you heal and deal, you’re only going to meet highlighters (people that highlight the absence of your ex), not erasers.

Whether you’ve just broken up or it’s been a while, stalking an ex on social media or in person has devastating effects. You may want to stop, but no matter what ultimatums you give yourself… there you are once again, 2173182736 times a day stalking your ex – his friends, his family and his new girlfriend, her dog (+ every girl he follows). It’s a full-time job in and of itself.

As time passes, you see your ex and all of these people that you don’t even know, moving on with their lives while you’re on your last emotional leg, zooming in on screenshots and feeling more used, forgotten, rejected, pathetic and abandoned than ever before.

You know it’s time for a social media/Insta-vention, but you don’t even know where to begin. You don’t know how to stop stalking your ex. You’re not only obsessing over his social media (and everyone he follows), but you’ve become hyper-ocd-paranoid about yours. You second guess everything and are in an emotional quicksand nightmare.

Here’s how to stop stalking your ex, put an end to the control it has over you & start living your life now

(a life that you’re proud to call YOUR OWN; not a depressing existence dedicated to getting a PhD in “the musings of a f*cktard”)

Before we even get into how to stop stalking your ex, it’s important to know WHY you’re doing it in the first place.

When you realize the exact reason why you’re engaging in a habit, that realization immediately disempowers the influence and power that the habit has over you.

Even today, I’ll sometimes find myself emotionally bored and looking through photos of families that I don’t even know and exes that I truly am indifferent to. The difference between that and how I used to be, is that I’ll do it maybe once or twice a year and within a few seconds, I’m logged off and uninterested (as opposed to diving into the deep obsession and emotional investments I used to make).

The first thing you need to understand is that the desire keep tabs is a normal human reaction (especially if you have low self esteem), and it’s okay.

How to stop stalking your ex? Know why you’re doing it in the first place.

Here are the only 3 reasons why you social media stalk your ex:

  1. Because you can. Since no one really knows that you’re cyber creeping, the freedom (entitlement) that you feel to do so is maximized while consequences are minimized (who’s ever going to find out?). Jackpot.
  2. You’re Pain Shopping. You were so hurt, controlled, mind f*cked and betrayed in the relationsh*t, you’re more comfortable being in a state of pain than you are making the scary effort to move forward (and potentially FAIL at yet ANOTHER thing). The only difference is that by cyberstalking, you can essentially control the pain that’s inflicted upon you (because you’re inflicting it). Yes, your pain is dependent upon what your ex likes and posts, BUT you get to control the exposure. It’s all about inflicting, controlling and re-inflicting pain. This dynamic is not only familiar, it’s all you know. You went from the uncontrollable mind f*ckery that was having your ex inflict emotional pain upon you, to now giving yourself that very same pain in controlled doses.
  3. Connection. It’s the last little connection that you have to your ex. EVERY time you log on, you’re looking for one of 2 things: 1) You’re looking for any sign that he’s just as lonely, miserable and depressed as you are (so that you can run with that little bit of hope and remain invested. 2) You’re looking for any information possible to affirm that he’s moved on, happy and a better guy in a better relationship (so that you have a license to remain stagnant, invested; continue to feel badly about yourself, never think you’re good enough, obsess more about the superficial… and eventually settle for another f*cktard down the road).

My advice on how to stop stalking your ex? Don’t.

That’s right. You don’t have to stop.

TOLD YOU my advice was a little different.

If you’re doing anything like driving by his place, showing up at his work, calling him and hanging up, making up fake social media profiles and following him and/or his friends (been there, done ALL that)… if you’re doing anything in which you could potentially get caught and get into legal trouble… please STOP.

You’re not that pathetic and no one is THAT irreplaceable, valuable or special that you need to jeopardize your reputation and livelihood to such an irreparably damaging extent

If you’re checking your ex’s WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc., every minute and can’t stop won’t stop, there’s no point in forcing yourself to quit. Seriously.

