In every relationship fantasy of mine, I am always “the one that got away” after a breakup. Always. Even after years have passed, (in my mind) I’m still remembered by my exes as “the irreplaceable gem,” that slipped right through the cracks; the girl that he “really screwed it up with,” and the one relationship that he can’t.ever.get.over because he still feels so badly that he f*cked up and lost it all with the one girl that loved him like no one else ever would or could. In my mind, I’m basically the reason this song was written.

While Fantasyland is a super fun place to inhabit, a few years ago I decided to acquaint myself with reality and in the process, I realized that I was never the one that got away. I was the batsh*t-crazy-psycho-ex-girlfriend that had let her insecurities, fears, issues (abandonment issues, trust issues, mommy issues, daddy issues), pain and rejection, get the best of her.

So what gives? How did I finally make the change from borderline-illegal-wild-banshee-FBI-stalking-psychosis to the cool, kind, genuine, classy lady (and probable soulmate) that remained on the white horse and embodies the meaning of “the one that got away,” to this day?

Here’s what you need to know…

The # 1 reason that you would ever be labeled “the crazy psycho ex” instead of “the one that got away,” always boils down to the inability to speak with your actions.

Do the one thing that your ex (and most people on this planet) can’t do – speak with your actions. Speaking with your actions is scary and hard to do at first because it goes against everything that we’re taught as kids. What happens then? We grow into adults that feel ashamed for having boundaries, having our own backs and loving who we are.

Speaking with your actions gets easier when you start to see the transformative effect that it has. When you speak with your actions, you put an immediate end to your run as ambassador of crazytown. Why? Because you give people absolutely no words to mince, twist and use against you down the line. You eternally remain on the white horse because instead of being cruel, creating drama, losing your sh*t trying to get your point across; trying to get him to empathize and trying to be “heard” and “right,” you let your actions do all of the talking for you.

Don’t get mad/crazy/psycho, disappear.

 

And even if you can’t physically disappear, you can emotionally disappear by having boundaries, which will help you eventually attain indifference (even if that means faking it until you make it while you stalk on the dl, have breakdowns in the bathroom stall, come back here to the blog 736512635 times a day every time you miss and want to text him, etc.). If you have to see this person at school, work or because of circumstances out of your control, you can still speak with your actions by not engaging on any level other than the surface stuff and keeping everything at a minimal, concise and boundary’d manner, no matter what he says or how much it hurts.

You can do it and remember, you’ll most likely be made to feel bad about speaking with your actions. Don’t worry about it. Stay in your lane.

Stop talking!

We can get addicted to wanting to talk things over and over (and over), so that we can delay the inevitable and try one last time to see if we’re “special enough” for them to want to change. This makes us look desperate and nuts.

We want to have “talks” and explain to people why they hurt us, how they hurt us and why what they did was wrong. The thing is, if these people were capable of respect in the first place, you wouldn’t be reading this now. So, wtf is the point of explaining to someone, that has consistently proven to you that they don’t understand respect, how they hurt you? Oh you’ve seen them respect people though? That’s because they want something from them.

Aim to Forgive & Let Go

Forgiveness isn’t about condoning what happened or accepting injustice. It’s also not something that you can just decide to do and do it right there and then. There’s no light switching in forgiveness. It happens organically as you begin to accept what is and let go of the hope that what has transpired, could have been any different. You make peace with the present moment and in turn reclaim your power.

Crazytown ONLY behind closed doors

Stalk, obsess, cry, kick, scream, shout… do it all in the privacy of your own space.

Feel your feelings and feel your pain. It will eventually pass through you. If you remain in a state of avoidance, the pain will fester and spread like a cancer, creating dis-ease in the body and it will “inspire” you to do and say embarrassing sh*t that you’ll regret down the line.

YOU, YOU, YOUUUU

Get a life by focusing on yourself. Want to be the one that got away? Invest in yourself. I’ve created some of my best work, gotten in the best shape of my life and grown so much during the most dark, difficult and painful times in my life. Use your pain as the instrument for becoming who you’re truly meant to be in this life.

