I used to have a PhD in “how to mess up your life and luck.” I was the Triple-Crown-Champion-Jedi-master.

There are SO many more ways than 10 to mess up your life and guarantee misery, failure and a magnetic pull toward bad luck (for yourself and others), but I want to share with you the 10 that proved to be the most toxic and destructive for me.

I’ve engaged in/embodied ALL at one point or another in my life.

My heath, emotional wealth, identity, boundaries and self love dwindled as a result.

They dwindled until they were so nonexistent, I was entrenched in wash-rinse-repeat, relationsh*t and friendsh*t HELL. A hell that did nothing more than reflect the relationsh*t I had solidified with myself. 

As far as luck goes, luck is such an interesting thing to me. One of my favorite quotes:

I’m a firm believer in luck. The harder I work, the luckier I get.

And the funny thing is, same goes with BAD luck.

The harder you work at feeding (and subsequently attracting experiences that cater to) your fears, insecurities, doubts and the self-limiting story that was solidified in childhood… the more unlucky you get.

When I stopped engaging in these 10 things, my life and my luck transformed. I ran out of f*cks to give, was able to implement healthy boundaries (without the usual associated guilt), and stopped sidelining myself in the game of MY life.

As the momentum built and I started to evolve both personally and professionally, people would comment on how “lucky,” I was. It’s not that I was ever “lucky” or “unlucky.” It’s that I stopped engaging in these 10 things that I realized after years of practice, were feeding an emotional cancer that I kept lamenting over the unfortunate symptoms of.

Here are 10 guaranteed ways to mess up your life & your luck:

  1. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Allow people to take up residence in your head and heart, rent free.

    If you’re allowing someone/something that happened in the past, to live in your head and heart rent free, it’s because you’re getting fulfillment out of arguing with reality (aka maintaining a toxic connection that caters to your low sense of self), and delaying acceptance. You’re also devaluing your own emotional property by thinking that the only way you’ll be prime real estate, is if someone or something else deems it as such. REMEMBER THIS AND SAVE YOURSELF YEARS OF MISERY: You will never attract anyone that sees in you what you don’t already see in you. And if by chance you meet someone that comes to your emotional land and sees prime real estate… if YOU don’t believe you’re prime real estate, you’ll end up burning the person out, unintentionally hurting them and/or becoming a sitting duck for “he’s-just-not-that-into-you,” disconnect. It’s time for emotional eviction. Take a step back, assess and gracefully release the tenants who are damaging your emotional property.  As long as these people and situations are taking up residence in your head and heart, they are only causing you harm (and 99.9% of the time, they’re not even AWARE of any of it). Remember, your space is limited because it’s PRIME property. Make sure to only allot space – in your head, heart and even on your social media – for only those that TRULY deserve it. Our thoughts are ALL we have. They fuel our actions and thus set the bar that the universe meets us at. RAISE your standards, KNOW your limits and IMPLEMENT a revised emotional eviction policy. Not only will those that truly deserve to take residence there feel that much more connected to you, privileged and valued, but YOU will be more valuable and connected to YOURSELF.

  2. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Operate like a walking, living, breathing Instagram quote and “live each day as if it’s your last.”

    I don’t want to come across as cynical or critical of that quote because I do think that the meaning behind it is well-intended and beautiful. However, I have found profound meaning in changing it up. If I truly lived each day as though it was my last… I don’t know. I’m not sure how practical (or legal?) that would be. There are things I’d want to do on my last day that just aren’t conducive to any kind of reality other than it LITERALLY being my last day. So what do I do everyday for reals? I live each day as though it’s the last day of everyone who I interact with, especially my loved ones. You will never go wrong by practicing this. Ever. It’s pure, it’s rare… it’s vibrational and karmic gold. Live each day as though it’s THEIR last, not yours.

  3. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Don’t throw away your sh*tty, out-of-date GPS.

