If you’ve gotten to the point where you’re wondering desperate to figure out how to stop being insecure in your relationships, it’s probably because on some level, you can see that your insecurities are ruining your life.

{This is part 1 of a 2-part series that I’m writing on insecurity. This first post is about to how to stop being insecure in your relationships and the next post will cover how to stop being insecure with yourself – your looks, your life, your beliefs, etc.}

I’ve been insecure my entire life. I’m human and of course there are times where I find myself feeling insecure, but I’m now able to put down the insecurity joint when it suddenly appears in my possession. I don’t remember one time in my childhood where I ever felt confident, accepted or like I was worthy of fitting in. I never felt secure. If the lack of confidence wasn’t already enough, I had crippling anxiety (and would sweat and shake profusely), due to the uncertainty that I always felt about myself, my relationships (especially the one I had with myself), and my life in general.

When I faced problems in my relationships, I never knew if it was me or if it was the other person that was in the wrong, but I always ended up blaming myself. I had no clue how to stop being insecure and put an end to the sh*tty luck, relationsh*ts and the lack-luster, sub-par groundhog-day that my life was.

How did I finally figure out how to stop being insecure in my relationships? 

Get ready for an “aha!” moment orgy…

♡ WHAT I’VE LEARNED ♡

I’ve felt insecure in every.single.one of my relationships. Even today in my relationship, I’ll feel insecure at times (it’s totally normal), but here’s the difference:

My insecurities are now fleeting instead of crippling because my relationship proves the insecurities wrong.

Today, if I find myself feeling insecure in my relationship, it’s because of ME and I can own that. I can work with it, feel safe to express it, learn and move on from it.

Your insecurities are indeed powerful, but remember that they don’t have the power to make guys lie to you, cheat on you and disrespect you. 

YES, my insecurities totally affected and destroyed many of my relationships but they didn’t MAKE anyone do anything immoral.

I truly thought that if I met the right guy,  all my insecurities would cease to exist.

When you think and operate like this, it does nothing but set you up for attracting and being attracted to people that reflect your insecurities. This is why I always say that the relationships that we have reflect the relationship that we have with ourselves.

If you’re insecure with your self, you’ll always be insecure in your relationships.

When you have confidence and feel security within yourself, your self esteem will be in tact. You’ll always feel safe and secure because you’ll be complete, instead of some needy pariah that looks like the main character in “The Missing Piece.” (one of my fav boots BTW)

HOW TO STOP BEING INSECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Ditch the Jerry Maguire “you complete me,” mantra and first get to a place where you feel complete, INDEPENDENT of a relationship. You’ll be attractive and sexy AF to the RIGHT guys.

Stop equating once-in-a-lifetime passion, love, butterflies, etc., with feeling insecure. Stop romanticizing insecurity. It’s not cute or healthy. You’re not Carrie, he’s not Mr. Big.

Understand that sometimes, it’s totally okay to feel insecure and that there is something that you can do about it.

If you’ve been consistently lied, if you’ve repeatedly forgiven and still keep getting hurt, If you keep sleeping with him after he continues to text his ex…again, etc… Yeah! I’d be insecure too.

The only difference is that now my insecurity being triggered would motivate me to communicate and if nothing could be accomplished after that or if I was made to feel guilty for expressing my insecurities, I would speak with my actions and let my absence do the talking.

+ Next, I’ll have a part 2 up on how to stop being insecure with yourself

x Natasha

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5 comments

Reply

I needed this! Thank you as always Natasha

Reply

🙂 xoxo

Reply

Soo true, and sooo good to hear! I needed to hear this! XOXO

Reply

Yes! Thank you Natasha. This gave me several “a-ha” moments and I feel like every time I read your posts I learn something new about myself and ways to heal and grow. Please write a book! xoxo

Reply

Thanks Catherine 🙂 xo

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