Trying to cold turkey stop and placing ultimatums on yourself is only going to make you feel much worse. Just like with strict dieting – because you believe deep down that you’re “depriving” yourself, the desire to satiate is going to be even stronger; even more desperate. Why is this bad? It’s bad because you’re human, which means you’ll eventually give in and when you do, it will be 10 times more intense, painful (and potentially humiliating), because you’ll be “making up” for the starvation/deprivation that your “dieting” has incurred.

If you want to dedicate your life to checking up on someone else’s, have at it.

All I ask are 3 things before you do so (things that will eventually lead to answering the “how to stop stalking your ex,” question):

  1. Dead & Gone. 

    When you’re looking at photos of your ex, realize that it’s okay to feel sad and cry as long as you’re mourning the death of the person that you thought existed. I’m not asking you to believe that the sun sets in the morning, I’m asking you to stop arguing with reality and accept that the person you thought existed is dead and gone. Look at your ex’s photos and understand that this is SOCIAL MEDIA. No one (including you), is going to post themselves swimming in the ocean of misery. If your ex posts photos about how happy he is or chronicles a big change; something out of the ordinary, that just means he’s fishing. The more he uses an abundance of exclamation marks or posts admirable/inspirational quotes, the more he’s looking for a reaction from not just you, but from everyone. This means that he’s JUST as validation hungry as you are because remember – we attract what we exude. Look at those photos and mourn. It’s okay to cry. Mourn the death of the person that you thought existed. If he’s already posting photos, in a new relationship, etc., you can bet that he hasn’t changed. The only person that’s truly changed is YOU. You’re no longer willing to have an emotional jerk off session with your own projections. Don’t provide ANY kind of reaction or opposing force. You can’t claim to want to be “the one that got away,” while single-handedly sabotaging that campaign by ACTING like a psycho. It’s OKAY to look at stalk photos as long as you’re MOURNING a DEATH. You WILL eventually get tired of it. I know it hurts… but you’re not alone.

  2. Wet Bathing Suits are GROSS. 

    If you’re driving yourself up a wall, stalking the every social media move of his new girl, I want you to think about this: Imaging you got a beautiful bathing suit and you put it on. You never quite felt comfortable or totally beautiful in it and it wasn’t constructed that well, but it grew on you and you loved it. You wore it proudly the entire day – in the ocean, playing beach volleyball, in the pool, on the sand, on a boat, back in the pool, when you peed in the ocean, etc. You finally get home, still wearing it and the bathing suit is dirty and still damp. It’s got ocean water, chorine, sweat and SPF all mixed in. You feel gross from being in it all day, so you immediately take it off, hang it up on your shower rod and take a long shower to clean off. WHILE you’re showing however, a new girl comes into your bathroom and PUTS ON (so gross), your wet bathing suit that you’ve been swimming in, sweating in, peeing in (who hasn’t peed in the ocean?) and running around all day in. She may look way better than you did in the bathing suit; she may be able to fill it out in all the right areas and make it look sexier and more expensive and valuable than you ever did but… it’s your WET, USED & DIRTY bathing suit that she’s wearing. When you social media stalk the new girl, have some empathy and be kind. Don’t hate on her. She’s wearing your wet bathing suit and has no idea how dirty it is. She just thinks it was wet because it came fresh out of the washer. Yikes.

  3. Use the success, happiness and resiliency that your ex portrays on social media, to propel you into your OWN. For REAL. The kind of success that you won’t need to announce because it will be known. LIVE those inspirational quotes instead of posting them. Leave the posting to your ex (and the people he associates with).

    If you’re going to pain shop, at least use the pain that you acquire to motivate you into badassness. Some of my greatest work has come from rolling in the proverbial mud with the pigs, choosing NOT to react for instant gratification and making the decision to ACT on those painful observations. The ABSOLUTE BEST revenge is a successful and private life, well lived. Trust me.

    Instead of sticking your head in the toilet and then crying because you smell, get to the point where you’re so dirty, you’re finally ready to flush the sh*t & (at last!) take a shower. Stop being scared to flush and wash yourself off because you’ve convinced yourself the sh*t is the last token you have of a meal you once enjoyed.

Go MIA on social media for a while. It’s okay, I promise the sky won’t fall. USE the dysfunction that you see on social media to propel you out of your own. Feel free to unfollow whoever you don’t want to follow because it’s YOUR profile. If anyone wants to interpret your unfollowings, so be it. You’re no longer playing that game.