    Admit it because you know it’s true: the people/person who is occupying the most gnawing, gut-wrenching and addicting space in in your head, heart and soul right now is most likely not worth it. This person doesn’t deserve the mental energy that’s needed to maintain their tenancy (rent free!). So why did I allow these people to stay for so long? Because every time I tried to let go, I had no more GPS. I felt completely lost. And feeling lost was so much scarier than feeling “found,” in my pain and agony. Here’s the thing – you DON’T have to waste the amount of time that I have. It’s totally okay to toss your GPS (that’s proven to be really sh*tty anyway). Your power to let go is INNATE. You’ve had it within you since birth; it’s in your DNA. YES, it is extremely painful to let go, but… you CAN do it. Trust me. Don’t be scared to throw away your GPS and release anyone that is hurting your heart, spirit and soul. Allow yourself to be completely lost. I promise, it’s temporary and it’s the only way to truly find yourself. And once you find yourself, you won’t need anyone to ever rescue you because you’re on your own white horse (that has its own built-in GPS).

  4. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Completely misdiagnose your triggers.

    Your triggers are there to remind you of what you need to work on. They’re not up for adoption as “set-in-stone,” fact. Repeat after me: “My triggers are not my truth.” YOU are your truth. YOU are the awareness BEHIND the mechanism. Stop pulling the wool over your eyes in the name of allowing what triggers you to define you. YOU define you, not your triggers.

  5. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Tell everyone your story.

    “Never tell all of your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad it’s not them.” While there are the few people in my life (3 to be specific. My Mom is included in this), that I vent to, I think that there’s really something to be said for keeping your cards close, not airing out your dirty laundry and retaining a sense of mystery. It’s under-the-radar cool, classic, ALWAYS in style, less drama and puts no ammunition out into the universe for others to ever use against you. Remember: no one can ever edit/twist/mince what you don’t say. Choose wisely who gets the privilege of you opening up to them. Not everyone needs to know every detail of your story. When you feel the need to tell everyone your story, you rob others of wanting to get to know more. It’s like micro-managing your own relational demise. By telling everyone your story, you emotionally unwrap yourself in the name of trying to extract empathy from others that you can’t give yourself. Make the decision to disable your chances of becoming a sitting duck for emotional blackmail down the road.

  6. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Stay on the gossip train.

    I used to engage in gossip all the time. Gossiping is so addictive because for a moment, you have the power in holding the key of information that the person you’re talking to has yet to attain. This gives a false sense of significance and as humans, we will risk our own morals, values and dignity to feel significant. Gossip is also the cheapest form of avoidance. By gossiping about others, you get to avoid taking responsibility for your own emotions and feelings. For a moment in time, you feel this temporary high – a high so intoxicating that you forget about your own insecurities, misery and shortcomings. Gossiping allows us to evade having to deal with our own mess – we create an even messier picture of others around us and immediately feel better, but the mess we put out into the universe always boomerangs right back at us 10-fold. It’s just a temporary pacifier to distract us from our own suffering. I never gossip anymore because: a) It’s a bad look. b) It’s none of my business. c) I get nothing out of it other than having to deal with a very costly emotional hangover. When you gossip, you devalue your own words. Now, I listen and observe. And when other people gossip, I leave. I’m not into it. You get what you tolerate. Tolerate others gossiping and you’ll be the subject of their gossip soon enough.

  7. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Continue to invest in toxic people.

    You are who you hang with. One of my favs, Jim Rohn once said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Toxicity is contagious. If you can’t keep physical distance, keep emotional distance from these people. Stop investing in their Ponzi scheme and then crying over the fact that you’re emotionally drained/broke. You no longer have the emotional credit to run on.

  8. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Date someone who is emotionally unavailable and/or narcissistic.

    If you’re dating someone who makes Peter Pan look like Confucius, someone who can’t connect and/or someone who always makes it about THEIR pain, THEIR struggles, THEIR agenda… run. Be done. Understand that you will never be the exception to their rule; you’ll never get the cat to bark. Run because these people have no empathy and they never will. Run because they have a complete inability to put themselves in your (or anyone else’s) shoes. Run because it’s not about you. Run because you know you deserve better. Be the adult that you needed when you were younger, speak with your actions, RUN and never look back. Your self esteem will thank you in spades.

  9. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Stay in relationsh*ts past their expiration date & maintain friendsh*ts with exes who disrespected and broke you.

