Guess what? The quality of your life and your relationships, the level of success you reach and the level to which people are attracted to and interested in connecting with you are ALL dependent on ONE thing: Boundaries.
Boundaries are easy – they’re basically your non-negotiables as far as what you are willing/not willing to put up with. Boundaries teach people how to treat you and are the building blocks of unapologetic confidence and self esteem.
Every time I’ve “adjusted” my boundaries for someone, I’ve always ended up hurt and in hindsight, frustrated that I put up with amateur hour at the expense of my dignity and heart.
Looking back on it all, everything happens for a reason.
I don’t really like telling you guys that “everything happens for a reason.” Why? Because it sounds douchey, obvious and sometimes things happen in life that are so painful, trying to “reason label” them is like adding salt to the most unjust and unfair wound.
Regardless of what it is, don’t ever think that your failures didn’t happen for a reason.
One thing that has always prevented me from being able to propel out of deceit, rejection, failure, judgement and abandonment, is the shame associated with how much time I’ve wasted. Shame will literally freeze you in time. It will prevent you from evolving and extinguish any possibility of relational, personal and professional success.
This morning I re-read the post that I wrote on failure. Looking back on it, it’s amazing to see how every step was so integral.
I was always ashamed because of how much time I thought I had wasted – not only through my failures, but even more so in the aftershocks of them. This kept my anxiety at an all-time high and crippled me into a state of fear-based paralysis. I felt like I had already wasted so much time, there was no other option but to waste more of it and obsess over f*cktards who had no problem wasting it as well.
Now looking back, I’m so grateful for my many failures in the entertainment industry. It built emotional muscle and gave me invaluable knowledge that I’m now using for my own show and video courses. I also now coach many of the celebrities that I aspired for so long to be just like. I’m able to help them on a level that I never would have been able to if I didn’t have first-hand knowledge of the industry. Maybe one day, PMS will turn into a television show and all of the knowledge that I amassed from completely failing at making a movie will come to fruition.
What I do know: Everything happens for a reason.
Now let’s get back to you…
Good or bad – everything that you are experiencing right now in your life is a direct result of 2 things:
- Decisions that you’ve made based on what you have chosen to TOLERATE.
- Allowing those tolerations to define your BOUNDARIES.
And because your decisions are based upon the level at which you’ve chosen to tolerate, your tolerations are always in direct correlation with the quality and/or presence of your boundaries.
Boundaries are so powerful because they literally shape your life. Without clear-cut boundaries, you will always allow the decisions and actions of other people to fog your vision, cater to your fears and subject you to the role of “doormat #1” in YOUR life story.
It’s time to reclaim your starring role. Doormats are boring to watch.