Since when did recognizing yourself, your needs and your pain in a healthy manner become a bad thing that you should feel guilt for?

Figuring out how to stop stalking your ex is something that doesn’t really need to be “figured out.” Every time you stalk, you’re taking a huge deposit out of an already negative self esteem bank account, but guess what?… YOU are doing it this time, not your ex.

You have the power to stop just as easily as you have the power to magically make time in your busy schedule to snoop. You’re clearly getting something out of the stalking or you wouldn’t be doing it.

Why not work toward getting a LIFE, a life beyond your wildest dreams, due to the motivation that the stalking provided for you to (finally) get off your emotional a*s?

I’ve been super busy lately with writing my book, traveling for work + a few projects that I cannot wait to share with you all! I’m back in action now with all new posts for you, all week 🙂

– Natasha x

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Natasha, the wet bathing suit analogy has helped me more than 7 months of therapy 😂🙌🏼👙 Thank you for sharing your pain and your gift with this world. Your words speak to my soul. Please keep writing! I am so excited for your book and for all that’s to come 😊💃🏻


Yeeeeesssss same here girl


Blown away. You are a queen. Thank you for healing my heart and even making me laugh amidst all of this heartbreak. Your friends are the luckiest people just to know you Natasha 🦄


This message couldn’t have better timing! I’ve been doing a stalk-a-thon of my ex’s new girlfriend and driving myself nuts…what do they possibly have in common, why isn’t he wallowing like me, how was I replaced so easily,does he really like girls that take sexy selfies on the daily, is she better, prettier, younger than me? She’s everything he condemed me for x 10 and I’m trying to make sense of it. It’s taking any bit of self confidence I have left and throwing it out the window. The part that is insane is I’m doing it to myself!! Our relationship wasn’t bad – it just wasn’t a fit and I was extremely sad but kinda relieved it ended. Now that I see he’s seriously dating (I believe he set this up before we broke up) I’m feeling sick about it. I have incessant thoughts about them together and it’s maddening. Everyone says block him…let it go. I rationally understand this and I’m sure it’s advice I’d say to someone else. But my mind is not getting the memo. Reading your posts helps me feel like I haven’t gone off the deep end and I’m not alone. Thank you for making me feel “normal”. Xo


I’m happy it helped! 🙂 You are so far from alone Michelle. You are loved, supported, backed and believed in beyond words. Keep coming back here to the blog. All my love to you soul sis xo


Love the quote ” you are doing it to yourself” it’s funny how you don’t see it that way when your immersed in this behaviour! And I always wondered why I walked away feeling so bad but then wanted to look again later?? Thanks so much Natasha ..


I totally understand what you are saying, Terri. You feel bad, but you keep going back for more. As Natasha said, we are pain shopping and getting some validation from it. It’s amazing that we can see it’s not helpful but still the mind goes there. Even now I’m thinking I’m wallowing and online looking for ways to heal but my ex is waking up with his new girlfriend and making plans for a fun day. I have to remember she can wear my gross, dirty wet bathing suit! Ha


YES! Loving the sisterhood XO


Exactly! Thanks Terri!! 🙂 XOXO


Once again spot on Natasha. I’d come home from a night out with the girls on a Friday night feeling sorry for myself and not worthy for anyone ( not bc of my loving and supportive gf’s, but rather I’d only go out with gf’s and have no one to cuddle at home) and since I felt like s*it, why not solidify it by checking up on him. Down I’d go. And hard. Looking up who he’s involved with, judging her, hating her, crying all my mascara off. The pain was self induced and although I have very low self esteem, I think I “checked up” on him and her one too many times. Somehow I decided that even with low self esteem and not worthy of him, me doing this has to stop. And I stopped it. I still think he’s “living the life and happy with her” I can’t keep doing this to myself.
Have a long road to go but giving that up helps.
Thanks Natasha


Love you sister! Happy it helped 🙂 xx


This is so good my friend!


Ahhh thank you Wyatt! Thinking of you often!