By speaking with your actions, you give the other person a chance to not only miss the old you that used to mistake their chain yanks for sincerity and their crumbs for a loaf, but you reintroduce them to who you truly are and you give them the chance to see that there is a real consequence for being reckless with your heart: your eternal absence. Baiiiiii.

Being the one that got away isn’t this unattainable fairytale myth. It’s about recognizing when you’re triggered, taking action in your own life, disengaging from the bs, validating yourself and appearing to not give a f*ck until the day comes when you actually don’t (I promise, that day will come). 

Love to you all. Ciao ciao xx

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65 comments

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So good!!! Thank you so much Natasha god bless you for creating this site and for being the beauty that you are

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I’d like to chime in, as a male, if I may; it’s been 11 months now since my wife emotionally detached and walked out of our marriage. Married 15 years and have 4 young children together. I was blindsided, literally, by her news that she had fallen out of love and was leaving me. Up until that point, I thought we were living the American dream! Anyhow, I cried, begged, and was clingy. Very embarrassed by those actions at this point. Natasha, your article is right on cue about making them aware of the consequences for their actions. I woke up one day and decided I was tired of being tired of my absurd behavior and I began “evolving” into an amazing person. I began to exercise, a lot. I changed my appearance, drastically. I enrolled back in school to finish my major. Almost a year from that unfortunate day, I’m 40lbs lighter, looking sharp and alive, on pace to finish my bachelor’s degree AND I’m dating beautiful woman like crazy. My point? Well, I loved this woman, probably still do (ugh!), she meant the world to me and I would do anything to make her happy. However, there comes a moment when you really have to accept things for what they are. So, I cried it all out and started my journey to self healing. Now I look at her and I almost feel pity for her. I also know that she looks at me in a different light and probably feels stupid about her actions. So, eat your heart out woman! You made your bed, now lay on it. Natasha, your article is very supporting and encouraging to those in a bad heartbreak situation. Dignity, self respect and putting the most value in yourself is the best thing to do. Thank you Natasha!

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Hi Simon! Thank YOU so much for taking the time to share 🙂 I’m proud of you for having your own back, staying on your whitehorse and letting your actions do the talking. Thanks for the feedback and support! I’m happy that the post helped!!

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God bless you Simon! ☺ I also went from 170 to 134 and it’s been a year but I’m still crying over and over again after constantly being cheated on by the father of my son–whom I believed would be my husband. He’s always been this narcissist and you couldn’t do anything for him because he didn’t need you… I only wanted his love and affection and after ten years on and off, he has broken up with me and is seeing a woman he ended up spending Valentine’s Day with (two weeks, three–tops after our breakup) at a ski resort, and claims he is seeing two more women. I moved out of the house and I find that he has candles everywhere around the house… I’ve never given him a reason to hate me so it’s pretty heartbreaking to not be able to move on from this obvious a**hole.
I hope I can find someone amazing like myself. I am constantly praying for better. God bless you and the amazing women you’re meeting and dating ☺️

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Printing this one out. This is something that I definitely need to work on. Natasha you are amazing <3 <3

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Thank you so much for your articles. They really help me a lot.

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Hi Helena!

That makes me so happy 🙂 Thank you! xoxo

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“…there is a real consequence for being reckless with your heart: your eternal absence.” Boom. Truth!

Natasha, seriously, you have such a gift as a writer and advice giver. THIS BLOG HAS SAVED ME. I cannot tell you how your words of wisdom have helped me maintain standards, dignity and boundaries.

Don’t complain, don’t explain. Get on the white horse and stay on!

Natasha, you are a gem! Thank you, thank you for sharing your truth and wisdom with everyone. We’re all in this together!

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Hi Kaite,

Thank YOU! Your sweet message seriously made my day. You’re right – we are all in this together – always 🙂 xx

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So eloquently stated. Thank You. Feel better soon.

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Thanks so much La Toya <3 xoxo

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Does this work if you freaked out on him and confronted the OW when he cheated?

after confronting him I totally disappeared from social media and I have not contacted him or looked at his social media at all, for over a month now.

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Hi Parker!

