Being that it’s St. Patrick’s Day today, I’ve been thinking a lot this week about luck. Especially when it comes to being lucky or unlucky in love.
I used to think that luck was like lightning fused with superstition. You never knew when it was going to hit but when it did, it always hit every undeserving person but you.
Luck was something that I had no control over. It was finding a penny on the ground, seeing a multiple rainbow, getting a warning instead of a speeding ticket, rolling the dice, getting THAT guy to commit, being bffs with THIS girl, throwing the salt over my shoulder after I spilled it, completely guessing my way through the ACT and getting a very high score, etc. (I’m horrible at standardized tests and basically failed the SAT, so I took the ACT which doesn’t penalize for guessing).
Of all the luck I have wished would strike me, there was nothing I ever wanted more than relational luck.
I was very unlucky in love.
Because I believed that luck was such a rare commodity, I did 2 things:
- I got desperate for it.
- I complicated it.
Complication is your enemy. It makes you question yourself and everything you do. You become this insecure, frantic mouse in a maze that was already rigged from the get-go, to be absent of an exit.
Complication is also an emotional defense mechanism that kicks in whenever the fear of having to act takes over. Think about it – if everything is complicated and chaotic, you automatically have a valid license to not take any action despite whatever red and pink flags are right in front of you.
As far as desperation goes – when you think and act from a place of desperation, you just get more unlucky.
In my life today, I feel very lucky. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have my own problems, insecurities, heartbreak, and triggers. I just no longer feel out of control or at the mercy of having the luck lightening strike me. I feel like I’m my own lightening manufacturer – in my relationships, business, and life. And there is is no greater feeling than knowing you are your own shot caller.
People ask me how I get so lucky. That question used to elicit a lot of shame/guilt, but now I’m so in tune with and dialed into the work that goes into creating my own luck, I no longer feel ashamed or weird about it when asked.
It’s really simple.
So in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to keep it simple and lay out how to turn your unlucky in love streak around in 7 steps. These steps do not just apply to being unlucky in love – you can apply them to your friendships, business, and familial relationships too