If you don’t know how to respect yourself, all you have to do is search online and you’ll get a bunch of recommendations.
- Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
- Recite a positive affirmation in the mirror every morning.
- Be honest with yourself.
- Remind yourself of your worth.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Discard negative thoughts.
- Get physically (or if you can’t, emotionally) distant from narcissistic people.
- Take care of your body.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Work on building your confidence every day.
And while these are all great ideas if you already have somewhat of a foundation to go off of…
What happens when you’re coming to the table not just looking for a better meal, but completely malnourished?
What happens when you’re in such a deficit that, even though you want to, you can’t eat any of the food on the table?
If you’re severely starved and malnourished, eating a bunch of food right away could be dangerous. If you don’t ease back into it, you’ll get sick.
Or even worse…
Because you literally cannot stomach this food that you are starving for (and know that your body needs), you come to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with you for not being able to digest it.
No matter what you try, you’re screwed. So, you become a victim who no longer believes that they are meant to survive. How can you even try to be a survivor when you know that there’s no way you can survive without food?
When we are emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically malnourished, trying any of the bullet points above will just make us feel more defective and unworthy – even though they are healthy recommendations to follow. One of the root causes of emotional, spiritual, and physical suicide is repeated attempts at trying to eat that proverbial food and do what we know is good for us, but somehow, ending up in a place where we’ve added to our deficit instead of diminishing it.
If you’re trying to figure out how to respect yourself when you are already at a place of having healthy boundaries, decent self-esteem, and an ability to not act on your emotional triggers, the proverbial food will at the very least, be digestible.
If you’re trying to figure out how to respect yourself when you have no self-respect to begin with…
All the food that you so desperately need will still make you sick and discourage you. At this point, it’s indigestible.
You have to start smaller.