As long as you stick to the no contact, you’re good 🙂 xoxo

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Hi Natasha, I found your page and I really love it.
Thank you so much for being there. <3
Me and my boyfriend of 5 years just broke up a week ago because he upset about stupid thing and ignored me. So I left him and cut him off but it lasted till 3 days and he texted me and I can control but to reply. Oh yea. This is not the first time. And he said he just texted to find out why I blocked him without a word and now he said he can't be together cos he moved on. And i was begging like a super shitty low woman again eventhough I know and I told myself not to if he calls. Is just when he said he moved on and maybe it's from God and that's why we can't be together I went crazy. Why he has to tell me just to hurt me. I've done so much and very supportive to him and take him back over and over and he did this. Is this mean he really moved on and found someone else ? I know it's stupid question and I also regret begging him and I just hate myself that I begged.
I really wanna just leave him completely and make regret and feel the pain. I wanna forget him.
I'm sorry Natasha. And keep posting . I love your writing .
Love, Faz

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Hi Faz, thank you so much! 🙂

I can’t say if he’s found someone else because I don’t know but I do know that the best thing that you can do is speak with your actions and remain in no contact. Your silence will speak more than any words ever could. I’m so glad that you like the posts and I promise to keep posting <3 xo

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absolutely loved this! great timing for me too

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Thanks babe 🙂 xx

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I am really struggling with not personalizing why a man would “let me go.” Is there truth to the following idea:
If a man feels ATTRACTION for a woman, on a deep emotional level BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then nothing else really matters:
Not looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion, etc.
Not peer pressure from friends and family.
Not even where a man is in his own life, which he often uses as an excuse – such as where his career is, his personal income, that he needs his freedom, he’s too young, he needs to “have his fun” before he settles down… all that stuff.
None of it matters!
On the other hand, if a man DOESN’T feel ATTRACTION for a woman, then nothing else matters in that case, either!
You can’t “talk” a man into feeling ATTRACTION any more than you can “talk” a person who has just eaten a huge meal into feeling hungry.

Does this mean even if he is really lost BUT emotionally available he would still show up? My former is in a place of complete “lostness” in his life… said he isn’t a whole person at present. Would an emotionally available guy still be able to choose me?

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Hey,
I LOVE your site,
im going through a really hard break up, even left the country and moved back home (where we r both from)
If he truly loved me he would never have let me go i keep repeating that in my head and i know its true,
but I have done some crazy stuff so now im trying to follow the whole cutting him off to move on more than anything else…
thank you for your site, it really does help a LOT especially that i dont know anyone who really has gone through what i have gone through and its really really hard!

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Thanks babe 🙂 That makes me so happy to hear. I totally understand where you’re at; you’re not alone. Keep doing whats best for you xoxo

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Will does work for an emotionally unavailable man?

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Dear Natasha xoxoxo
OMG this article rocks! I really needed this Natasha and the timing could not be any better 🙂 Can you write more of these, I love them so much! I was having the worse few days at my workplace, due to work stress, isolation and extreme loneliness …. already on my way to backsliding and giving in to thoughts of re-connecting with the ghoster at work (yes, you heard me!) But now I found renewed strength to hang-on and stay on track. Thank you for helping me! xoxo

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Hi Jamie!

Thanks 🙂 Yay! That makes me so happy to hear. I promise to write more. Thank you so much! xoxoxo

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So encouraginggggg!!! Definitely one of my faves. Thank you for your bad-assness Natasha!
Hope my email to you did not get lost in your inbox. xoxo

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Thanks babe 🙂 It didn’t get lost; I’m emailing you back tomorrow xoxoxoxo

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Thank you…9 days in of having cut him off and I have this page book marked for when I feel like I am slipping and wanting to reach out to the man who said he didn’t want a relationship with me after 9 months. I hurt but I realize that there is no point trying to get him to see what I saw because he is that unavailable guy. Thank you for your site, it helps me be courageous when I don’t feel it at all but I am getting stronger every day.

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Hi Tan,

Thank you so much 🙂 You ARE getting stronger every day and I believe in you. xoxo

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Natasha,

when you pushed to become the one that got away…did any of these guys change their perspective of you or came back to apologize?

