What a year it has been, FULL of life changing decisions.
This year was by far, the best year of my life but also the most difficult, painful and challenging. Last New Year’s Eve was a day that I will never forget – it was the worst day of my life (more about what happened here). There were many times that I didn’t think I could continue blogging and building my brand, let alone put one (emotional & physical), foot in front of the other. I was being pulled in so many directions, but because of YOU, I kept at it.
Looking back now, as I type this post in the same bed I was completely hopeless & inconsolable in just 365 days ago…
I made it. I’m still standing (and so are YOU), & I am so fearlessly and incredibly grateful.
Even though the lows were seemingly impossible at times, 2016 was very good to Post Male Syndrome. What started as a personal outlet in a time of emotional, financial & spiritual broke as a joke-ness, has turned into something beyond what I could have ever imagined. I am honored to have personally coached many of you this last year, from 19 different countries and counting. I’ve been fortunate enough to speak all over the country, where I’ve gotten to hug some of you in person. I’m finally able to afford it and in 2017, will be introducing video, podcasts & so much more. All because of each and every one of you. So thank YOU for creating this tribe and thank you for being the reason that I never gave up this year.
Not only did you give me a reason everyday to get up and focus on the bigger picture, you gave me the greatest gift of all:
You guys provided me with an avenue OUT of my own suffering by giving me the honor and pleasure of helping you out of your own.
Thank you. I am forever indebted, appreciative and in complete awe of the warriors, survivors & beautiful souls that you all are, all over the world.
So, here it is – a new year. I’ve never really warmed up to the idea of New Year’s resolutions. The whole concept kind of bores me honestly. Although it’s a clean slate and a new calendar, I feel like most of the time, we do it just because everyone else does (& eventually abandon it because of the pressure the entire concept inadvertently imposes). The truth is, you can decide to change at any given moment.
And who wants to play follow the follower?
Been there, done that. No thx. I’m hungry for something LASTING (& I know you are too or you wouldn’t be reading this).
So instead, for 2017, let’s make INTENTIONS; life changing decisions that we can all decide and ACT upon NOW (instead of hopelessly hanging onto the threads of something that will wear off as quickly as the nostalgia of the holiday).
Let’s use the clean slate of time not as a tool that we’re in need of for resolution actualization, but as a motivational launching pad to propel us into life changing decisions that are executed the moment they are decided.
That moment is now.
Here are 15 Life Changing Decisions to make for 2017 (& beyond)
Make the decision to cancel your subscriptions. They’re costing you emotional currency that you’re no longer willing to spend.
From now on, you are done subscribing to the self-limiting, self-sabotaging beliefs, fears and stories that are holding you back. I’m not asking you to believe that the sky is purple, I’m asking you to DECIDE NOW to stop arguing with reality and unsubscribe from the delusion. Keeping those subscriptions in tact will do nothing more than attract lovers, friends, circumstances and experiences into your life that cater to that f*cked up, I’m-not-good-enough belief system.
Make the decision to stay on your white horse, no matter what.
You will never, I repeat NEVER be at the end of your life one day, wishing that you would have been less of a class act.
Make the decision to be non-reactive.
Non-reactivity is a superpower. Neil Strauss said something to me once that has never left me: “where there is reactivity, there is a wound.” Decide now that you’re done giving people a roadmap to your wounds & triggers (so that they can use it as ammunition to hurt, emotionally blackmail and make you feel crazy down the line).
Make the decision to run out of f*cks to give when it comes to the opinions of others.
Guess what people are thinking about all the time? Themselves. Mind your business, do your thing and do it kindly & unapologetically. Everyone is always going to have an opinion (in which they’re totally entitled to). You will truly appreciate & allow others to have their own opinions – independent of your value – when you make the decision to acknowledge that the opinions of others are never personal. They are nothing more than a reflection of the current emotional state of the other person. Make the decision this year to allow others to own their own behavior by starting to own (& trust in) your own.
Make the decision to FORGIVE – yourself & others.
Of all the life changing decisions that you can make, forgiveness is key. Forgiveness does not in any way mean that you condone what happened. As Oprah once said, “Forgiveness means letting go. You’re letting go of the hope that what has transpired could have been any different. It’s letting go of the past that you thought you wanted.”
Make the decision to be the person that you needed when you were younger (& didn’t have).
Everything that you wish you had been given – emanate it, radiate it, give it to the world and WATCH the universe boomerang it right back to you in spades.
