I’ve written about emotional unavailability and narcissism, but there’s a certain species out there that I haven’t yet discussed. In many ways, this species is embedded in and yet completely independent of the other two. These are people that you may think you know very well. You may be dating one, friends with one, working with or even related to one. They don’t look any different or stand out in any kind of obtrusive way.
They definitely stand out though, in the most one-of-a-kind, magnetic and emotional vampiric way, a way that leaves “the audience” at their emotional, a*s kissing knees. You’ve seen this species in action – their winning persona, wit and one-of-a-kind charm on full display as the attention of their low self-esteemed bystanders is hypnotically commanded.
They call their own shots, always get what they want and never seem to experience any of the consequences that life is all too willing to hand our way. The blueprint in which this species operates is never noticed or revealed – until they inevitably unfold. That unfolding point however, is nearly impossible to act upon or accept.
At that point, our value, identity, boundaries and livelihood have already been bartered down and compromised to the point of no return. We have way too much to lose because we’ve given them everything. Without them, our “investment” is gone.
Investing in someone of this species on any level is an investment in the most f*cked up emotional ponzi scheme there is.
Who are they? Sociopaths.
What is a Sociopath?
Sociopaths are people who, through their passive agenda of manipulation, deceit, deflection and emotional robbery, seek to destroy the very foundation of the people that they claim to cherish because, well, they can. Although there are many different sociopath symptoms and varying definitions, the core attribute of sociopathy is having no conscience.
Having no conscience whatsoever is impossible for you and I to fully wrap our heads around because we have a conscience. We don’t know any other way. Even though we aren’t a certain gender, race, height, weight, etc. we can still imagine how that may be. The reason that we invest as long as we do with sociopaths is because it’s hard to imagine (and nearly impossible to accept), how someone could be void of the moral compass in which we assume is the common denominator of humanity. It’s the fiber of our being. I used to think that no matter what, everyone had a conscience deep down. Life has taught me that as far as sociopaths and sociopath symptoms go, this isn’t at all true.
If you don’t have a conscious, you’re not only incapable of being aware of your actions, but you are incapable of responsibility, empathy, accountability and… LOVE.
And without any of these make-or-break attributes that are essential for healthy & mutual relationships, the only option that the sociopath has left is that of game playing, manipulation and emotional warfare. Their entire life becomes the Mortal Combat of attaining and affirming control through charming, passive and ultimately cunning manipulation.
The path of destruction and emotional casualties that sociopaths leave behind is so devastating, that being involved with this species has had effects on my heath that to this day, I’m still dealing with. Exposure to sociopathy is nothing to be taken lightly.
“Sociopaths can charm the birds out of the trees and tell you black is white, and have you believing it.”
So what are the tell-tale sociopath symptoms in males?
Are sociopaths also emotionally unavailable, narcissistic or both?
The question you may be asking is “Am I dating a sociopath?” and what do I do??
As far as sociopath symptoms in males (or females) go, let’s first do a little emotional “math” here to answer any questions that I know I definitely had in regard to the connection between emotional unavailability, narcissism & sociopathy:
In my nonprofessional opinion – not all emotionally unavailable people are narcissists, but all narcissists are emotionally unavailable.
As far as sociopathy goes – not all narcissists are sociopaths, but all sociopaths are narcissistic.
You could Google “sociopath symptoms,” and millions of identifying traits would pop up. I wanted to provide you guys with what I’ve personally experienced as far as sociopath symptoms go. They may not be the exact “conventional signs,” but looking back, they’re what now stands to me the most.
And if I can save just ONE of you the pain, manipulation, tears, dis-ease and TIME that you’ll NEVER get back… I’m happy.
What are the 5 Sociopath Symptoms?
Signs Your Dating a Sociopath
They deserve an Academy Award for the emotional orgasms that they fake.
As far as sociopath symptoms in males (or females) go, this is by far one of the hardest to accept because they’re so.f*cking.convincing. And if our self esteem is low enough, we’ll feel GUILTY for even reasonably QUESTIONING their authenticity.
Sociopaths are masters at faking intense moral outrage, portraying a false facade of being caring & empathetic (which often results in our ovulation); they are professional victims. This is done to paint a picture; to create a persona that is so solid and convincing, it will make anyone who ever dares to question them feel, look and sound completely baseless.
