Have you hit a point in your life where you know that you need to make a change; you’re taking the steps that you think are necessary toward making a change, but you somehow always end up with the same results (& diminished respect for yourself as a result of failing AGAIN)? Is it time for a reinvention? Figuring out how to reinvent yourself is something that most people like the idea of, but have trouble executing.
Because as humans, we like to complicate things and thus get intimidated. We then cope with that intimidation by degrading our own instinctual mentality; convincing ourselves that reinvention can only come at the acquisition of material, cosmetic or f*cktard gains. We then became someone who we have a lack of respect for; that wanders around this world flying by the seat of her emotional pants, looking for something and someone to “complete” her.
This is why for so much of my life, I was convinced that if I looked a certain way (which led to perfectionism), bought that designer whatever, drove that car, copied that celebrity’s style, was bffs with THAT girl, dated THAT guy, it would somehow catapult me into everlasting reinvention.
It never did. I just ended up feeling worse, being even more insecure, paranoid, self conscious, abandoned, lonely and ultimately, a magnet for f*cktards. If you’re wondering how to reinvent yourself, commit to keeping that inquisition alive for the next few minutes before your self-sabotaging, low self esteem tries to intimidate you by complicating something that is in actuality, very simple. Choose to not engage in the fear mongering of your fears and negative beliefs.
Here’s how to reinvent yourself & reclaim happiness, gratitude & the joy of being in 5 simple steps…
I’ve noticed that there are certain habits and patterns in what makes people succeed vs. fail; what makes them hopeful vs. hopeless and what patterns dictate leading an extraordinary and fulfilling life vs. a lackluster existence of depression, validation seeking and mediocrity.
How to reinvent yourself:
The quality of your life will always be in direct correlation with your Admissions Policy.
If you want the quality of your life to exponentially increase, make the decision to take back that pen you’ve willingly handed over and rewrite (or implement) YOUR admissions policy. One of my favorite quotes: “Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bentley don’t have commercials? Reason: they know the value of their product brings customers to them. Lesson: when you know your value, you don’t have to beg people to like you, to be your mate, to spend time with you or to love you. Be confident in who you are. Not everyone can afford the luxury of your friendship.” If everyone could get into Stanford, it wouldn’t be such an accomplishment to get in. Stanford doesn’t need to make public service announcements stating what it takes to get in. People KNOW what it takes. What does it take for people to have the pleasure of an emotionally intimate relationship with YOU? You don’t need to state your admissions policy and repeat it – talk is cheap. SHOW your admissions policy through your consistent ACTIONS of staying on your white horse and having your own back. Without limits (boundaries ), you’ve got nothing. What are your limits? What are your standards? I’ve got a ton of acquaintances in my life that I have a lot of fun with, but as far as people who I’m very close to, it’s less than a handful. And there’s such a mutual value felt in those relationships because I know that their admissions policy is just as high, due to the respect that these people have for themselves (and the subsequent respect that they have for others). You truly do attract what you exude. Decide NOW what you will no longer stand for or accept. By implementing an admissions policy, you are now speaking with your actions that you’re no longer willing to reside in the fog of distortion. You can now see clearly in spite of the storm. Being able to see clearly (independent of the triggers and insecurities that taking things personally entails), is the foundation of what constitutes a powerful person. This is how to reinvent yourself.
Understand that when you start to evolve, the stagnant people in your life will have an allergic reaction to your movement/evolution.
This happens because you’re igniting fear. The best thing you can do is to remain compassionate yet nonreactive (because all of your power lies in non-reactivity), exude kindness and grace under pressure. Take this as the sign that it is: you’re on the right track. Just stay in your lane, focus on the ACTIONS that you need to take, do your thing and do it unapologetically. Don’t worry about failure. The more you try to avoid failure, the less character you’ll end up building. I’ve learned more from the millions of times I’ve massively failed than any of the times I’ve succeeded. Failure is the greatest tool in building the muscle of mental and emotional strength.
Failure can have 1 of 2 outcomes. It can breed a deeper hunger for lasting reinvention or it can keep you locked up in the prison of “I’ll-never-be-good-enough-please-complete-me.”
It’s YOUR choice. You would not be reading this post if you hadn’t gotten to a point where failure (& any fears that you have associated with it), has begun to seem like a better option that the current wash, rinse, repeat that your life has become.
“Perfection is the lowest standard you can hold yourself to” – Natasha Adamo.
Seriously. You want to know how to reinvent yourself? Understand that perfection is BORING. I used to always hold myself to a standard of perfection because deep down, I knew that I could never fully achieve it. As long as I busied my days with trying to attain perfection, I could not only APPEAR to be proactive, but I could also FEEL like I was working toward a worthy ideal. In reality, I was just constantly bandaging paper cuts so that I didn’t have to deal with the emotional CANCER that perfectionism is. Striving for perfection will destroy your life. Real friends and people who are capable of of MUTUAL relationships that involve true love, aren’t after, impressed by or interested in perfection. Perfection/perfection-striving is a complete turnoff to the RIGHT people. Perfectionism robs you of authenticity and being genuine and authentic is what attracts REAL people.
Put an end to the era of your life in which you have emotional jerk off sessions with your projections, limiting beliefs & fears.
Stop it. It’s a bad look. Make the decision to stop arguing with reality so that you can accept what IS and see things for what they really ARE. If you can make an assessment of your reality (that’s based solely IN reality and truth), you can then start to visualize a BETTER reality and continue to build upon THAT. This is where the Law of Attraction naturally kicks in and the universe begins to work for you on overdrive because you’re now working with it instead of being at war with what is. Stop being a Delusional Debbie living in the emotional Neverland of Limbo. You deserve better than that.
You’re not alone. You’ve got sisters all over the world reading these very words right now. Learning how to reinvent yourself is not some unachievable feat.
I know that the holidays
can be are hard in many ways, so look out for some holiday posts + some major giveaways and so much more coming up 🙂
If you haven’t already, check out my post on gratitude from last Thanksgiving (how has it already been a year?).
Wishing all of you that celebrate a very happy Thanksgiving!
Words will always fall short in expressing my gratitude for the love, sisterhood & support that you all have shown me and each other, all over the world.
Thanks for being a part of this tribe 🙂 Love to you all.