+ * the PMS Holiday GIVEAWAY WINNERS are announced at the bottom of this post – !!

Jealousy isn’t something that I need to go into any kind of depth describing. It’s an old and familiar club that we are lifetime, VIP members of whether we like it or not. It’s something that we have all felt, are feeling, and will continue to feel. This post is not going to give you a magic formula on how to overcome jealousy in the sense of never feeling it again. Not only would that be unfair, it would be unrealistic and delusional for me to attempt. Especially because jealousy is something that I not only still feel to this day, but it’s something I know that I will continue to feel. And that’s okay.

It frustrates me when I read or get suggestions like, “Just don’t give it any energy,” “You need to invest in yourself,” or “You can get rid of it by making peace with your past.” Jealousy is not something that you can just turn off, uproot and “get rid of.”

There is no emotional antibiotic that will ever eradicate the virus that jealousy is.

Jealousy is tricky.

It’s this “uninvited-guest-turned-sudden-maniacal-invader-holding-you-hostage-at-gunpoint,” emotion. It renders you hopeless, helpless, defenseless and undefended as you tred water in the sea of your deepest insecurities and fears.

Because of that, this post cannot delineate a do-it-yourself exorcism of an emotion that none of us can ever completely avoid or turn off.

This post is about how to act on “NO,” instead of hypnotically repeating it on a loop that gets you nowhere. Figuring out how to overcome jealousy is about Jedi mastering the art of limiting the bullsh*t associated with it.

Jealousy is a guest that no matter what, will always be at the party. You stand in your power the moment you realize that you don’t need to associate with each and every guest. Disassociation is key.

It’s about disallowing and walking away from the “power-over-you” destruction associated with the one emotion that will chokehold you until you’ve been drained of any kind of belief that you can ever do better, be better or have any value at all.

Learning how to overcome jealousy is about overcoming the power it has over you.

Here’s how to overcome jealousy in your relationships & life:

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Anyone else out there a total New Year’s resolution failure?

I’m not big fan of New Year’s resolutions. Probably because I’ve always excelled at itemizing them, amping myself up, and then failing miserably at carrying them out for more than a week or two… if I’m lucky.

New Year’s resolutions are the perfect storm of societal and self-induced pressure to change/turn around/”wipe clean,” all the sh*t that the holidays (and the past year in general), have done such an eloquent job of highlighting.

New Year’s resolutions are hard to maintain because more often than not, the life that we breath into them is comprised of more hope than execution.

And with a structure that weak, the foundation for our resolutions thus becomes unrealistic expectation-setting in the name of clean-slate nostalgia.

We end up setting these “umbrella” New Year’s resolutions that are so over the top and all-emcompassing, they can’t be focused on anything quantifiable or specific. And because of this, we never really know if or feel like we have accomplished anything.

A now totally justified lisence renewal of operating on a sub par level (whether it be relationally, emotionally, scholastically, professionally, personally, etc.), ensues. This is followed by the complete draining of whatever self-esteem you had left. And by “you,” I always mean ME too. Welcome to the wash-rinse-repeat “resolutions,” that took over more than 2 decades of my life.

According to Oxford Dictionary, the term “resolution” is defined as:

A firm decision to do or not to do something.

That’s right – someTHING, not 723682736 things that give you anxiety just thinking about them all.

I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction and I can assure you – No matter how badly you want something, if it gives you anxiety when you think about it, you’ll never end up attracting it.

Because you’re vibrating on a level of angst, you’ll just end up attracting more relationships, circumstances, situations and events that elicit the feeling you are most strongly emanating.

In my last post, I mentioned my love affair with lists and how I wanted to create a New Year’s LIST in lieu of resolutions. 

These aren’t specific things that you need to check off everyday. In fact, instead of trying to accomplish or embody every one of them, HOLD ON TO THE FEELING  that you get when you read this list. Ride that wave and see where the connection and awareness take you. That’s my best advice.

