I don’t know about you guys, but this morning I didn’t feel like getting back on any kind of grind. This weekend and the week don’t have much of a distinction for me and I just feel like I need to reset but can’t quite get there.

Anyone else feeling this way?

After an early morning yoga class, I got to thinking about how I’ve dealt in the past and how to deal in general – how to deal with a breakup when you can’t stop obsessing, how to deal with the hand you’ve been dealt, how to stay on the white horse when you’ve got 5 anchors around your neck and how to deal with setbacks when you’re just.trying.your.best, to move on.

I thought about what’s helped me deal with my current heartbreak and what I’ve done in the past that’s proven time and time again to help in how to deal with a breakup, life matters, insecurity and setbacks.

I came up with 5 straightforward tips to remind yourself (& that I remind myself daily).

Whether it’s wondering how you’re going to get through the hour, let alone how to deal with a breakup, how to disempower deep heartbreak, insecurity or how to move past the bs, these reminders do help.

& no, you’re not going to be magically unbroken after reading these, but you will create movement and movement is ALWAYS better than stagnation.

Right? Right.

Keep this in mind…

  1. Whether it be your ex or anyone in your life that has caused you pain by treating you with a lack of value and respect – use other people’s dysfunction to motivate and propel you out of your own (NOT as a license to get off your white horse and embarrass yourself further). Just because you spent a really long time making a mistake, that doesn’t give you a license to hold onto it for dear life while tying your value to it.

    Time invested does not = more time needed to waste in obsessing. Ever.

  2. Understand that most people are walking contradictions. Whatever they contend, their truth contradicts.

    Instead of making it your mission to point out the contradictions in others and “fix” them, retire from the “Gotcha!” Police Academy and aim to get an emotional life by focusing on yourself, identifying where your contradictions lie and cleaning up your side of the street.

  3. If you need to know how to deal with a breakup and you find yourself missing your emotionally unavailable ex or wondering if that ex who disrespected you, lied to you and devalued you is happier without you and in a better relationship with some girls who’s everything that you’re not, you need to remember this (once I figured it out, my life got infinity times easier): It’s totally unreasonable to expect anyone to be a better person without you than they consistently were with you. 

    I’ve had to learn the hard way that not everything is about me. People don’t change, they show you who they are by revealing themselves over time (especially when responsibility or accountability is required of them). He’s the same guy with her. Promise.

  4. You’ll stop mourning what you could have been when you realize what it never was – a full-functioning, connected, and mutual relationship. 

  5. Speed bumps are inevitable on the road of life and they’re no big deal if you go over them slow and steady (which always wins the race). Before you know it, you’re over the speed bump and done. If you go over a speed bump fast because you don’t want to feel the short-term discomfort of having to go over it, you’ll end up f*cking your suspension.

    Make sure to feel your feelings. They WILL pass and you’re NOT alone. You’re part of a tribe here. Decide now to exchange the fleeting discomfort for a lifetime of being your own savior, shot-caller and validation giver.

Alright, that’s it. Thank you all for your love, support and sisterhood.

x Natasha

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16 comments

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Thank you so much Natasha, I really needed it .
If you go over a speed bump fast because you don’t want to feel the short-term discomfort of having to go over it, you’ll end up f*cking up your
xoxoxoxo

Reply

Thx Gem! I’m glad it helped! xo

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Loved it! It’s a perfect reminder and summation of everything you have been writing about. Your style is so unique and genuine, I can’t get enough. Please keep doing what you’re doing, you’re helping every facet of my life in incredible ways. xoxo

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Thank you so much Catherine xoxo

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The little one actually “heard” you…thank you sister 🙂 ❤️??❤️

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Awww yay! I’m so glad 🙂 Love u too soul sis XO

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Oh I thank you so much for the article! It came on time dye to my recent breakup and I can truly relate especially the part when you said “They’re the same guy with her.” That is sooo true and most time sooner than later the other woman he supposed to have on with will see that side too. Everyone in the relationship is responsible for his or her behavior, I mean we are adults so no blame game here! If things are meant they will will themselves out..kind of like moving on without moving on..work on yourself and good things will follow!!

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I’m so glad it helped! Thanks Kenya 🙂 I couldn’t agree more! XOXO

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The biggest mistake is believing that another person’s behavior that is disrespectful says anything about our value. In the end that person choose to mistreat someone without cause. The only thing we are responsible for is not allowing it to impact us. At the end of the say that person is not worth it.

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Couldn’t agree with you more Maria 🙂 XOXO

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I love this blog! It’s an absolute lifesaver and it has helped me find way to mend my broken heart! Thank you so much!

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Thanks Nevie!! I’m so glad that it has helped 🙂 xx

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Would someone please be willing to explain this line from the text to me? “It’s totally unreasonable to expect anyone to be a better person without you than they consistently were with you.” I would like some clarification if at all possible; thank you in advance!!

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My boyfriend left me for my possessive nature…my insecurity rude behaviour towards him .
He used to lie that’s why I used to get angry.Moreover I wanted him to be with me always . I separated him from his frnds and family.
I had trust issues so I didn’t wanted him to talk with girls or even make any girl frienda in unversites .

But he never explained me anything whatever I said he agreed so I thought it was okay.I broke up with him as a fun for so many time cause I knew my anger won’t last for more than 3days n he will get me back.

But this time it was different he left me for the first time in 2.5 years relationship.It’s being 3months already.I tried a lot but didn’t work out.Even I surprised him on his bday at 12 . I did what I could.

I messaged him 8days ago asking him to forgive me.I said I still want us.
But he replied he can’t he don’t have any feelings .He talks with so many girls .He have friends .He will move on someday.He just can breath now.
He said he don’t have any grudges toward me he wants me to move on .But how’s that even possible I love me so much.
I had the best moments with him.I cant imagine anyone without him either .

I’m blocked from everywhere now. From another account I check his profile.He seems to be so happy.He is hanging out every day..Lot of friends.I think he is having a feeling for someone else as well .

What should I do :(?????

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My heart is broken ….. to pieces…. this week. Your articles really help thank you

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You are not alone Louise. I’m so happy and honored to help. xo

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