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Hi Veronica,

Yes, a lot of them did and a lot of them didn’t. It didn’t matter at that point because I had finally built back my self esteem by implementing boundaries. I reached indifference, peace and I accepted who these people had consistently proven to me, they were. Apologies are great, but at best they mean “I regret what I did.” And that’s really nice. Apologies don’t mean “I’ve changed.” Consistent actions do.

Thanks for reading Veronica! xoxo

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Thanks so much. My break up was nine months ago, but it still hurt a lot. After I read your posts I realized so much about myself. I’m starting to heal and respect myself now. I just want to tell you that it’s great of you to share your experience and insight with us. Keep it up.

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Yay! That makes me so happy to hear. Keep having your own back and act and make decisions in light of the respect, empathy and love that you have for yourself Sonja. Thank you! I promise to keep at it 🙂 XO

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How do you recover when you find yourself falling off the white horse, and becoming the “crazy psycho ex”? how do you stop regretting what you did, losing your dignity, and what feels like to me all the grace and power that I had, even though he rejected me? When you simply lose control because it hurt so bad. I am struggling because I felt as though I was on this white horse, then I was not, and i was the crazy girl. How would you forgive yourself?
I love your blog, it is so helpful!

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Hi Jackie, thank you so much 🙂 You can always get back on the white horse by making the decision to disengage (in all respects; even if you aren’t in communication), forgive yourself by taking care of you and having your own back. xo

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Jackie,

I felt the same, I stayed on the white horse even when my ex dumped me on what was supposed to be our wedding day. I remained calm, didn’t go crazy, act out or even fight him. I felt if he wasn’t 100% about me it was a blessing in disguise. Then a month went by and I had become stronger and promised myself I wouldn’t contact him but he did the unexpected and kept trying to reach out and eventually he showed up at my house. He said he missed me and had to be with me- he texted me for a few days after that even made plans to see me again – only to pull
back, get freaked out and run away again. I wish I could say at that point I stayed on the white horse but I didn’t. I felt so angry that after everything he had already put me through he would then do this. Make it harder for me to move on again. I became so angry and hurt I said some things I regret. It is the hardest thing to accept because initially I felt I still had my dignity and now I feel like I left things on bad terms. I still believe it’s best to not contact him as it’s not healthy for me and learning to forgive yourself is difficult. Just keep reminding yourself of all the times that you forgave him without question and love yourself enough to do the same. XO, RC

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I just discovered your blog a few days ago after a break up with an ex. Reading through each post has helped me tremendously!

With my last few relationships, I’ve always been a firm believer of cutting them off. And, a few of them later came back saying I was “the one that got away.” You articulated the concept perfectly. Speaking with actions DOES volumes and it’s comforting to know that with this recent split, I did just that. And it was the right thing! Thank you so much for this!

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Right on!

Yes absolutely 🙂 Thanks so much Jenn! XO

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This is amazing and i love you so much. Me and my ex broke up a couple months ago (over text because it was long distance) and i went crazy begging for him back even when i wouldnt get a response and eventually he did reach out to me saying he wanted to be friends and then after about a month after being “friends” it became clear he was uninterested again and wouldnt put in actual effor to be friends and now hes interested in someone else and it hurt a lot seeing him doing the same things to her he did to me but by cutting him off and refusing to be “friends” with him any longer i truly believe that he will realize that he cant just treat people badly and expect them to say and because im the first ex that refuses to be friends even if im not going to be the one that got away believing that i am is the first step!