    The reason we stay in relationsh*ts past their expiration date is the same reason that we try to maintain friendsh*ts with toxic exes: Validation. You DO NOT need outside sources of f*cktard validation to emotionally survive, thrive or function. Staying in relationsh*ts where you feel more alone than if you were physically alone is like refusing to flush the toilet just because the sh*t in it reminds you of your favorite meal. FLUSH. It’s not the filet mignon and soufflé anymore… it’s sh*t (that is not nor will it EVER be useful to you). Staying friends with an ex that disrespected you, broke you and can’t see your value is pointless. The short-term ego boost isn’t worth the long term damage to your dignity and the robbing of your destiny. If you’re going to be friends with an ex, it will happen mutually, respectfully, ORGANICALLY and it won’t feel forced. It needs to happen when you’re over the possibility of what could have been and you’ve accepted what they did and who they are. If you do anything else, you’re basically just doormatting yourself; emotionally bending over in the name of trying to prove that you’re good enough to reclaim your old position in their life. True friendship can’t survive without respect and respect can’t be given if you have none for yourself.

  10. HOW TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE & YOUR LUCK: Teach grown adults the emotional A,B, C’s.

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: The second you have to explain to a grown adult why something that was hurtful/disrespectful was indeed hurtful/disrespectful, BE DONE. If you don’t speak with your actions and cut your losses, you’ll start to confuse being needed with being wanted and derive a feeling of significance from inflating the emotional airbag that you’ve become. You’ll by default, become the resident armchair psychologist for emotional infants. It’s not your job to teach grown adults how to communicate, articulate, express themselves and most importantly… love you. ANYONE who, at ANY point made you feel as though you were hard to love, communicate with and commit to… protect your heart and be done. It’s not your job to be a relational preschool teacher for grown adults nor is their emotional bankruptcy your debt to incur.

And lastly, remember this – NOTHING is about you, nothing. What other people do and say to you – good or bad – is a direct reflection of their un-dealt-with trauma, emotional capacity and an attempt to avoid the suffering/insecurities/reality that THEY manifested and were dealing with long before you ever came into the picture.

Disallowing someone the copyright to their own emotional property is like thinking the sun rose because it knew you were awake. Let them own it & accept that the sun will rise independent of you doing so.

Wishing all of my friends in the USA a happy & safe (hopefully long? not for me ) 4th of July weekend!

I’m looking forward to unplugging for a bit on the 4th though πŸ™‚

Tons of ♡ to you all.

x Natasha


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My biggest faults lay with #1 and #5. Not to say those are my only but my biggest. I let so many people take up space in my heart that do not deserve to be there, and when I’m hurt I have to talk about it over and over and over again and let it out. I think that’s what I have to work on now. Changing #1 wont be instant but at least I can work on keeping things to myself. It’s a small goal but right now I need to look at small immediate things.

Thank you for sharing it really enlightened



So happy it helped! πŸ™‚ Thanks sis! XOXO


I went to your site to re-read one of your articles and was pleasantly surprised to find this new post. πŸ™‚
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; your blog has been such a life changer for me.
Thank you for always spelling out exactly what I need to hear.


Hi Vanessa! Thank you so much πŸ™‚ I’m all smiles. The pleasure/honor is all mine <3 xx


Thank you! I love this gentle reminder!!!




I struggle so hard with NO. 1. I overthink everything and even though I know its the right decision and we broke up for very good reasons, i have fake arguments and discussions with him in my head 2.5 months later. i am so sick of doing this. any tips on doing the emotional eviction? i agree keeping the pain alive is also keeping the connection alive. i don’t want the connection or the pain, but i can’t seem to turn off my thoughts around him. we don’t communicate, not connected on social media, no mutual friends, its all just me and letting him have space in my head for free. i know i deserve better, but i still crave that validation from him and i really want to stop that.


Hi Lori. When I read your words it struck a chord with me, as I have been there too. It is a hard time, but try being extra kind to yourself. Love yourself up. Buy yourself something luxe and gorgeous. Take bubble baths or really long showers. Wear clothes you love. Buy a new lipstick. Buy yourself some fresh flowers and appreciate how beautiful they are.
When you’re in pain and feel lost it can be very hard to realign your life compass. So change things up- start doing life a bit differently. Drive to work a different way or catch a different train. Take extra special care of yourself. Tell yourself you deserve to feel beautiful.

You want his validation because you find it hard to validate yourself. That’s why you feel empty. I say this with compassion as I was there once – and not too long ago. On my worst day, could barely get out of bed and taking a shower was work.
To get through Christmas Day that year I had to swig tequila to get through it. At 9 am because there were people around and I was trying to act normal. Now re reading that makes me laugh. I very rarely drink so the idea of doing that is laughable but I did it as it softened the gnawing pain inside my stomach . I was in agony.