Natasha! It’s like you are a mind reader. I’m a couple of months into a post relationsh*t break up with someone I have to work with.
I can’t escape him, just when my mind is free he walks through the door and a flood of memories come back which render me a useless blubbering, make up ruined wreck. He never really explained why our 18 month realationshop suddenly ended after stringing me along with false promises, pretences and it’s been really hard to get over.
I thought I was healing and getting better but he’s taken a few days off work and my paranoid brain is imagining all kinds of scenarios where he is away with someone new. I’ve been cyber stalking ex girlfriends, friends, friends of friends. I felt so small and pathetic until I read this post! I am back on the wagon!!!! Love the swimsuit metaphor. If I find out he is away with someone, I will just shake my head and feel sorry for her and relieved I am free. I look back at his ex girlfriends and realise he did the same to them, how could I have been so blind?!
Thank you for lifting the fog once again ! Xxxxxx


Yayyyyy! This makes me so happy to hear; I’m glad it helped 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to share. You are loved, believed in and never alone. XOXO


Good advice! Thank you for taking a break on your busy schedule to write this.

Stay blessed,



Thank YOU for the love and support Ricki! 🙂 XO


Trust me when I say that I have received plenty of advice about relationsh*ts, exes, breakups, etc., and NONE of it compares to yours. I can’t thank you enough for slapping me in the face with your words of wisdom and waking me the f*ck up from that nightmare. If I never would’ve found your blog, I wouldn’t have recovered as much as I have since the ex and I split. You’ve reminded me what’s most important, and that is self love. Always looking forward to your posts, and cannot wait for your book! Take care Natasha. xx


Christina, you’re going to make me cry! It was and is my pleasure. Thank you for the love, sisterhood & support! 🙂 xo


At the end of the day, no one is worth a felony or misdemeanor!


YAAAA exactly xx


I can only speak for myself but if I put as much determination into moving on with my life as I did with stalking Facebook, I would have been over him a year ago!

Natasha is 100% right, I’m upset over a guy that once was. Now he is with her & I get woken up at 4:30 (just like now) with him drunk telling me he loves me. Oh & I work with the s*shoke as well, so I can’t block him.

He left me. He moved on & I am starting to accept it’s over & I need to mourn the life I wanted & stop looking at a life I’m no longer a part of. All it does is piss me off & I start the “he rather be with someone like her than me.” I’m doing it to myself….he let me go but I’m choosing now to hang on & for what?

Now I’m awake & that as*hat is passed out with her in bed! Even though it’s bad & I do believe in karma, I want him to hurt just a little & see what it’s like to love so much, it hurts!!! But I will continue to fight to moving on battle & now that I’ve super glued my ass to my white horse…..I’m going to do my best to continue to move forward.

Good luck with your struggles sisters & as always Matasha thanks …. xoxo


Ok, apparently I can’t spell at 4 in the morning…




Meredith – If I would have put as much determination into moving on with my life as I have stalking on ALL facets of social media, I’d be on the cover of Forbes right now! I’m dying laughing; I love that you’ve super glued your ass to the white horse lol! Proud of you sister! 🙂 XOXO


You’re the best! ~xoxo


Ditto! 🙂 XO


Hey Natasha, thank you for another great article!!
Every time I read anything you’ve written I completely realise that every word you’ve written is right but it’s just so difficult to act on 🙁

My ex is pretty much off social media and I just can’t help stalking his new gf on social media, they’re not openly together and it upsets me every single time I do stalk but I just feel like I need to know if she ever makes it public that they’re together so that I’ll know if they’re serious about having a future together. It’s been over a year and I cant let go of the hurt and humiliation he caused me. I bumped into him recently and he gave me a half arsed apology but The fact of the matter is rather than being open with me he blocked my number and completely acted like I don’t exist.

I just want to forget him and move on but part of me wants him to see me and realise that I care for him more than I ever have about anyone. The way he ended it was just so humiliating, I would’ve done anything for him and he was happy to act like we’d never even met.

I don’t want to stalk his girlfriend, she hasn’t done anything to me but I just can’t seem to stop


Hi Helen! Thank you so much 🙂 I know it’s hard. Keep coming back to the blog and just know that you’re loved, supported, backed and believed in. xxxx


Agreed! Love you, Natasha! You have helped me soooo much.


