Commitment is a funny thing. We allow our desire for it and other people’s promises of it, to blind and paralyze us from seeing and acting upon red/pink flags that are often, right in front of our face from the get-go. “How to get him to commit to a serious relationship,” is something I’ve Googled too many times to count. I ended up finding the answer through life-living, mistake-making, time-wasting decisions that sabotaged the chances of anyone ever wanting to commit to me in any regard.
Whether it’s in business, friendship or in your romantic relationships, getting someone to commit to you, your ideas, your shared like-mindedness, your vision, etc., is the holy grail of emotional accomplishments.
No matter what, people will always be the most hungry for and pursue with an unapologetic, “have-to-have-it” mentality, that which they feel is a rarity. “Missing out” is no longer an option. It’s basic human nature.
Whenever the supply is perceived as limited… hunger, desire and pursuit will always kick in.
In the past, I used to be extremely desperate and at the the mercy of others for a fairy tale, Happily Ever After commitment that I was convinced, HAD TO come in the initial package of a toad for it to “mean” anything.
We are hungry for commitment, especially from those who are self-proclaimed “commitment phobes.”
Locking down a commitment is the ultimate “I must be a person of high value,” affirmation.
True commitment involves another entity, party or person recognizing a value in us that they believe is not only worth investing in, but that is often worth giving up something they used to value before you came into the picture.
And what’s more ovulation-inducing that someone who you’re attracted to viewing you as “special enough” to not only give up something that they value, but to choose you and only you – over and over again – every day – in the process of that forfeit?
This is why trying to figure out how to get him to commit to a serious relationship can be.so.addicting.
Is there a way to get someone to commit to a serious relationship? I don’t know. Maybe. I highly doubt it. Even if there was some magical way to passively mind control someone to commit to me, I wouldn’t be interested.
We want someone to commit to us for who we are, not because we followed some how-to guide and carrot-dangled our way into a wedding we’re still in debt over with no substance to show for it.
Looking back in 20/20 hindsight, I realize that whether it be in business, with friends or with lovers, there are ways to make yourself not only more of a rarity, but more of what I like to call “commitment assessable.”
There are definitely ways to make others more inclined to genuinely want to commit to you. And THAT’S what you deserve.
In this post, I’m going to discuss it in the context of a romantic relationship, but it can be applied in any area of your life.