I think it’s best to try to just take it one day ata time, to be organic about it. Just ‘feel’ your emotions. Be sad and in the moment with it. Allow anger to flow and be present with it. Because then you VALIDATE yourself and your emotions.

F… him. If he was going to be there for you, you wouldn’t be hurting and re living the pain of him in your life each day.
For months I would wake each morning and in my head say .f… you to him. Lol. It was like a mantra. But it helped me express what my head knew but heart didn’t want to accept. It was not good for me being with him and this truth was looming in front of me like a massive brick wall. I finally stopped trying to smash my way through it.

You’re doing an awesome job of moving on! You can even write about it. Stay true to you. Read everything on this site. I used to go to sleep reading articles that I identified with. They will give you courage and knowledge. Very powerful stuff when you’re healing.

Be you. Be strong. Love yourself up. Big hugs xxxxxx ❀️


Thank you, Lorelle! You are spot on and the one thing i haven’t been doing is the self-love stuff you mentioned. That is what needs to be my focus for sure. having grown up being invalidated constantly, i had no idea what it even felt like to feel validation, much less know how to validate myself.

This blog has been a huge help, along with other readers like yourself!



Hi Lori! I’m so glad you saw my message to you xx I really understood your words and wanted to reach out.
It’s great when we can identify areas we need to focus on in ourselves – self love was a big one for me so I am very aware of that in others now too.

Try it – being very loving and KIND to yourself. It’s hard when others haven’t been that way towards you but when you do it – it feels sooooo good! You realise it’s healthy and normal to be loving and kind. You’ll know you deserve it too.

Interestingly, since reading what you wrote the other day, I pinpointed the fact that my ex was unloving and unkind to me on a very consistent basis.
At the the time, I didn’t see it though. So coming here, to this blessed site where we all can share and trust with love, it allows you to reflect and gain real understanding of why things didn’t work out, and what you need to focus and heal in yourself.

Your words show you have a lot of insight into yourself now. You really are awesome, girl! You deserve to be loved and it’s all gonna happen! But first, love yourself up. Treat yourself with care, kindness and respect. Wrap yourself in happiness by choosing ONLY experiences and people who make you feel goooooood.

This helps you develop strong and healthy boundaries – and when someone isn’t showing you kindness and love – your gut will tell you instantly. You’ll feel it. And it’s a sign to trust yourself, and move on.

It’s okay if it takes more than one go at recognising this too. We don’t fail just because we slipped over again. Just as long as we get back up. ❀️

I love what you wrote back! I’m wondering what self love choices you’re gonna make. Enjoy spoiling yourself! ????????????

Be proud of yourself cause you’re strong, smart and you know you’re lovable. That’s why you are right where you are in life. You are not gonna settle anymore! Love to you – and keep reading on here. You’ll soothe your soul and fill your heart xxxx it’s all good, Lori ✨✨✨

I really took your encouragement and advice to heart, Lorelle. My electronic guardian angel! πŸ˜‰ Its wonderful to see how have you learned and grew from your relationsh*ts. I wrote back to KP below on a few things i have done so far and i am going shopping for some new clothes this weekend!

thank you so much, really. you have helped more than you realize with your kind words and encouragement. i just love coming to this site to read the comments almost as much as Natasha’s posts. a favorite that i have reread repeatedly is https://postmalesyndrome.com/how-to-stop-seeking-validation-live-life-on-your-terms/#more-28706

You are a wonderful intelligent soul, Lorelle!

I second that! πŸ™‚ you both are my angels.

SO proud of you Lori! πŸ™‚

In complete tears over here (& my smile couldn’t be any bigger). I LOVE seeing this sisterhood and support. Love you both. xxxx


Lori, Lori, Ohhh Lori!! That is just the most awesome news! Look at you! Reading your message has put the biggest smile on my face – and enjoy your clothes shopping!!! Whoop whoop!! ??????

I read your words to KP too – I’m so pleased and happy for you… truly just humbled that a few words have helped you try some new things and made you feel so goooooood!

It is such a gift to come here – Natasha has started something so spesh and so valuable on PMS and it’s helped, encouraged and guided so many of us.

Hehe ‘electronic guardian angel’ – ohhhhhh that’s ? just so beautiful…biggest hug to you!
I’m so glad I wrote to you the other day – I read your words and I have been there so I wanted to reach out.