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Thanks Jean! I love you too sister 🙂 Just by doing what you did, you are the one that got away. You go girl. XO

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Thank you for this site. For over a month, been going through a separation/breakup after a long term partnership of over 12 years. Somewhere, the go-getter, goal oriented, self-reliant, gal in me disappeared and this co-dependent creature took her place and I’m dealing. Make no mistake, “the guy” is not going without blame in this – he’s selfish. Has always been. And rather than deal with his issues by adulting, he self-medicates (alcohol), and the last year, it was becoming a HUGE issue to the point that the month leading up to my leaving the house, I became incredibly depressed and frustrated. I pretty much was giving up. And then, the “I’m ending this now” from him and me saying, will, nothing, I just walked out the door with a packed bag with no thought of what the hell I was going to do.
Its been painful. We have fur/feather kids that are all still at the house. And while at first, there was much anger and resentment (from the both of us), we’re being civil now and I’m coming by the house for visitation (I adopted the parrots, we both adopted the cats/dogs), once a week. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten a part time job at the gym where I use to train at (former competitive athlete, btw) and am starting to train again. And I’m moving full steam ahead in building my business (as an illustrator). And other opportunities have opened up for me, too. Both exciting and scary – which is an interesting cocktail, eh?
I’ve also discovered I have an AMAZING support network that I never knew existed! Its even worldwide. So many friends have been popping up to let me know that I can stay with them and rebuild my life. Options to move to other states and even, another country is available to me! Fantastic people are by my side! So, I continue to work on making ME A PRIORITY. Which seems has never been. Oh, but it will. And I thank you. I woke up this morning, feeling bummed, down…absolutely a deep shade of blue. But discovering your site and reading through, you’ve helped SO MUCH. THANK YOU.

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Thank YOU so much for sharing Patricia! I’m so happy to hear that the blog has helped. You’re part of a tribe here and you’re never alone. You’re doing the right thing by having your back and taking care of yourself! You go girl. xxo

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I wish I knew how to be this strong, my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and mother of his son. He had told me he didn’t like their relationship and left her a number of times when they were together as he wasn’t happy. He told me he is going back to her because he wants a happy family and misses his children when he isn’t constantly around them. We had been together a little over a year and although I am angry and feel betrayed I miss him like mad. I miss our relationship and how I felt when I was with him, I miss being cared for and having someone to share a life with. I want to over this but I can’t seem to see the way through at the moment. I have to work in the same office as him which is difficult but unavoidable.
Your writings are inspirational, I just wish I could see myself getting to that ‘I don’t care’ point soon because at the moment all I want is for him to turn up at my door, tell me he loves me and that he wants me back.

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Hi Sam! Thank you so much 🙂 You are not alone – you’re part of a tribe here and are loved and supported. You can achieve indifference by consistently having your back. I know it’s hard. xoxo

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Hi Sam! Thank you so much 🙂 You are stronger and more beautiful than you even know. The quickest way to strength and indifference is by consistently having your own back. I know it’s hard. You’re not alone – you’re part of a tribe here and you’re loved and supported. Thx for reading & sharing XOXO

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Aww Natasha your words keep me going still now 9 months on. Sometimes I ask myself, why do I want to be the one that got away? The girl he will never forget… I think deep down no matter how much of a relationshit it was 🙊 It was real for me. You’re like a guardian angel that got sent to me just at the right time to help me through the pain of the end result of me. Even though the narcissist has a new girl , something tells me he will never forget this girl 🙋🏿 The one that got away” X love Liv X

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Hi Liv! I couldn’t agree with you more. By doing the one thing that he is incapable of doing (speaking with your actions), you automatically become “the one that got away.” This is because you have chosen to stay on your white horse and act in light of the love and respect that you have for yourself; dignity and awareness. Love you soul sister! Thx for the love. xxxxx

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LOVE this, LOVE this entire site. You’re the best, Natasha! XO

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Yay!!! Thanks Joan! 🙂 Love YOU soul sister xoxo

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THANK YOU for your blog. I feel like I have read EVERY website about either how to get your ex back or how to move on from your ex, and your blog is the first to have felt truly helpful in helping me heal and feel good again no matter what happens, and reminding me to seriously question why I would be sad over or want someone back who I was miserable with and who left me because he had feelings for another girl. Thank you for reminding me that I am too smart, too strong, and too good to be hung up on a guy who hasn’t treated me right and isn’t sure about me.

