“Will I ever find love?” is a question I get asked every day from people you would never in a million years guess they’d have any issue finding true love. These are people who have built incredible lives for themselves. They’re successful, have amazing friendships, and are ready to find the kind of love that makes all the heartbreak of the past seem worth it, instead of validating their fears on a daily basis.
With permission of the other party, I am including personal text messages of mine in this post because I will stop at nothing to help. I know this feeling of hopelessness all too well.
Whether you’re asking yourself “will I ever find love?” or “will I ever find love again?” feeling out of the loop is never fun. You go on social media and it’s always another happy family photo, an engagement announcement, romantic trip, baby announcement, your ex appearing to be a better person with a better person or another wedding that populates your feed (or if you’re stalking, your recent search list).
How did love seem to forget about you?
Why does everyone else, who isn’t even a fraction as deserving and aware, get the happy ending that you want more than anything?
And because you’ve built a great life for yourself and have your sh*t together, it’s even more baffling.
Deep down, you know you’re a catch but you can only subscribe to that belief for so long before you start to question your worth, the point of life, and surrender to your solitude.
You then begin to doubt your own standards. Friends and family tell you that you’re too picky. Maybe you are, but you’d rather be alone than settle. Everything around you seems to affirm the impossibility of finding a loving relationship with an emotionally available partner who you actually connect with and are attracted to.
There isn’t some magic formula or answer to “will I ever find love?” For me, it took shifting my mindset and identifying the mistakes I was making more than it ever took implementing any kind of rule or technique. I didn’t feel like true love should have to come at the expense of my self-love.
No one wants to have to play games and withhold their own emotional abundance to momentarily attract it in a partner just because they are consciously limiting the supply.
I initially wanted to make this list about how to find love but then I remembered…
You could be fishing with the most expensive, top-of-the-line fishing equipment known to man and no matter how incredible the equipment is and how skilled you are at fishing…
If you’re trying to fish in a puddle, you’re never going to find anything other than bacteria and filth – No matter how much you believe that your skill and fine equipment will attract a whale. Whales don’t reside in puddles and puddles are so shallow, they don’t require fishing equipment.
It’s time to figure out why you’re in the puddle and get you back out to the coast.