When it comes to red flags in a relationship, in dating, and even in your friendships…
Have you ever heard the saying “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”?
A red flag is the smoke that no matter how much you try to fan away, choose to identify as fog, or spray with the air freshener of denial and keep walking through, it will always lead you to fire. You may be able to see past the smoke and keep moving for a while, but fire is one thing that we all can agree, you will never be able to move through or ignore into extinguishment.
All you can do is tend to your burns by adjusting your boundaries, understand that ignoring the red flags of others is a major red flag of your own, and make the decision to stop normalizing and personalizing smoke signals when they appear.
The emotional toolbelt you were born with did not come with a hose to put out the fires of relational arsonists.
And their fires/red flags are not meant for you to extinguish, take ownership of, or be “good enough” to change the color.
They are meant for you to get away from.
The problem with red flags in a relationship is that they are the easiest to identify in every relationship but our own. And when it comes to the red flags in our own relationships…
They only seem to be the most visible in hindsight. Continue Reading