Figuring out how to deal with haters is really tough. No matter how hard you try to bend, accommodate, please, and mind your own, there will always be people who don’t like you. Always.
Some may tell you to your face. Others will show you through their actions – They use the level to which they can manipulate and control your emotional weather as a temporary bandage for the cancer of their own insecurities, fears, failures, and misery.
These people will steal from and copy you WHILE they criticize/”critique” what you do. They will stop at nothing to passively destroy you and your reputation no matter how well you know them, don’t know them, or how good you’ve been to them.
Other times, hate will come in the form of a joke:
“Oh, I was just joking!”
“Whoa. Natasha. You CLEARLY can’t take a joke.”
Of course you were joking. As long as you’re “joking,” you can be a complete piece of sh*t while wearing the cloak of “comedian-that-no-one-thinks-is-funny-besides-the-people-who-are-afraid-of-being-the-next-cheap-punchline.” You can be as as*holic, brutal, and below-the-belt immature as you want to be because you guessed it… it’s just a joke. Right? You were joking. And if I, for some insanely illogical reason don’t think you’re funny, I’m the overly sensitive moron who can’t take a joke.
If you leave yourself open at all on social media or online in general, people who you can’t even see and who you don’t even know will throw shade and spew hate at you. They’ll act like they know more about you, your life and your loved ones than you do.
Every day, I see people being their authentic selves online (which is really nice to come by in an arena where you have the most control as far as manipulating your image goes).
These people are interesting – they have opinions, are honest, vulnerable, and agenda-less with the exception of servitude.
And that’s about all it takes for haters to show up.
It’s hard to know how to deal with haters.
A hater doesn’t have to be some anonymous person in the woods of cyberspace or someone who you don’t personally know. A hater can be anyone – a family member, friend, co-worker, boss, teacher… even the person you’re dating (or their family, friends, ex, etc). These people can also be very passive, competitive, and mixed signal-ly in their hate.
You could have a long history with this person. You could have been good to, generous with, and trusting of them.
And then one day… they turn.
We’ve all experienced this at one point or another.
I’ve lost love, encouragement, and support from family, friends, and colleagues over things that I’ve written. When it comes to helping people who are in pain, I will stop at nothing to get through to someone. And if getting through to them means creating my own psychological terms, not being consumed by or overly cautious of political correctness, and sharing my own experiences with feeling jealous, being hateful, vengeful, FAILING; experiencing rejection, and abandonment… so be it.
What I’ve learned from it all is that no matter what you do, there will always be people who have an allergic reaction to you and your accomplishments. They’ll then blame you for somehow creating that allergy.
And you HAVE TO know how to deal with these people or it will rob you BIG time. Just like it robbed me – of my health, time and energy that I’m still working toward rebuilding. I also try to forgive myself for the times that I’ve acted on my own emotional allergies ignited by the fear that other people’s accomplishments, beauty, life, being, etc., triggered in me.