Another huge one is fearlessness. NOTHING scares a sociopath except very primal fears like dying, becoming terminally ill, etc. They conceal the exposure of their emotional spam at all costs. If they get “found out,” it jeopardizes their ability to con and manipulate further (in which case they disconnect, get “bored,” discard you and move onto another victim/audience. They then deflect the knowingness that you have of them by crazy labeling you to any willing audience).
Sociopaths have absolutely no fear in doing and saying the most asinine, outrageous things and then when the aftermath sets in, they act completely oblivious; like nothing ever happened. They don’t care at all about the opinions of others or what other people think of them.
Sociopath symptoms can all be marked with an outrageous factor. They are grandiose in their emotional perpetration and always unapologetic. They lie about their experiences and are “shock factor” junkies.
Some examples of this include: pathologically lying (their lies are MEGA HUGE; “white lies” are not in their vocabulary), cheating, future faking, making inflated and unrealistic promises (& then making you feel badly when you ask a logical question). They also fake “true love,” engage in robbery/stealing (emotional and/or literal) and are masters at fear mongering (emotional and/or literal).
Sociopaths thrive in running smear campaigns; turning “everyone” against someone. Yes, they know the difference between right and wrong, but don’t feel that gnawing FEELING of empathy, guilt, remorse, shame or a need to reconcile. Sociopaths are only capable of selfish regret, which they attempt to gift wrap as genuine remorse. They keep lying due to their level of delusion and the “belief levels,” that they command from a battered down counterpart or audience.
Sociopaths truly believe that whatever they say is FACT.
It will never occur to a sociopath that you (and everyone else) have your own needs, wants, FEELINGS, thoughts and rights. There’s no point in ever trying to express it either. They will disallow you from making decisions that are independent of their needs and because your self esteem is so low, you’ll think that they just want to “connect.” Sociopaths engage in an “eat-chew-spit” policy when it comes to lovers and friends. Because they can’t ever move on in a conventional way, they have to dispose of and spit people out (only after they chew them up).
They’ll pedestal you like no one else ever has, then devalue you because they can’t subscribe to either. If they could, their manipulation tactics would not be as effective. Sociopaths are only capable of fake empathy as a means to further manipulate in the friendsh*ts and relationsh*ts that they procure.
Turnaround Town & Tumbleweed Apologies.
Sociopaths will never apologize because they truly believe that they are never wrong. If they do apologize, it’s only to make you feel guilty and to re-secure the extent to which they can manipulate.
They don’t feel guilty about anything and if you present them with evidence that they are indeed wrong, they’ll never admit that you’re right. Instead, they’ll get hostile, go on the attack, deflect and often start a convincing campaign against you. This is how they get people to do what they want.
They are the ambassadors of Turnaround Town.
Because they lack any kind of conscience, they will use your OWN conscience against you.
How? by reminding you of “whats morally right” and repeating back basic morals to you when you innocently complain about something trivial. They love telling you what you “should” be doing with your life, money, time, etc.
And because they have a need for constant stimulation, when they get bored, they will all of a sudden bombard you with some grandiose “good” news/information/plan so that when you have any kind of question or concern about it all, they can accuse you of “not being on board,” not caring and failing to listen/follow along.
What to Do If You’re Dating a Sociopath
Strategize an exit plan, speak calming and kindly with your ACTIONS and realize that you never were, never will be and aren’t dating/friends with the person that they portray themselves to be.
Why do they change all of a sudden and go so quickly from hot to cold? This isn’t “intensity,” “artistry,” “passion” or “change.” This is them REVEALING their scheme.
If anyone in your life exudes these sociopath symptoms, the best thing you can do is understand that there will never be any reasoning or “winning” with these people. Don’t try to explain, don’t antagonize and create emotional and physical distance asap.
It’s time to create your own closure & let your non-reaction BE your reaction.
Who cares if they vilify you or start any kind of smear campaign? You don’t need to clue everyone in on what you know. Let the universe handle that because it will, it always does and the universe is behind you 100% (as am I and this tribe of badassness reading these words with you, all over the world).
YOU know and that’s all that matters.