How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back. I knowwwwww. I never thought I’d write an article on this either, but you know I got a plan 🙂
If you’ve been following the blog, you know I’m not a big fan of using your precious brainpower, energy and time in an effort to try to get someone back into your life that consistently treated you poorly.
I get it and I’ve been there. You miss him, you miss all of his quirks and jokes and the way that he made you feel. You miss the way that YOU felt and the girl that you were when you were with him when the relationship was good. You make an excuse for and justify everything that he did that was wrong, disrespectful and hurtful because you feel like it was you that provoked it and made him act out. You just want him back, no matter what. how to get your ex boyfriend back
I’m sharing this with you because a lot of you have emailed asking me how to get your ex boyfriend back.
Also – I’m telling you this because it does work.
BUT… I’m sharing it with the knowingness (I KNOW because you guys are all so strong and so badass) that, by the time he does come throwing his scraps your way again, you’ll be empowered, healed, self-assured and strong enough to recognize the scraps for what they are and at that point, will have moved on.
So how to get your ex boyfriend back? Let’s get to it…
Your first problem is that through your internal, OCD, one-track, incessant hamster wheel thoughts (and it doesn’t matter if no one knows what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always seep out into your actions) and through your actions, you are essentially begging for him back. You have to take a step back, take a breath and vow to put an end to the crazy, an END to the insanity. No one likes crazy and it looks pathetic, desperate and awful on anyone that tries it on. Begging for him back is the worst approach possible. Men, no matter what they may claim, are very territorial. Men want what they can’t have. He may scream from the rooftops that he doesn’t want you and never wants to see you again and he may even really think that he doesn’t want you but I can assure you, he won’t sleep well at night wondering why it is that suddenly you appear to not give a flying F*CK and why it is you’ve gone from Desperate Debby to #IDFWU please-forget-my-name Patty.
All of the crying, Instagram stalking, begging, analyzing, gossiping, playing detective, pleading and bargaining will get you nowhere and the pity and empathy that you are after will never happen. It turns men off, WAAYYYY off to know that you have such little confidence and such a minuscule life that you’re obsessed with their every move and obsessed with losing them. Men want to feel wanted, not psychotically needed. Beating yourself up is not going to help you either. Are you listening? Either make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past or wake the hell up and give this emotionally unavailable f*cktard a run for his money.
If you don’t follow what I say, you will act out of desperation and will ultimately humiliate yourself and further decimate any shred of self-esteem you have left. I’m being blunt because there is no time for sugar-coating. You want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back now? Follow what I’m saying and he won’t know what hit him.
And if he never comes back? What do you REALLY have to lose? An idiot to stalk? At least you’ll stop feeling like an obsessive clown that’s allowing him to weaken the power and strength that you have if you choose to have it.
HOW TO GET YOUR EX BOYFRIEND BACK:
- DO NOT CALL HIM. Don’t text him, don’t “like” his photos, don’t email him, don’t open his Snapchat stories, DON’T.DO.ANYTHING. He doesn’t deserve to know that you have a heartbeat.
- I know it’s hard, but DON’T ACT JEALOUS.
- DON’T LET HIM OR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS SEE YOU CRY.
Simply appear that you do not give a flying f*ck.
- GO OUT. I don’t care if it takes all of the strength that you have to get out of that onesie of yours, put the Netflix and the Nutella and the phone away, take a f-ing baby wipe shower if you’re too depressed to shower (yes, I’ve been there) and drag your baby-wiped butt out into the fresh air, get out and BREATHE.
If he hears through the grapevine that you are out, enjoying yourself and NOT pinning and obsessing over him anymore, he will bust his balls trying to figure out what it is that you’re suddenly up to and what’s “distracting” you from obsessing over him.
And that’s just basic logic and human nature of guys being territorial. Right now he knows that he has you under his thumb. In his mind, you are too hung up on him, too broken over the breakup to have a life of your own and he views that as desperate and pathetic weakness. Oh HELL no missy. Back up. We can’t have that.
Stop all of this “I need you,” “I’ll love you till the day I die,” “We’re soulmates” crap. To him, that’s just unnecessary “drama” and it turns him off because this guy lacks empathy. I’m telling you that you absolutely must make him believe that you are completely over him. Care-free, happy-go-lucky!
Pick ONE friend that you trust or better yet, stop yapping to your friends. Comment on here. You never know which “friend” will go tell the wrong “friend” of his that you’re struggling. No dramatic, long, drawn out depression and good-byes. Let him wonder what in the hell you are avoiding him for.
Either allow your emotions to turn you into a batsh*t psycho that he was glad he got away from or sew him a new butt hole by being the unapologetically graceful, happy, confident girl that you absolutely have to appear to be.
He can make you feel like a fool or you can have piece of mind.
And I don’t care what road kill he starts hanging out with. Do not for any reason whatsoever appear to be jealous, hateful or spiteful. Any chick he turns to is a non-entity in your life. Do not deliberately run into him, but if you happen to see him, be cool. Be sweet as pie and busy enough to cut the convo, asap.
Avoid him like homework and it will get to him soon enough.
The reason most girls don’t do this is because they’re scared of being “mean” or “immature,” but when did having healthy boundaries ever become synonymous with being mean or immature? What’s “mean” about speaking through your dignified actions that you don’t have time for anyone that’s unappreciative of yours?
You’re not being immature at all and any ex that labels you as so for cutting them off? That just means that you got to them.
In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
Do not cyber stalk him and do not pass by anywhere he frequents. Stop making these really “necessary” excuses to get in touch with him or ask him some pathetic question that you need to know right now. If you have to break your fingers, do not contact him in any way, avoid it at all costs. No more crying “I miss you, I’m nothing without you” crap. Back up. You are about to give this assbag the ride of his life.
If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, this is how to do it but I highly suggest that you do this for the piece of mind and the confidence, power and self-worth you will receive from establishing healthy boundaries and rejecting hurtful behavior and relationships.
Be sure to look great at all times. Don’t leave the house looking like you feel. Ever, Get a new hairstyle, go buy a dress and prance all over town in that dress. I don’t care if you go to the grocery store, get out and be seen looking better and happier than you have in years. Get your butt out of that funk you’re in and remember: Anything that he can do, you can do better. Remember that. This f*cktard seems like he needs a wakeup call. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
If he’s out sniffing for a new chick…. by all means, let him have his fill. Ignore him like he is nothing to you and it will not only translate to him that you speak with you actions and that, unlike him, you actually have boundaries and self-esteem, but it will drive his mind up a wall.
If it’s a challenge he’s after, you give him one to remember. You SHOW him that you’re not so desperate that you’ll accept how he treated you and still miss him, obsess over him and pursue him. You SHOW him that you treat yourself well and have no room for anyone that treats you any less than you treat yourself. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
Let the disloyal, bro hoe users drain him dry if that’s what he’s after. But, as long as he has to wonder what you’re up to and why you’re being so avoidant, his curiosity will kick in and the challenge is there. If he thinks there’s a chance of other guys hanging around his front porch, you’re going to see him do a 180 in the attitude department. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
I just preached like an angry coach but when it comes to keeping ANYONE in your life that broke your heart, was dishonest and disrespected you, I clearly get fired up. I care about you all and If I can help one person avoid the mistakes I’ve made, then writing this was worth it.
If you want to get your ex back, I get it, but he will eventually SHOW you (especially if you take my advice and you’re not responsive to his bs), that the breakup was a good thing. And even if he cheated on you and you feel rejected, guess what? You just rejected HIM.
+ another helpful post: No Contact Rule: How To Make It 1000 Times Easier & More Effective