Thanks Avianne! 🙂 Love you too sister!! XO



I have been divorced for 3 years after a failed 17 year marriage. On top of a failed marriage and constant turmoil and rejection from my children due to their dad’s narcissistic behavior, I have found myself in several relationships with these unavailable men- while looking for validation and to heal my wounds and poor self esteem. I pride myself in being successful career wise and financially but my relationships have been so toxic. I am recently out of a 1.5 year relationship with an addict that I thought (stupidly) that I could “fix”. I am still struggling to get past this one… while knowing he is toxic for me and trying to understand myself and why it is so hard to let go.

In the past 3 years I have done therapy, read all the self help books I could get my hands on and I have to say that finding your blog has been an immense blessing. The way you write and analogies really put things into perspective- (one of the first things I read was about how when you are so hungry that even an old stale half eaten twinkie is perceived as the best thing ever…. ) I was so low and thought love/ sex from an addict who lied, cheated etc was fulfilling and wonderful. After a failed marriage, I wanted to make this relationship work and seemed willing to be blind to the reality of who he is and took his behaviors personally.

At age 43, I still have a lot of healing to do to come to terms with the “losses” I have experienced and to learn how not to repeat the same patterns which inevitably give the same results.

Please keep writing- I read your blogs over and over. They give me comfort that I am not “crazy” or alone. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I can’t wait for your book. You are an inspiration.



It takes one to know one – you are an inspiration Annette! Thank you for sharing and for your love, sisterhood and support. I’m so happy that the posts have helped! 🙂 All my love to you soul sister. xo


Thank you for posting this, I have just started going down the stalking drain again. Even though I know that their relationship has an expiration date (she doesn’t have a visa 🙄) I still can’t help checking to see if they have already broken up or if anything has changed. The wet bathing suit analogy helps as well as trying to remember to mourn the man I thought he was.


Happy it helped 🙂 Thanks Lily! You’re not alone. XOXO


Yassssss! Wet Bathing Suits are GROSS!!! I love it. Brilliant as always Natasha.


Happy it helped! 🙂 Thanks Mika!! XOXO


Natasha, this is a timely life-saver to have found your blog. I am at the “How to Deal With Rejection” phase, and before reading it, I felt so low that I could walk under a snake’s belly. After reading it; re-reading it; going off to ponder it and re-reading it again, I have to tell you that I feel better than I have felt in a loooooong time. You ARE a Healer. Your words ring so true, and immediately speak to me– I just re-read them to help them settle deep into my cranium! “Thank You” feels lame, in light of the stress you have removed from my life. And by the way, I am in my 60’s…. so it is Never Too Late, thanks to You♥


You’ve got me in tears over here Jen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’re right – it’s NEVER too late. I talk to so many women in their sixties, seventies and one that was 82 years old last week. Unfortunately, these experiences do not discriminate against wisdom or age. You are loved, adored and supported. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. All my love to you soul sister! XO


I’m the happiest soul since I found this blog. Last Friday I stayed home, put on some Christmas lights and ate crackers and cheese while reading and writing in order to accept and empower my feelings and thoughts. I think I typed something about “ex” on google and then your blog showed up. I spent in my balcony 3 hours going through everything, reading it over and over again and truly I felt like I was the reincarnation of you in a present life. Or you were me in a past one? I’ve no idea, all I know is that night changed it all. I’m here waiting anxiously for every new post and instead of stalking my ex anymore I am stalking you on snapchat! Natasha I can’t thank you enough for writing this blog and making us feel understood and empowered. I am sharing it with my sister who has been going through a bad breakup for two years and I’ve been trying to recover from a breakup for five months.
I can’t lie, I miss him but is more the idea of the relationship that I made in my mind.

In the meantime, I will enjoy this stage and grow up, embrace it and share this amazing blog with other sisters in need. I’m grateful for your life and your experiences.