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Ana, you made my day! You are so right; I’m proud of you. Thank YOU for allowing me to see that I am not and was never alone in my experiences, anxieties feelings and pain. I did nothing but hold a mirror up to you through my writing and I’m so happy that you’re seeing the capability, strength and beauty that I see. You go girl. Thank you so much for the love, feedback and support soul sister XX

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This site has helped me tremendously during the past few months post breakup. Thank you Natasha. Your articles have helped me feel less alone and have inspired me to change my thinking.

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That makes me so happy to hear 🙂 Thanks Emily!! XOXO

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I just have to say you are amazing. I’ve read a few of your posts over the past few days, and you have nailed it on the head. Thank you for writing and sharing. So authentic and empowering. And, yes, I’m a guy and think this stuff can apply to anyone.

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Thanks Ryan! 🙂 That means so much to me xo

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I feel like I was divinely guided to your wonderful site. I was recently involved with someone who has definite narcissistic traits. He decided he didn’t want to see me anymore after I brought up the “what are we” and “I want more” talk. I know it’s for the better, but even though we only saw each other for a few months (after a looong stretch of non-dating for me, so I was hungry for anything resembling love), I was completely hooked and now find myself playing the “crazy-ex” role, texting him constantly, going from “You’re a piece of s**t” to “I wanna be friends always”. He always played the silent treatment with me whenever we’d fight, and I always apologized even though it wasn’t my fault (at least not entirely) and he always came back, even though each time he invested less and less. I am resolving to no-contact him now after reading all your advice. At this point I feel I might have already ruined it with my “begging”, but just maybe…after a while of not hearing from me, it will have a greater impact BECAUSE he’s 100% used to me saying I’m never going to talk to you again, and then I text.
Anyway thank you loads for giving a voice to what we all are feeling, reminding us of what we know deep down but can’t remember when we’re blinded, and letting us know we really aren’t alone in this. You are awesome!!

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It takes one to know one Tricia – you are a gem (& far from alone!). All my love to you soul sister! 🙂 x

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Hi Natasha,
Thank God for your blog. I wish I found it earlier. I know I have already embarrassed myself and ruined it all. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy, he wanted a family, we talked about me moving to his state and us getting a house together. I got pregnant and it all changed. I had severe hyperemisiss and was back and forth from the hospital for six months with a PICC LINE. This guy couldn’t find a day to come see me. He made excuses as to why he couldn’t see me.

He finally came to be there for me when I was going to have my baby. It was a scheduled induction. He left me in the middle of my labor saying he’s been there all day and so he needed to leave. He left me, although I begged him with everything that I got. My friends beg and begged but he left. He walked out on me on my labor bed without even saying good bye. I ended up having a csection. He showed up 3weeks later after my mother had to call and beg him to come see us.

I recently found out he was dating two of us and when I got pregnant, he decided to stay with her. He moved in with her, they bought a house together the month my child was born although he told me he was moving out of the country and that he doesn’t want to get married. I found out he got engaged to her while I was pregnant. He couldn’t take one day to visit me throughout my terrible pregnancy but had a whole week to go on vacation and get engaged to this woman.
I found out by Google he and a woman had a baby registry. I was devastated!!!! He was expecting a baby with her!!!! I found this lady on Facebook and sent her a message. I told her everything, obviously he hid us from her all along.

She had been with her all along and treated me and our son so bad just to make her happy. Left me in my labor just to go be with her!!!! ( I don’t think I can ever get over this pain )

He was angry at me for contacting the girl, told me he doesn’t want me anymore. I cried and cried, cried to his mu, his sisters and to him. He blocked my number and doesn’t want me texting or calling him anymore. I kept texting and calling because I wanted to talk to him. He refused. When he finally spoke to me, he told me he’s moved on and that I should move on.
I’m devastated, I still love him and want be with him. Although I know he doesn’t love me and doesn’t care about me. I is happy with her and has a beautiful family with her. He hid my son from everyone for all this while, but she had her baby and with enough two weeks, he has her on his profile introducing her to the world.

Mt heart is broken!!!! I am so hurt beyond words. The sad part is, I already humiliated myself and fell wayyyyyy off the “white horse”…..
How can I get back on the white horse, will he ever regret, miss me or show any remorse? I try to tell him how much he’s hurt me but he doesn’t even care!!!! I am very sad. Please help me. I’m depressed, can’t eat, lost so much weight. His family don’t even want to hear about me anymore because I ruined everything by contacting his new woman.