Make the decision to create emotional (& if possible, physical), distance between yourself and toxic people.
Stop stirring the toilet that’s full of sh*t and then lamenting about the smell. Don’t explain, don’t ask everyone else for their opinion, don’t make it a long-term goal to eventually get around to… just FLUSH!
Make the decision to stop emotionally hoarding.
I will never understand why hoarders don’t hoard gold, diamonds and cash. They hoard sh*t that molds and makes them physically ill, but they hold onto and treat it as if it were gold. If you’re going to emotionally hoard, make the decision right now to start hoarding the emotional gold that’s going to motivate and HELP you, instead of the garbage that you’re holding onto for dear life. It’s making you ill, it’s a bad look and it’s time to relieve yourself of the emotional constipation NOW.
Make the decision to get out of bed with your parents.
If the thought of being naked in bed with your parents grosses you out, stop doing it emotionally. Decide now that you are DONE with the emotional incest; you’re done attracting lovers and friends that exemplify the attributes of Mom and/or Dad. It’s as diabolical as putting a band-aid on cancer and as pointless as trying to sunbathe at night. This is one of the most powerful, life changing decisions. Don’t date Mom/Dad and if you happen to find a mate that is not Mom or Dad, make sure that you don’t become Mom or Dad. Parents are there to love and guide us, not to emotionally sleep with down the line, become, etc. If your parents failed you, address those feelings OUTSIDE of the emotional bedroom so that you don’t waste your life trying to invalidate the pain of the past by trying to be “good enough,” so that you can be the exception to a f*cktard’s rule.
Make the decision to stop being a doormat for others.
The only way to solidify this decision is by acknowledging where you doormat yourself and deciding that the buck stops HERE. Set your own standards. Stop allowing others to raise or lower the bar for you. That’s YOUR job.
Make the decision to change in yourself what you wish you could change in others.
This is one of the most rewarding, life changing decisions that you can make. Make a list of everything that you wish you could change in others and aim to change those very things in yourself. You will find that the qualities you wish to change in others, you possess as well (like always attracts like). Let’s say you wish that someone you love would overcome their addiction to a substance and you’re not addicted to any substance. I guarantee you that you are addicted to self deprecating, “I’ll-never-be-good-enough,” thoughts, so in essence, you’re an addict as well. Change in yourself what you wish you could change in others and WATCH the world adjust.
Make the decision to say goodbye.
Say goodbye to the bullsh*t, the pain & the toxicity. You’ve got a life to LIVE.
Make the decision to let go of the “what ifs,” and acknowledge that the universe (& this tribe !!) have your back.
Maybe that guy, that job, that heartbreak, that loss, etc., was a northern star, pointing you to this very moment so that you could make the DECISION to stop arguing with what is and ACT upon the knowingness that YOU are the creator (not a f*cktard), of this experience called LIFE. When you are truly ready for an epiphany, that’s when the blogs appear, the doors open and the books fly off the shelf. You’re here, you’re ready & you’re supposed to be reading this, right now.
Make the decision to judge everyone.
This is one of those “aha!” life changing decisions. I think word “judgment” gets a really bad rap. I judge people every day, but I don’t judge them based on their words (talk is cheap), or anything superficial or hurtful. I judge them on their consistent, without-intention-or-effort, ACTIONS. This makes everything so much easier to decipher and prevents you from getting overtaken by future-faking words. Actions will always speaker louder than anything and judging people based on their consistent actions is the ultimate liberation from the agony that hanging onto words ignites.
Make the decision to get out of your head.
The root of all insecurity, depression, stagnation, fear-based paralysis, addiction and hopelessness is an unhealthy level of self obsession. Stop obsessing about everyone and every thing through the filter of the belief that you’re not enough. Make the decision NOW to show the world how ENOUGH you truly are by aiming to connect with others instead of auditioning for a role that you’re already convinced you’ll never get. The burning desire to get out of your head and genuinely connect with others will murder self-doubt, fear and the self-obsession.
Make these life changing decisions NOW. I promise, you’re ready.
Hope you all had the best time last night. We stayed in and took it easy this NYE. Getting ready to go on a ski trip 🙂 Look out for 2 (!!) giveaways coming up this week.
Wishing you all a safe, happy & peaceful New Year. Thank you for being a part of this tribe.
Live it up this New Year and just remember – you’re loved, understood, supported, backed and believed in – by me and all of your other soul sisters all over the world, reading these very words with you right now.