I am speechless Fio! Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙂 I’m honored to have played a small part in your healing and realizations. Sending you lots of love, positivity and support soul sister. You’re not alone. XO


Hi Natasha. I really thank you because every time I need help I come to your blog and find the support I exactly need. Today was a terrible one. I’ve been struggling with the post-breakup sh*t for 8 months now. And about a month ago I started missing mi ex so much more than I did before….and telling myself that it was strictly for a small amount of reality I opened his fb today. Wish I didn’t. I saw this post from two days ago of him and his new girlfriend in another state living a fabulous trip. He always told me that he hated traveling (and didn’t want to travel with me) and now he visits a new place every weekend, also there are lovely titles for the photos like “at zacatecas with THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”. I could literally felt my heart breaking again (I thought there was nothing else to break but I was wrong). Love of his life after 6 months or so? And what was I then for him? (No matter if he told me the same bullsh*t to me right before we moved in together, I assume it is true for her and was a lie for me).

So now for the purpose of this comment. Your post gave me strength and inspired me to make this self commitment: I will work hard to get the life I want for myself. To achieve everything I want. It may seem that at this point that I’m alone, broke and that constantly hurt my loved ones (who see me in such a sad state). But I will get past this phase and become a better person. 🙂 I also promise to come back and comment this same post once I achieve it. So I can see how I won and this sadness seems irrelevant in the future. And maybe to give extra hope to carry on for a person who is at the point I’m right now. 🙂


We’ve got a DEAL Laura! I’ll be waiting for that comment 🙂 I love, believe in and support you, as does this tribe. Thank you for sharing and for being the light that you are. XOXO


Oh Natasha, I just love your blog haha! I want to delete my ex (and ex best friend) SO badly. It just seems so final…and I don’t want to look immature. AND I don’t want to hurt their feelings. How nuts is that? I’m worried about protecting the feelings of two people that have zero respect or love for me. I’ve even contemplated just deleting my facebook so I don’t have to be the bad guy and do it first. *Facepalm* Anyways, this article is great and the wet swimsuit analogy is genius. Please keep writing!


Thanks Adrienne! You made my day 🙂 I know how you feel because I used to be the exact same way. Read my posts on people pleasing, they will help. XOXO


Natasha, after dealing with on again off again boyfreind,your blog put me back on truck. I always appreciate it. There is a question that does he thinks and feels about me and my new boyfreind as a dirty baths suit ???
By the way,I recommend your blog to many people all over the world.. xoxo


Thank you so much Gem! That means the world to me 🙂 I don’t know the whole story and can’t give advice in the comments, so it’s hard to me to answer you sufficiently. Thank you so much for your understanding, love, sisterhood & support. XOXO


Your website has practically saved me in a jungle of awful online advice a I always come here and feel like this is emotional sanctuary following the relationshit I escaped last year – it’s almost 3 in the morning UK time and I was up worrying after bumping into narcissistic ex and new happy unaware girlfriend who moved in with him within five minutes of out breakup and this has stopped me going into a major decline again following the breakup and realise I am just hurting not insane! Just working on being my own white knight – love your work – thank you thank you thank you 👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻


Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart Carly. Thank you for being a part of this tribe and thank you for being YOU.

You are loved, understood, supported, believed in, backed and NEVER, ever alone. xx


Mannnnnnnnnnnnn the example of the bathing suit…… Ohhhhh myyyyyyyyy…… Please Natasha…… I love you….. You are mind blowing……. You deserve A standing ovation


LOL! Thanks babe. I love you too !! x


Dear Natasha
I just wanted to take some time out and thank you for your work. In a world where we are constantly being told to “stay positive “get over it” and my favorite “there are other fish in the sea”, your blog is the ONLY place where I can go to feel understood.

We are so quick to dismiss how taxing a break up can be- I am going through my second break up in the past two years and I feel like I can barely function. I begin to feel a bit better and then my ex boyfriend will post an instagram story and I am back to square one (I can’t stop looking though). Hopefully in time I will heal and deal as you say.

Thank you for making me feel less alone, I wish you all the best in your career! You will do great things.


Hi Andrea! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🙂 I can’t put into words how much you, your support, sisterhood and comment mean to me. You WILL get through this – you’re not alone. All my love to you soul sis. x

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