So here it is – The Ultimate New Year’s List.

Unlike the list in my last post, which had more explaining and analysis, I wanted to keep this one super clean, specific and simple.

These things that have not only changed my life, but I remind myself of them and practice them daily. I’ve discussed a lot of this in previous posts this year and wanted to tie it all together for you.

Here’s to YOUR year. Starting now.

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image via My Laura Life.

Wait! WHAT?

Yup. I’m giving away $3000 worth of my favorite things as a big thanks to YOU.

I have spent the last 2 and a half months putting this giveaway together for you guys and could not be more excited to announce it or more grateful for the love and support from each and every one of you.

I love giving back to this incredible tribe that YOU have all created.

So… I partnered with some of my closest friends, colleagues and favorite brands to bring you guys the most major giveaway I’ve EVER done.

The focus for this giveaway is on beauty and wellness – inside and out.

And I’m already jealous of the winner.

Entry is EASY. You don’t have to sell your soul to enter or tag anyone on social media (the one thing that will always dissuade me from entering giveaways is having to tag 346537 of my friends. I don’t have friends, remember? You don’t have to do that here – EVER).

AND GUESS WHAT?

There will be 3 WINNERS this year.

Ready for it? YES.

Okay let’s do it.

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I have this thing with organization. Not in an over the top, obtrusive and annoying way, but in a “this-is-how-I-maintain-sanity,” kind of way. I understand that my allergy to bullsh*t and clutter is my thing, so I never try to impose it on anyone else. It’s just how I personally like to roll. I’m a very de-cluttery, list-y person. I’d rather read a straightforward, to-the-point list than a novel of what I need to do ANY day of the week. There’s nothing like checking things off of a list, crossing things off (which is even more gratifying after checking something off), and feeling that sense of accomplishment, peace, and open SPACE that comes with de-cluttering. Out of all the coping skills, lists have proven to be extremely helpful for me.

One of my favorite stores is The Container Store. The sheer level of specificity they get into when tackling disorganization and clutter is not only impressive, it’s unmatched.

Every post that I write on this blog is in the hope of providing an emotional container store for us all. Not so that we CONTAIN emotions that need to be expressed, but so that we can better organize our emotions – get easier access to them, process them and then decide for ourselves if we want to express them through our words, actions or both.

Okay so back to LISTS. Here’s why I’m obsessed:

Lists give easy access to the most seemingly inaccessible, intimidating, daunting, “too-much-to-handle,” stuff that our fears are all too eager to brush under the rug.

Under the rug brushing happens due to issues that we ALL have with abandonment, fear, the disease to please, low self-esteem, rejection, heartbreak, FAILURE, anger, jealousy, judgment, resent, etc.

Under the rug brush enough times though, and the moment you get triggered by a toxic f*cktard person, just WATCH how the dust flies everywhere. You won’t be able to see with all the crap flying around (that you thought you had so masterfully contained).

And because you can’t see, you’ll start to rely on others to be your emotional eyes, ears and oxygen. You’ll end up being made to feel like an ineffective, dirty, ‘falsely advertised’ pariah – by no one more than yourself.

Like I’ve said in many posts before – the holidays are great, but they also have a way of highlighting the lack in your life to the point of resurrecting emotional paralysis and impulsive behavior. 

What are the coping skills? How do you deal with holidays that are manufactured to celebrate the joy of togetherness while also passively exploiting your loneliness?

So for this post (the post after this is going to be published this Friday 12/22 and will be announcing my HUGE holiday giveaway !!) and my New Years post, I wanted to keep it simple and write 2 very different LISTS. Lists that provide accessibility and sense amidst the emotional and physical chaos that this time of year brings.

I’ve said this before – the worst advice I’ve ever received: “It’s not that simple Natasha.” 

It really is that simple. You just have to stop allowing holiday triggers to disable your emotional intelligence and sight.

Coping skills, Dilemmas Decoded & Being Alone: Holiday Edition.

Here’s what you need to know…

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