Omg — Natasha is going to burst when she reads what you have shared. She reads everything on here and she will truly be over the moon X 100 when she finds out everything you have achieved so quickly! ❀️?❀️ You should be Soul Sister of the Month! ?

You’re moving at lightening speed, gorgeous girl – you’re galloping away on your white horse! I promise you’ll never look back. Xxxxxx

Love and hugs,
Lorelle ❀️

Words cannot express my love, gratitude, appreciation and just how INCREDIBLY proud I am of you all.

I am in awe of each and every one of you… soul sisters of mine πŸ™‚ <3 xxxx


πŸ™‚ I’m all smiles. XO


I am in tears. Loving this sisterhood and support. I love you both! xx


You know someone has created a safe place when you read beautiful interactions like this between strangers. Lorelle, you’re right on! What a kind soul. Lori, you ARE on your journey out of this mess or you wouldn’t be reading or reaching out here. What a brave soul. It can be a slow long journey, but what matters is your purpose, vision, and the self discovery along the way. What you gain from this cannot be taken away from you. It’s worth more than any man validating you. This is YOUR life; you hold the pen, like Natasha says! Your future is bright and full of hope!

Lorelle out of all of the amazing things you said (so many great things – you encouraged me vicariously!), the idea to switch up the daily routine stood out to me. I can attest to this – it can be awkward at first, but can become exhilarating and empowering. If you stay in your routine and rut, the reminders keep coming as if on cue. Lori, switch it up sister! It can be simple and small changes; you don’t have to go get a tattoo (or do? Ha) – just cleanse some area of your life that feels stagnant and in need of change. It will give you fresh eyes and some energy to take on the day. Once you jumpstart that, watch out world! bc you will be propelled into more positive changes; you will think how did I ever survive living the way I was all those years!? Lori, you’ve got this. He’s already fading into the background….. you know, what’s-his-name. We know YOUR NAME, and we are a tribe of bada**women who support you from afar. Come back and tell us like Lorelle said! what awesome steps you’re taking to love and validate your beautiful unique self!


Hi KP! This site and the wonderful, smart, beautiful readers and commenters like you and Lorelle have been a godsend! I started switching up the routine, and it works! Such a simple thing to do, but it really has been a game-changer in where i am putting energy. a few things i have done so far – take a different route to work, so much other stuff to look at and think about, I joined a meditation meet up group – new people, new experiences, self care. The first meditation was a guided cord-cutting to unhealthy attachments!! How perfect is that? I felt so light and free and loving afterwards. And i actually accepted a date with a new guy. I had some seriously misplaced loyalty to what’s-his-name. and i will listen to my intuition this time. i will actually trust myself. I knew within about a month that my ex wasn’t good for me, but i didn’t listen and i won’t do that again. i know the exact moment where i should’ve walked away, but since i didn’t trust myself, i stayed around hoping to prove my worth. staying had the opposite effect of course – on him and more importantly on myself. i see it pretty clearly now and i have learned some valuable lessons. so no more beating myself up about it either.

Just the fact that we are all here, supporting, and loving each other is an act of self love! Thank you so much for your kind words, encouragement, and advice.

love to you!


πŸ™‚ you go girl. XOXO


Kp, Lori and Lorelle…. I want to hug and high-five you all simultaneously and then get a 5 hour long girls dinner together. Who’s in? πŸ™‚ XOXO


Oh my! That DOES sound good! ?????. Xx Too sweet!

I know it’s your blog, Natasha, but the fact you read each and every post and respond is just gold. You inspire and support in so many ways. Many things in life these days are faked up to appear loving and ‘there’ for the benefit of others but they are not.

THIS is…. xxxx ❀️✨❀️✨

YOU are gold my dear sister <3 I adore you Lorelle. xxxx


Also, as Lorelle recommended…. read every post here. Come back here every time you feel weak or out of control. THIS ONE…. https://postmalesyndrome.com/how-to-reinvent-yourself-reclaim-happiness-in-5-steps/


Can’t tell you how great it is to read these comments and feel the connections even we’re all strangers in a way. Everytime I come here and read the comments from other women I know I’m not alone in this mess an that there is a way out! Thank you so much for charing your insights and your experiences. I have no idea how self-love ‘feels’ or what is good or bad. My ex left me without real explanation after 6 years and didn’t want to talk face to face to me after that again. So I started dating, far too early but met someone who wants me to be me more than anything else. But I still suffer from shame and guilt for not fighting longer for the other relationship it drives me nuts. It’s hard to stop people pleasing and to forgive myself.
So reading your words is like a big hug from the inside.