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Hi Lynda!

I wish that I could help, but I have too much to say to type it all out and not enough hands to type or hours in the day. This is why I cannot give specific advice in the comments. I’ll try to write a post soon that further explains this.

Thanks for the love, for reading and for your understanding.

You’re not alone XOXO

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Thank you so much Natasha, I have been checking on here everyday to see what advice you may have for me. This guy has hurt me so much I cannot even express it. Your blog has been very helpful in helping me deal with it especially how not to further embarrass myself. I have been doing no contact for almost three week. I know he doesn’t miss me and wouldn’t even be bothered that I don’t contact him anymore. The sad part I, we have a son together but he won’t even check on him. I’m so hurt because he treated me so bad and refused to be in his sons life because he didn’t want her to find out about us.

I’m broken beyond words. I hope I can continue to do NO CONTACT for a very long time. The sad part is that, he seems to have changed and in a happy relationship and they have a new born all happy. He is showing the new baby off on whatsapp and Facebook but not even once did he post my son’s picture on his social media.

I will be looking forward to the post about how to deal with this all. Thank you so much for all you do.

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this Linda… I know how it feels to be heartbroken beyond words as I am going through a similar situation after almost a year of our breakup… I hope things are better now…
God bless you and your little one…

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I met this guy almost 15 years ago through mutual friends, had an amazing night, THE most amazing kiss (we both felt the same– best kiss ever) and spoke on the phone every day for about a month but due to a 4 hour distance, he said he just wanted to be friends with me and I was heartbroken. I wished him luck, we went our separate ways. Six months passed, he contacted me again but because I was still feeling hurt and not really trusting, we just briefly spoke (he picked up on my distrust) and we again, went separate ways. No drama… nothing. Fifteen years have passed and he still contacts me, still talking about the amazing night and kiss and how I ‘ruined’ him for other women. All I ever did was stay classy, no matter how much it hurts, you should never go ‘nuts’ on someone. Probably the only reason we haven’t gotten together is because I am now happily married to another man for 14 years. The way I always looked at it, I wasn’t the one who got away, I was the one he chose not to keep. I do wish him the best of luck, though. 🙂

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Thanks love

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Hello I am in a lot of pain and was hoping to get some advise and help with my situation?

My ex and I were together for 7 months and it was an instant connection. All was so good, we never fought and everything just fit so well. I am 32 and he is 31 and we did speak about the future and the fact that we would be together forever. I want kids so much and we spoke about this too and I felt like he was on the same level and we would hope to do this in the near future due to my age.
A month ago this Thursday he broke up with me saying that he didn’t know what he wanted and if we wanted the same things in life. He said he loves me more than anything but feels like he needs to be alone to sort himself out and if we are meant to be we will get back together. He said what we have is so special and doesn’t want to say goodbye forever but wants to give me my stuff back as he is reminded of my everywhere he looks. He also changed his status to single on facebook but is still following me on all social media stations.
A little bit about him – I am his longest relationship (7 months). He is scared of commitment. Before he met me he said that he had accepted the fact that he was just going to be alone forever as he never met anyone right for him and was just going to focus on his career and bettering himself… and then I came along and he was so in love with me. He told all of his friends and family that I was the one and treated me like a princess.
I cannot imagine him not coming back as it was so special and I know he truly loved me but I am so scared that he won’t 🙁
Do you think he will regret this and come back? Is there anything I can do to make this happen? I am not contacting him at all.

I would really appreciate any feedback or advice from Natasha or any other ladies?

Thank you so much xx

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Hi Jess!

I wish that I could advise, but I have too much to say to type it all out not enough hands to type or hours in the day. I would also need more details. This is why I cannot give specific advice/answers in the comments.

Thanks for your love, for reading and for your understanding. Keep coming back here to the blog. I do offer one-on-one coaching if you’re interested.

All my love to you soul sister.

You’re not alone XOXO

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