πŸ™‚ Loving this and all of you. Thank you Joy for being a part of this tribe. XOXO


Don’t feel shame and guilt for anything, Joy. It was his stuff. Not yours.

If it’s what you’re doing and saying – that’s your stuff.
If it’s what someone else is doing and saying – it’s their stuff. He left – he didn’t want to communicate. Read the section about emotional unavailability and you’ll understand it wasn’t you.

You have a beautiful name – fill your life with people who bring it to you xx ❀️

πŸ™‚ could not agree more!


Oh! Hi KP! Thanks for your words xxx I always feel so good coming here as it’s such a collective realm of wisdom and love. When we are broken hearted the hardest thing is to love ourselves and so when you come here, you can wrap yourself in the warmth others give. I was a mess til I came across this site over a year go. I tried so hard to ‘move on’ but I was just going around in circles.
I can’t remembered what I ‘googled’ but Natasha’s words popped up, I clicked the link and I felt like finally, I was where I needed to be.

Without fail, reading here always gives me strength on my low days. I read on my strong days too. It’s like reinforcement. I read and re read again and again because when we have had weak (um almost no boundaries lol) you need to keep reinforcing what you have learnt.

When we lack self love, we need to keep reminding ourselves what that actually translates to in daily life. So we can heal, create new patterns, break old habits and learn how to show love to the most important person in all our relationships. Ourselves.

I love your words too KP – you understand things deeply and I’m glad you could relate to what I wrote about changing things up in daily routines. I think the hardest thing to change are old habits, they become so comfy we don’t even question why we do things a certain way. But, when you change things – simple things, there is power in that!

Try rearranging your furniture too – lol. Buy new bed sheets, change your doona cover ( um duvet to all you American sisters out there!) just change little things in your outside world and when you change your inner world it all kind of melds together. The most important things in life are not the big things. Weddings, overseas trips, new cars, holidays. It’s the DAILY stuff that is the important stuff because you have to wake up to it every day. It’s what you see when you open your eyes, it’s where you eat breakfast, drink coffee, how you get to work, who you talk to, where you buy groceries, what you wear, …. and if those things don’t support happiness in you, then it’s hard to feel good. And we all deserve to feel good everyday. To have peace in our hearts and lives. Then when the weddings, trips, holidays and milestone events happen they are the icing on the cake!

When I come here, and I read what others say, sometimes I just shed a tear. We are all so blessed to have found what Natasha provides. It’s like a little greenhouse – all these little sad, love starved flowering plants come here, no water, covered in weeds and wilting. ? Then we start to blossom and bloom and reach out towards the warmth that surrounds us. Each other. ?

I’m so happy for you KP as you’re strong ( can hear it in your words) and like you, I get the power of reading here. It’s soul food for sure. Thanks for your words and to all you American sisters out there, happy Fourth of July, lovelies! ??
Hugs from Australia xxx ???? keep blooming!


Lorelle, I always have something to say and I am for once, completely speechless. Thank you for being the gem, the light, the beacon of wisdom, beauty and the sister that you are. I hope one day to give you a hug in person. I am the one who’s blessed to have all of YOU. xxxx


Hope you get my message KP xx read the thread xx


Kp, Lori and Lorelle…. I want to hug and high-five you all simultaneously and then get a 5 hour long girls dinner together. Who’s in? ? xxxx




Hi Lori! I’m glad that the post helped and resonated with you. I love that topic for another blog post! I’ll try to get to that asap. You CAN make the decision to evict. We all love, believe in and support you unconditionally. I wish that I had the time to write more in the comments and elaborate (I know you understand <3 Thank you for being YOU).

You're incredible and you got this! πŸ™‚

xoxo Natasha


You are not alone. You have a tribe of us who have been where you are and know the experiences that you were going through. You are not alone. You have the strength to evict him.




Thanks Natasha for this great piece of literature, spoke to my heart when I was upset over other people – White horse built in GPS ( heart this ) god bless you xxxx


Hi Jules! So glad that it served you πŸ™‚ Thank YOU for your love, support, sisterhood and for being a part of this tribe! xxxx


You make more sense of all of this mess than anything I’ve ever read. The relationsh*t mess and mess that is myself. You have literally saved me from wasting the rest of my life looking in the rear view and wallowing in “never enough” “what in the h*ll just happened!?” self deprecation after zero closure and so many unaswered questions. I have been slowly, steadily implementing your advice for the past 6 months, and every time you post something new, I wrestle with it until I OWN it.

Keep posting! Please keep posting. You haven’t said it all. Just when I think I understand it all, you say something so profound I’ve never heard before. Sometimes I want to punch you LOL? – bc its f*cking HARD to get on board, but really I want to punch myself (well ok and that f*cktard who fits every description you’ve ever so perfectly laid out). Except when I break it all down I don’t want to punch anyone at all…. Bc I’m just too busy! I’m too kind and classy! You taught me that!

This post was so necessary and good. So many take-always I saved for reminders. Mostly that NOTHING is about you; nothing. There’s freedom there. May we all be free in this way to live our hest life! x-


Hi KP! Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3 I promise to keep posting (videos, courses, book and a podcast coming soon!). You are so loved and appreciated. I'm truly honored to have helped πŸ™‚ xx


I am so excited about the possibility of you creating a podcast.
Thank you for your generosity and grace.


Thank YOU, De Elle for your love, sisterhood and support πŸ™‚ you made my day! XOXO


Thank you! I keep tripping but it’s getting easier to recognize and deal with. Have a good weekend


Hi Ricki! I’ve tripped so many times… I TOTALLY get it. You’ve got this. If you can’t believe in yourself, believe in my belief in you. You are loved, supported, believed in and never, ever alone. Hope that you had a good weekend too and thank you so very much for being a part of this tribe. πŸ™‚ XO


As brilliant as ever Natasha! Hahah the teaching a grown adult part had me smiling from ear to ear!!! So true. Genius. Rock on girlfriend! Xxx


Lol it’s true! πŸ™‚ Thanks Kathryn!! xxxx


Your posts are so amazing. Going to read all of your recent ones this morning with some coffee. You are such a talented writer and you see things so clearly. Thank you, Natasha.


Love you sister. Coffee date soon one of these days. Thank you for being you. XO


When I found your blog half a year ago I had no idea it could change my view of life and myself in so many different ways!
After 2 years from a break-up I still cried every day, looking for a way out of this even I was/am in a new relationship with a good man! With your blog I finally got the strength to fight my fears and to develop some self love , sonething I have never learned before! It’s also great to the see how you have changed during your posts (using different kind of words, seems to be a lot more confident)!
There is only one thing I can’t answer and couldn’t find an entry about this specific topic. I have a desperate need for physical contact. My current boyfriend is more rational while I’m emotional and need hugs and kisses a LOT. I still don’t no if I’m too “needy” or if we’re just on different pages and it will never really fit… Is this “just” a sign of my low self esteem or is it a reason for it?

But thx Natasha you helped me so much and I start to value myself for the first time EVER.


Hi Joy! I’m so happy to hear that and honored to have helped πŸ™‚ I would need more details and wish I had the time to answer questions in the comments. I’ll try to write a post about this soon! Thanks so much for the recommendation and for being a part of this tribe πŸ™‚ XOXO


It is so nice to read not only a post that is so inspiring and speaks volumes to me, but on top of it, to read the supportive and kind comments people have left both about the post and towards each other. Natasha you should be proud for insipiring this kind of unity. In a world where people hide behind their computer screens and dish out negativity like fairy dust, its refreshing to read what I did today. Thank you, you have found a loyal reader! Ann from Germany πŸ™‚


Hi Ann! I hope that when I visit Germany one day, I can give you a big hug in person πŸ™‚ Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this tribe and making the community what it is – pure GOLD; nothing but love, no judgement and support. All my love to you soul sis! xxx


You have helped me A LOT. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have found your website. I just got out of an emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship that slowly robbed my self-esteem for over 4 years. It feels amazing to finally be able to walk away and your website has been a great help to me. I really hope to see you and express my gratitude in person someday. Thank you, Natasha!


Hi Handina! Words cannot describe how grateful I am that YOU are a part of this tribe πŸ™‚ I’m honored to have helped. Sending you lots of love! XO

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